How do you guys deal with the fact that this guy betrayed you so badly, (mine twice, once with a one night stand and once wih a long term affair), that you can finally think it will never happen again? We started MC last Friday and he was already going to counseling previously - had been lying to his own counselor for the last three years... I think maybe this counselor is a lot better. She says b*&sh&t to some of his stuff, (No, I mean, a really professional and classy lady, but she uses this word and I just want to hug her), and well, my statements too.

But I think, god, he did it before (3 times) and again with this other chick, just once, but it was emotional too. And I think is he just going to do it over and over again? How do you know a repeat offender?

Has anyone known a repeat offender that has changed completely?

I wish I could say that my serial cheater had stopped and dedicated himself to our marriage, but it was not to be.

The way I think of it is that from his point of view (my stbx's) if he got away with it last time, he can do it again anytime, and he KNOWS it. Now I know it too, and he will never get another chance with me.

By the way, I came to this way of thinking after months of solid Plan A and I am currently on Plan B. During that time I have heard more of the hidden story of our marriage, stuff that I just did not know at all. Armed with that knowledge, I just cannot put myself in the position for it to happen again.

He cheated three times before we were married and if I had known for sure (I suspected and he denied) I would NOT have married him. And I used to wonder why he thought I was stupid?

Love and light to you, and good luck,

Nina