Pepperband,

My H's relationship with OW was more like him moving on. We were already seperated when he got involved with her. He still did lie to me about it though. I guess somewhere in my demented little world it feels better for me to call what he did an A instead of a relationship <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Oh, and by the way the Mustang is long gone, although I do miss it sometimes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

DU

In my situation I never had to go to Plan B. My plan A was for me, to allow me to see the man my W was preparing to leave, and become the man my wife wanted to stay with. Yes, at times I felt like a doormat. SO WHAT! I would take a bullet for my wife, so why couldn't I take a little disrepect? And, it allowed my wife to see that I was committed to the relationship.

In my situation, if I had moved out of my house and broke off contact (Plan B) my wife would have felt justified in pursuing A and we would not be together right now. I believe that with all my heart.

In Plan A, my wife saw change. Change that she had heard promises about for years, but never saw.
She has told me that she always wanted me, just not what I had become. Plan A allowed her to see that I could learn her needs, and satisfy them.

No offense, but I think Plan B, without Plan A, is a selfish cop out. My wife needed me during the time she was coming out of the fog, convicted of her sin, struggling to decide what to do. She needed me during the withdrawal period. I was there, in whatever capacity she wanted.

Yes, I was disrespected. I shared here about it. You people lifted me up. I carried on. Some of you told me I was crazy, the stuff I put up with. But it was ALL worth it. Every bit of it.

<small>[ September 13, 2002, 08:43 AM: Message edited by: Boppo57 ]</small>

Way to go Boppo.

jd