Yesterday my wife talked to some guy across the street who is in his 20's. She is 37. She was with our one month old baby and was wearing a nightgown that allows for easy baby feeding. Then at night she went out in the back yard wearing the same thing. I told her in this country ladies don't do that kind of thing. No husband wants his wife talking to other men in her nightgown. I said it's not a dress but is bedroom wear. No one goes out in bedroom clothes unless they are trying to be seductive or are a little crazy in my opinion. I said , it's just plain dangerous. She said she is not young and the other gentleman was young. I said what do you think a lot of young gentleman have on their minds. My wife is very beautiful and also is well built. I might add that two years ago my wife had a two night stand affair while she was in China waiting for her visa to come to this country but we were married at the time. So maybe because of this incident I am more neurotic about these points. Perhaps it's nothing but no other ladies around her do these things. I said to my wife, maybe I'm wrong so what do you think if I ask our Korean neighbor. I brought the Korean neighbor lady over and the lady said no, never would she go out in some bedroom clothes like that. In China my wife was always very well dressed. She always says people here are dressed like pigs. In China I am sure she never would have went out wearing her nightgown. So I really can't understand her at all. She said she was just thinking comfort because it was hot. Am I making something out of nothing?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Rodger:
<strong> I told her in this country ladies don't do that kind of thing. </strong><hr></blockquote><p>uh...some of us do..
as long as it wasn't skimpy and she was decently covered...I see no harm in it

LOL..yea, I run around outside practically naked. BUT!!! We live in the country. Still...if I were in town I'd still probably run out to get the mail in my jammies. I had to meet the mailman the other day to get a package that wouldn't fit in our box and I wasn't wearing a bra (and I'm very built as well)...I was a little embarassed and tried to make the transaction as quickly as possible...but it wasn't a big deal.<p>I would say her prior activity, however...would be a bit more disturbing. Did you two ever really deal with that, or just kind of sweep it under the rug?

Hi Rodger,
I remember when your wife also wore her long johns to class with only her overcoat...<p> [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] I have to agree with you on this one. Going outside in a nursing gown or any type of nightgown is inappropriate, regardless of your nationality.<p>Maybe your wife felt that since she was holding the baby, the baby would shield any view that the neighbor may have had???<p>I don't know? It's weird, but depends on if the nightgown was FLANNEL or nylon? Which was it???<p>If it was flannel, I'd say you were a little overreacting cuz flannel is what some robes are also made of. If your wife didn't think she was being seductive, then you made a disrespectful judgment there... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Is your backyard fenceless? If not, I don't see anything wrong with being in an enclosed backyard with next to nothing on? Who's gonna know besides you???<p>If she is causing you unhappiness by this behavior, I think that is the MAIN thing, not what her thinking was whenever she did it. You know? She should be taking more extraordinary precautions to follow the Rule of Protection where your feelings are concerned...<p>Hang in there. I understand all your points.

Roger!?!?!?! <p>Wow, it's been a long time. So you have a baby? congratulations!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Now about her manner of dress. I see that is still an issue. Her need to show off her body is more than just a culture dress thing.... I think you know that. <p>Remind her that 'indecent exposure' is an arrestable (is this even a word???)item. Anyone could report her even the nice young guy if he is offended enough. U never know. <p>take care,
L.

DocsGirl: Well she wasn't indecent, it was just my idea that she shouldn't go across the street in her nightgown to ask a young handsom neighbor something. He might get the wrong idea and in the future something again might happen with my wife. Maybe I was over reacting. I asked my neighbors wife and she said she felt it was wrong what she was wearing.
hope4future: Well we had a rought couple of months but after awhile you have to decide to forget the affair thing if you want to stay married in a half happy state. So I decided to try to forget it. Maybe some behaviours trigger past memories and maybe there is only 99% trust but not 100%?
BINthereDUNthat : Well I am not a material expert but you can see the outline of her underwear and bra from the back and the front sides have slits in them for breast feeding so sometimes the nipples might be visible but mostly it's OK. Maybe the back yard wasn't a problem, it is not fenced though, there is a public walkway out our backyard (small backyard) and certainly going across the street she is visible to the four large houses on our street. I would think if my neighbor went out on the street with her nightgown on that there was something odd about her. Of course men in general like to see OTHER women do this but not their own wife.
Orchid: Nice to hear from you again. Things were generally OK between me and my wife. A friend of mine call it fine tuning problems. The bad thing is that with this behavious I brought up what my wife did before in a single sentence by saying "I just don't want what happened in China to happen again." She had no reply and probably I shouldn't make comments like that. Well I can't say it was indecent since everything was covered but some guys just get the wrong idea if a beautiful neighbor lady comes to there house dressed in a nightgown, to talk. Seems wierd to me but maybe I am old fashioned. If my neighbor's wife came to talk to me like that I think I would get a different feeling than if she was dressed normally. I told my wife if we were in a Nudist colony then she wouldn't have to wear any clothes. She said she doesn't want people to see her skin. Maybe my wife wants to see if she is still attractive to the younger opposite sex isn't consciously aware of it? I guess I have to forget it. My wife said she wouldn't do that again but I don't think it is that good if he only feels this way because I mentioned it. It's better if she could use her own logic. definitely my wife is very educated, talented and artistic so that's why I consider all this a bit wierd. She told me in China she wouldn't do that? I will forget it for now since some damage has already been done by me mentioning this to her.

Well, I don't believe you overreacted. Maybe the way you said it might have not come across in a friendly way (to make her feel like a foreigner, etc.), but maybe next time if you could focus more on how it makes you feel--uncomfortable, insecure, worried, threatened, etc... because of the past--not that you hold the past against her, but that you realize she has been vulnerable in the past and your marriage needs to be protected.<p>OH and if you could see through it, it was DEFINITELY NOT flannel! I have to agree with you that it was inappropriate to leave the house that way.<p>Also agree with Orchid that congratulations are in order! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Shoot, over here the teenagers have taken to wearing the long and short cotton jammie pants to school..much better than the "hoochie mama" butt-cheek peekers I used to see.<p>Why not take her to Kmart/Walmart and get some of those? Since they're two piece, they're perfect for nursing and cool and cute besides. Not much different than a t-shirt and shorts..and extra comfy for those quick naps that are wonderful with a new baby around. I wear these in the yard all the time.<p>And if she just had a baby, nothing else fits anyway!
T