I am watching my very best friend tap dance herself backwards right into a big giant EMA.

Here's a brief history. I had a 10 years EMA and my best friend HATED this guy pratically from day one. Her dad had many affairs and she vowed never, never, never would it be her.

Recently she moved to LA with her boyfriend. She's not working right now and her boyfriend is supporting her. She has her own money in the bank, but for right now they've decided to let her save her money and the BF is carrying the load. She works in the entertainment industry so not having a job gives her lots of free time to live as she pleases.

Recently she met this really fun (really young) guy. This guy is from a famous family and takes her to great parties and she's making great connections though him. This guy is young and sexy. Her boyfriend is kind of like old faithful. Not glamorous, not super fun. He's kind of plain a hard worker and he's a little needy.

She finds herself feeling resentful that he's supporting her and there's "chemistry" with this other guy.

She knows me. She knows the story. She refuses to deal with her rage at being financially supported and chooses to further her emotional affair (her words not mine).

I want to be a good friend but i'm not sure what to do. Or maybe I should just sit back and let her do her thing.

Wheh the shoe was on the other foot she really never shut up about how muc hshe hated MM but dind't even pause. I didn't end the affair until I was ready to.

Suggestions?

ps. She does not have internet access so she can't log on here.

You can give her the details of what you've learned, you can suggest books, you can suggest IC(I'm all for this...). What you are forgetting is...you can't control or change other people. You can only do this for yourself. I know you don't want to see your friend go down this long, hard road. Unfortunately, she is running away from her problems, 'medicating' herself in the L.A. lifestyle. That's not reality, that's not living! You can tell her these things but ultimately, she must figure it out for herself...hopefully, before she loses everything!

I'd be supportive, tell her you value her friendship and always will but, you can't condone her choices, they're wrong and you speak from experience.

You are a voice of experience. She will listen to you or she won't. Either way she'll figure it out in her own way and time.

Give her a copy of His Needs Her Needs...not on the premise that she needs it, but that it's a great book you found highly interesting and just wish to share with her. If she opens the door to a conversation about what she's thinking of doing...then talk talk talk, and try to get through to her (without being preachy). Chances are it won't work NOW, but your words will stay with her for moments of fog clearing.

I spoke with her last night. I told her that I love her and I support her in her process around this issue. I told her that I hoped that she would be ok and didn't end up too hurt in all of this.

This EA is serious. It really doesn't even matter if she sleeps with this guy are not. She's really far gone in terms of infatuation.

I recall the first blush of romance. It's like being high. You fight to maintain it. Her regular life is tedious and ugly right now. This young guy is showing her a whole new (unreal) world.

She's like me. She'll go her way where this is concerned. I just hope that nobody is hurt too badly.