Asked WH to move out yesterday. He was issued a No contact order until Jun03 for the OW at work (EA/PA)and went into such a deep depression/grief. I couldn't take hearing him talk about her and seeing him in such pain. It was destroying my sanity. I have tried Plan A and will continue to do so as much a I can without to much contact. He only moved back in because of work I believe. WH is coming to see kids then leave after they are asleep. My son knows something is up, but we are trying to keep it from him. Did I do the right thing? I told WH that if he can commit to our marriage 100% and never ever see/e-mail/talk to her ever again then he can come home otherwise I asked him to move out. He thought I wanted a divorce when I called him to meet him. I told him that in no way did I want a divorce, but that I thought he needed time to figure out who/what he wanted. I feel much better. We are still trying to do things as a family and we are due to move from here in Jun 03. I am just afraid he will wait until then and pick up where he left off. He told me she became his best friend. It killed me. I am trying to prepare for the worst (Divorce) in my mind. He asked if I wanted a legal separation? I said no - do you think we need one? He said he will check on it. Does that mean he is close to making up his mind? He says he hasn't, but that isn't how it feels to me. How do I try and keep my space from him when he needs to see the kids and I want to do things as a family too. The more we are together the more deposits I can make into his love bank (after this grieving period-I guess). We do have a date night on Saturday. I hope it goes well. I appreciate any advice you can give me. Am I on the right path to save my marriage?

Barelyholdingon

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Married 15 years W (35) H (36)
Military couple
DS(3)DD(1)
D-Day #1 31 Jul 02 EA/PA
#2 26 Oct 02 (caught them in the act)
16 Nov - had great date night - WS moves back in because of work maybe finding out about A.
18 Nov - No Contact Order given by Boss (until Jun 02)- WH is grieving his lost love hard-telling me everything he lost.
20 Nov - Asked WH to move out. Couldn't take him telling me about her and seeing him in such pain.

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Posts: 5 | Registered: Nov 2002 | IP: Logged |

Barelyholdingon
Junior Member
Member # 23615

posted November 21, 2002 03:20 AM
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I forgot to mention that he is remaining celibate until he figures things out. He is doing this for her, but cheats on me. Go Figure.

Barelyholdingon

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Married 15 years W (35) H (36)
Military couple
DS(3)DD(1)
D-Day #1 31 Jul 02 EA/PA
#2 26 Oct 02 (caught them in the act)
16 Nov - had great date night - WS moves back in because of work maybe finding out about A.
18 Nov - No Contact Order given by Boss (until Jun 02)- WH is grieving his lost love hard-telling me everything he lost.
20 Nov - Asked WH to move out. Couldn't take him telling me about her and seeing him in such pain.

Dear Barely,

I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Ihave heard those words, she is my best friend and she taught me to live agin so many times. I KNOW HOWMUCH THEY HURT. I think you are doing ok, i didn't kick my h out because i knew i could do a good plan a at least short term. And it sort of worked. However, i am just to the point now that i address what i need. And the truth be told, i don't know if he is it. Scary to fight so hard to keep something, only to find out what you fought for wasn't what you though. Best of luck to you. S