Hi all,

I was just looking at my profile and noticed that my member number is 7905...

Then I noticed that the latest member, jloves, is number 22430.

I'm assuming that the numbers are assigned in a sequential manner.

I joined back near the end of 2000 (I think). Things are a bit blurry for me durinng the time after dday. So that means within a year and 3/4, approx 14,000 new people were involved with an A, either as a BS, WS or friend/family of one or both.

It makes me want to cry. Doesn't ANYONE respect the unity between two people anymore? Doesn't a ring signify that that person is OFF LIMITS? Doesn't a marriage suggest to the people in it that this is supposed to be FOR LIFE?

Maybe I'm a throwback to some other era, but I believe that there should be some things in life (good things, that is) you should be able to count on. Your partner. Your freedom. Your safety. Your marriage.

Don't mind me..I'm just ranting. I don't even know where I'm going with this.

H2M

<small>[ September 24, 2002, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: recovered@last ]</small>

That's a very good point, R@L; 14,000 new members in less than 2 years is a very large number.

Perhaps it is a refelction of how we have lost ourselves in this materialistic and crazy life, and many have forgotten their inner and spritual life...negelcted it for so long, it's almost disappeared.

At least we know that those large numbers are working hard for their marriages; and that is perhaps a sign of hope.

I'm feeling both of you on this one.
I know several people who don't respect the instution of marriage.

They make up all kinds of excuses, for there infidel behavior. I had one guy tell me he married his wife because she was pregnant.

It took him 15 yrs to realize, he didn't love her and married her for the wrong reason. I asked him the OW you are seeing, did she buy into that line he just looked at me in despair.

Since I am one who also married because of a pregnancy, I felt a need to respond to this one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I can't speak for your friend, but for me, what you said about it taking him 15 years to figure out he married the woman for the wrong reason (pregnancy) is WAYYYYY oversimplifying things. In my case (and again, I can not speak for your friend) at that time in my life, my husband (then-boyfriend) and I were living together....he had asked me to marry him before I got pregnant. At the time, I thought he would make a good husband, and he has been for the most part (although there have been some emotional abuse issues). I just didn't know at THAT TIME that I didn't love him the right way, that he is more like a friend to me.

So, which is the bigger wrong...continuing to stay in a marriage that is based on something that is not true and pretending it is, or being true to myself and to my husband and divorcing? (I have tried bringing the subject up with him...for example, I have said that maybe we both would find more happiness with other people...and he immediately begs me not to leave and lays huge guilt trips on me.) I was so very close to leaving once, no matter how much he pleaded against it.....but, everyone talked me out of it because you should stay married no matter what! Marriage is supposed to be forever!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Let's not forget that some of the people that come to MB are not here as a result of an A. The "Infidelity" section is not the only part of this board.

Just trying to be optimistic.

DU

OR....It could just be that more and more people have access to the internet and, therefore, have found this site! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> The need for MC/MB has been around forever. Maybe people are finally realizing that it's ok to discuss issues and not pretend everything is fine. MB/MC is not a taboo subject anymore. Perhaps, we are becoming more enlightened!

To F4M
I wonder.... okay if you didn't love the person in the begining, can you learn to love the person? Are you looking at your marriage through a microscopic lense? meaning only looking at all the wrong and ignoring all the right things. Just asking.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> although there have been some emotional abuse issues). I just didn't know at THAT TIME that I didn't love him the right way, that he is more like a friend to me.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

When did you realize you didn't love your husband ?

<small>[ September 27, 2002, 12:06 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>