Tempted:

Sorry up front for this, but... ...you're such a freakin' goof, tempted!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

"1. I have some male friends, but the ones I am friendly with share more than most men."

Like rubbing each other?

"We talk about feelings, dreams, life, spirtuality. Not about sports and our jobs."

Do you rub these friends? Breasts or no? THAT would be as inapropriate as it is with a female friend, because you're M'd. If you and they are not gay, THIS kind of friendship can be very healthy.

"2.Someone asked what I "get" out of the friendship with this woman, and it is a question I have been thinking about long and hard over the weekend."

Last time I looked at a calendar, a weekend wasn't a very long time. You don't seem 2 really understand time very well. When you "break it off" with your female friend, it's only for days or weeks, then you behave just like any WS that hasn't started withdrawl. Dang, tempted!

"Out of all the women I have known over the years, why this one strikes something in me makes no sense."

This is TYPICAL.

"I can not figure it out."

You're a goof. Gooves can't figure MUCH out! (sorry for yet another disrespectful judgement, but I can't very well slap you with a mackerel over the internet, can I?)

"I know many women through work and as I said I have been approached about starting an affair with three of them. One was very blatant, the other were more sublte."

Blatant: "How 'bout an A?"

Subtle: "<?>" How does someone approach you and subtly suggest an A? Is it them really approaching, or your wishful thinking?

"Not interested in the least. And yet with my friend, I am in love with her for reasons I could not even make clear."

Typical, again. Just stop it.

"3. Friendship with women in work is enjoyable, and I do maintain the boundaries."

Bull feathers! NO YOU DON'T!

"I went to lunch last week with a woman and it was out in public and we talked about varioius things."

Did your W know and approve? Did her H know, and approve? If no 2 either question, it's an EA, and you need 2 STOP IT.

"We are going to go again this week. She is married, happily, and just celebrated an anniversary. so i dont see any danger in these kind of lunches"

You're a goof... gooves don't "see" much of anything! (sorry for yet another, again, redundant disrespectful judgement).
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ August 29, 2002, 11:06 AM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

Tempted:
I have posted to you before about the harm my ws e/a had on my marriage and still is. If you think this will have no effect on your wife you are nuts. There was absolutely no physical relationship with my H and OW but it hurts so bad sometimes I don't think I can stand it. Please think long and hard about what this will do to you wife.
A number of members have asked you what you would think if your wife had a male friend that she rubbed and kissed like you are your female friend. You have yet to answer that question. Why is that?
T.T.H.O.

Ha Ha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Tempted ~~~

Please fill me in on the ways you are improving your M ...
What are you doing to make your wife the happiest woman on the planet?

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ August 29, 2002, 11:46 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Butting in here...

Tempted what are you REALLY doing to stop this EA. I was somehow sucked into an EA with my ex and never realized that there was such a thing until MB and I have posted a thread and gotten some really good advice. I was supposed to be going to see him tomorrow for the weekend and the anxiety has made me physically ill trying to stop this. What are YOU doing to stop it? Is this all a game for you? Here read my thread and read up on some of the great advice that I have been given...

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=8;t=011612

Tempted,

Please answer pepperband's question,

If you spend all your time making your wife the happiest woman on the planet, you wont have any time left for any of your OW's.

It is simply a DECISION.

Replaced

Soooooo tempted,

Are you still enjoying the company of young happily married women? Still recieving emails that tell you what a classy guy you are to buy her lunch? (OW#2)

Still leaving encouraging emails for OW#1 who so graciously accepts your kisses and other attentions?

How is it going with the 3 women OW#3, OW#4, OW#5.
Are they still letting you know that they would like to have an affair with you?

Years ago these behaviors would have been called "courtship". H and I got married years ago so I still view them as "courtship". Today it is called "coming on" to someone. Your OW's are coming on to you just as hard as you are coming on to them. That is what causes your "high" feeling.

Hopefully not. Hopefully you are 100% refocused on your own wife, your own marriage. Court your wife, come on to your wife.

If that is not your goal, if your goal is to simply "enjoy yourself" then perhaps being a single guy would facilitate that better? Then your behaviors would be perfectly acceptable as long as it is with another single person.

I dont mean to be sarcastic at all. Just the hard cold facts of life.

Give us an update.

Replaced