dont know how many people read my prior post, i had an internet type of thing, and now i regret it, and am trying to work things out with my wife, whom i love, and want to stay with, but do to past issues in past relationships, am very paranoid about trust.
this morning, on her cell phone, saw a number, and had a friend call it, turned out to be a guy who answered, im afraid with what i put my wife through the last couple of months, to ask her ,for fear of her bringing up my screw up,not saying i dont deserve it, but i do need to know, or should i just let it be, and forget it,and pray that it was a wrong number or something. any advice would be helpful,

Hi Joseph,

Well, I have a few remarks about your post here.

First, you call your affair an "internet type of thing." That would really upset me if I were your wife. You had an affair, call it that.

Secondly, if you have read around this site much, you know that the concept of being completely honest is important in marriage. That goes for both you and your wife. With that in mind, I think you should ask your wife about the phone number.

And third, please read everything you can find on this site. Read about Plan A and Lovebusters, and about how affairs affect marriage.

please, no more replies, got it straightend out, thank you

Joseph:

Less than two months ago, I found out W was having a A with someone she met at work. She did it because I was too wrapped up in alcohol and online porn to meet her EN's. Was her A wrong ? Yes. Were my actions the catalyst for her A ? DEFINATELY !! My online activity (and drinking) was every bit as deceiptful, painful, etc. as her A. Even though I didn't think what I was doing was "wrong", I caused our relationship to suffer and her to feel the same pain I felt when I found out about her A.

I urge you to follow the concepts you'll learn on this site and from the people who visit it; I have learned soooooo much since I've been reading the things posted here. Total honesty is the ONLY way to keep a relationship healthy ! Forget about online lust... it doesn't compare to what you and your wife can have if you both work on it.... I spent too many years fantasizing about what I thought I was missing rather than concentrating on what I could get at home if I only put some effort into things....