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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
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Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
nt, mit:
No. There's no way that keeping the secret (LYING by OMISSION) is a reasonable, responsible solution.
I'll say it again. MY W HAD A SECOND A WITH THE SAME OM BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE FIRST A AND COULDN'T HELP WITH THE PROBLEMS IN OUR M WITHOUT COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE.
What you are proposing to do is crueler than putting your spouse through the pain of dealing with the truth, and it will last forever.
DON'T LIE ANYMORE.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 967
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 967 |
Have you had counseling? If not, I don't think you'll know just why you did this and that means there is a good chance it will happen again. My H admitted that yes, he thought he 'got away with it.' But he didn't.
Everytime you tell your H you love him, make love to him, etc. when you're concealing the affair, it's all built on a foundation of lies. Don't assume that he wouldn't want to know. That's a cop out.
Please read Torn Asunder and the article 'Shattered Vows' at findarticles.com
If you still feel that lying is the best option, go for it
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Nevethought
My questions to you were not meant to be mean spirited but more like cold buckets of water in your face.
Here's more buckets of cold water for you.
Would your H be more or less hurt if the truth about your A came from somebody else rather than from your own two lips?
Would it be easier or harder to forgive you?
If you still hold to the beleif that it is better that he not find out about your A, then I hope, for your sake, that there are no witnesses to your A that can come back at a later time to tell on you. I take that back, there is one and he is the OM. I hope you realize that as long as you don't tell your H, the OM will always have the truth as a weapon he can use against you. I hope that is not the case but it is a very real possibility.
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