I'm doing really well. I still am living at home, mainly for financial reason, but hope to be getting my own place by the end of the summer. WW is trying to assume the mortgage on the house and if she succeeds, it will release my VA loan benefits and allow me to buy my own place. The housing prices here are really starting to drop so hopefully interest rates stay low and I can get a good deal. My goal is to find a place nearby so the kids personal lives wont get disrupted too much. I know how important it is for them to remain close to friends and school.

As far as WW (soon to be XW) is concerned, not my problem or concern anymore. She has chosen a lifestyle that I quite frankly find disgusting and appalling. She continues to 'date' OM even though he is still with his W (I dont think she knows it continues). One night I asked WW point blank if she is happy being OM's mistress and she told me "yes, we make each other happy". WW also spends a lot of time at the bars and I have seen more than my share of bar napkins, business cards, paper scraps and deposit slips with some guys name and number on them. WW obviously enjoys the attention, and I suspect the free drinks, she gets from the night scene. Just not the kind of behavior I would expect from a 35-year-old mother of 4, maybe a 20-year-old single college girl.

But thats all I am going to say about WW, shes not a real part of my life anymore. Like I said, I am doing really good. I have worked hard at getting my life back together and I think I am beginning to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Work is going well, kids are doing great, I bought a new car (first new car I have ever owned) and the future looks promising, what more can I want? Heck, I'll be 38 in a few months and I havent felt even the slightest urge to have a mid-life crises.

My whole focus on life has changed once I realized that WW had no intentions of ending her relationship with OM. I think for the longest time I was putting the responsibility of repairing the M on me, hinging the success of my Plan A on whether the M survived or not, and in a way, enabling her behavior. But then I realized that WW should be taking on some responsibility too, that she should be proving herself to me through her actions and words, but that has never happened. So, I just finally said the heck with it, accepted what has happened and started putting it behind me. Ever since, I've been moving onward and upwards. And you know what, its a nice way to live.

So I guess thats it in a nut-shell. Sounds kinda boring, but for now, thats the way I want it to be.

LHS,

I am glad things are going well for you. Have you actually started the divorce procedings and do you have a legal separation agreement to cover your financial liabilites with her in mind.

I think she will end up a very lonely or disappointed woman if she stays with OM, but that is as you say, her choice.

How are your children doing? Are you talking to them and making sure they are doing alright?

God Bless,

JL

Good for you LHS!! It sounds like you are doing great! Does the OM still live next door to you? I don't remember if it was right next door or down the street, but in either case, I know first hand how hard that is. Will you be getting custody/joint custody of the kids? It is hard to move them away from their friends, etc., hopefully you will be able to find a place nearby so you won't have to do that. I moved to a different state (mainly because I couldn't afford the housing in my area)! My son has handled the move pretty well. Luckily he has his license and goes down to Mass to see his friends a lot. Thanks so much for posting your update. I am so glad that you are doing so well! Keep moving forward and keep up that great attitude you have!
BH

LHS

Each one of your updates....just shows someone who sounds stronger....sounds better....sounds wiser...and happier...

Your plan A is as much as a success as those that do end up in recovery...for yours brought to you to identify exactly what type of chaos you allow in your world...and exactly what is intolerable to you...without blaming others ...and knowing you are not responsible for others poor choices...

One night I asked WW point blank if she is happy being OM's mistress and she told me "yes, we make each other happy".

Ask her that again in a month or say..and I dare you not to crack up laughing... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .she can have that type of happiness....as empty as it is....

Hope that NEW car has a CD player in it..on the next sunny day....just dig up that old Eagles CD with ALREADY GONE on it...put those windows down...and enjoy!!!

Grace to you
ARK

Thanx all for those kind words.

JL- yes, we have a separation agreement in place, have for 18 mos now, basically right after DDay. I think that she was so convinced that OM would marry her that she didnt think too much about what she was giving up with the agreement. She gave up my inheritance, my retirement, my VA benefits, and all claims to any money I might come across in the future, like if I won Powerball or something. She did that so I wouldnt contest the separation agreement. Talk about fog! It hurt financially at first, but I am already starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Divorce will be as simple as filling out a few forms and having a quick court date.

BH- OM still lives 3 doors up the street. I sometimes get the pleasure of driving behind him in town. I get a kick out of seeing his face in the rear-view mirror and the sudden turns he makes to get out of my way. Hey, I cant help if if he is going to the same store I am going to at the same time, pure coincidence.

I found out last month that the guy who lives between me and OM had an A with a lady at the place both he and his wife work at. He moved out and now their house is up for sale. Beautiful place that they have been in for only 1-1/2 years. A real family-value oriented neighborhood isnt it.

ARK- Actually, I was thinking more of the 'Hey, Hey' song by Led Zepplin, you know, "Hey, hey, what can I do...I got a little woman and she wont be true" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

take care all!