So OW returned last night from trip(?) There must be trouble in the make-believe paradise that made WH left me an angry v/m saying if he knew I meddled in his A or meddled w/his lover,he said no more, that means our M is over...OW is playing hard to get(usual plot)WH always blame me when problems arise in his A.WH never looked at the REAL problem..two cheaters and an untrustworthy "love" whatever that is. I do not want to be a part of their sick game that they are doing so much damages to others...OW will carry all her bad causes to her children, cause and effect...as for my WH, he remains, he is not willing to take his own responsibilities but to continue to live a dishonest life. Happiness is what you are within, not to blame on M or now the A..what about himself? Why is my WH like this? I love him but he will never come home, he will beg OW till OW takes him back... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

good grief, logic is certainly not the strong suit for a WS in heat, is it? And your marriage WILL LAST somehow if the affair is unimpeded? How will that work exactly? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

You should do everything in your power to end the affair, wangi. Including telling everyone you know. If she is married, call her H and tell him. Meddle, meddle, meddle.

Blah,

Is this true? I know were you here reading last night and even earlier today. Did you read here after you dumped on Wangi?

Really, if the OW is that great, then why dump on Wangi? Why not give your W everything and leave yourself with nothing? After all that OW is the greatest thing since stale bread right?

Don't blame your W for any tantrums you and your OW go through. Even if anyone did say or do something isn't your supposed foggy love with your OW able to withstand the truth? I mean haven't you shored up enough lies so that you will never see the truth? Will OW always look that good even when she casts you aside for the next pair of pants that come along?

Blah, you need to learn better about women. Ever hear the phrase 'a woman scorned....'? Well many a WS try to tag that one on their wives but it is the OWs they should really be afraid of.

Now stop dumpin' your issues on your W and at least have the decency to act like a man not a bull with raging hormones. There's a good book that speaks of men who act like a bull..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Blah, realize that most people would not speak this 'frankly' with you but you have been here before and still keep coming back. You need to get help for yourself or you will end up in the gutter of life wondering who to blame and only see your reflection.

You know you are not the only WS out here to does those phrase sentences of poetic thought. Another WS is doing similar and that one is fighting a battle that has been going on for close to 5 years. Do you want to be in the same situation 5 years from now?

I hope you are able to see that this is very hard for me to type. I have an inflamed ulnar nerve on my right hand and it is in great pain right now but because I can still see a ray of light for you, I keep posting. You probably won't appreciate what I've posted.....that's the chance I take.

Seeing your W in such pain reminds me way too much of what I went through 2 years ago. I would not wish this on anyone.

Wangi,
Sorry you are dealing with this mess. I can feel your pain and encourage you to leave Blah in his mess for right now. He is not in the frame of mind to appreciate the diamond in his life (you) no matter how much you sparkle. Instead his eyes prefer the cubic zerk that has no value.

Go do something that will help you to smile to day. We are going to the beach in a few minutes...... I need time to say goodbye to my cousin (she died last night and was an avid surfer). Since she is in Hawaii, this is my way of helping me make it through my crisis.

take care,
L.

Wangi,

did you pee your pants when you heard the line that if YOU meddled in his affair that means OUR marriage is over....from laughing so hard....

I almost peed my pants when I read it....

BLAH...does that sound like one of the top ten most ridiculous statements that ever came out of your mouth ?????

If your wife...WIFE... WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(think of the definition of WIFE here....
"blah blah blah blah,"
"that means our marriage is over..."

YEP....that's the line that almost made me pee my pants laughing....
the end of marriage would be soley laid to blame at your feet WANGI...the WIFE...for meddling in his affair...that's a classic....

(BLAH..remember the definition of marriage...)

Wangi it hurts...but look also how riduculous it is....it is so irrational that it IS funny...

I'm suprised your eyes didn't fall right out of your head from rolling after hearing that oracle of wisdom....
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

It is very profound....
profoundly insane.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wangi...much strength and serenity to you...
Blah...you are in my prayers....

ARK

Thanks so much Melody and Orchid, I will be good to ME, but I need to vent, perhaps by now they are lovey dovey again, OW is good, you are right, she is a CZ perhaps worse, a plastic you can buy from drug store( and I am the latest Lucida from Tiffany & Co! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )WH is kidding himself that OW is all that,WH complains about her,short legs and wrinkle belly w/ streched marks,shaggy breasts,OW even said about herself that way to me too,oops...bad, but I had a blast when WH said that even if he lied!)You know sometimes I feel like the BSs gang up against all the OWs, too bad,OWs need some spanking here!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I wish WH knows he is not the only that is screw up, I can forgive his A but not going to endure if he keeps that going on....OW has OM, that is no doubt,OW is a flirt even when OW took Blah to a function in a hotel she flirted w/ others b4 Blah,and introduced Blah as "friend" Blah had a fit, and still Blah thinks he can change this B***** <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Give me a break, once a W**** always one..no matter how decent she dresses up, right? I feel sorry for the kids though..what a role model! Orchid thanks for the email, speak to you tomorrow, you have been so supportive, I am crying, I need a good cry...My WH will not come home, he is waiting for me to file a divorce so it is me who doesn't want the marriage, so he does not need to take his responsibility...the consequences of having an A! And, it seems like he is losing his chance in school too, I am not the one to blame, he blames me for not loving him...he sent emails saying that I have only hatred and no love...should I cry or should I laugh?

Thanks Ark, I was just <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> about it, for I heard it too many times, classic Blah, he is a good man but still screw up big time, My heart goes out to him...will write more later, gotta go, thanks Ark

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by wangi:
<strong>he blames me for not loving him...he sent emails saying that I have only hatred and no love...should I cry or should I laugh?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ya know, Wangi, not everyone can be as "loving" and "devoted" to their spouse as good ole blah, can they now? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Is he trying out for his own comedy show or what? This is good enough for TV!

My WH wrote me an email telling to stop my anger etc, said that he may ultimately fall and I won't know, he meant I don't care...and I know the pressure he has had in school, he supposed to "make a decision" W or OW before school started, all last minute, then he screwed up, dismissed divorce,failed on the withdrawal and gave in,lied again and again,begged and begged for the oh-so-great-OW to take him back(will you be surprise if OW will take him back????)OW has some denial problem about her own insecurity,if she is all she said:Doctor drives Boxter "wants" her except she says no, perhaps she likes other's H that is a challenge and it happen that Blah is a handsome man with a great well built body, why not even if it is sin to sleep with other's H, that shows how great she is to steal other's H! Anyway, I said to Blah,he and I admit our problems and seek help from Counselors but not OW,she thinks she is normal..she supports cheating and lying and BETRAYAL, you think she or Blah would ever trust each other? I guess that is
enough about venting, thanks. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
p.s. Orchid sorry about your cousin, I was too busy venting..will talk tomorrow,ok.

Ooohhh Wangi,

Work with me on this one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ..... I think OW is making too much up about the OM. Why? To make Blah jealous. Why? Because she doesn't have as much as you think.

This OW you are dealing with must be related to PBR. Wouldn't it be wild if it was PBR??? I will tell you more about her later.

The point is that if OM is great, then why is she wasting her time on Blah? If Blah is greater then why is she wasting her time on OM? She may have 2 fools but for sure she has 1 fool in her grasp!!!

As for Mr. Blah telling you to stop your anger.....let him know you will when YOU are ready. In the interim, tell him to....well I will tell you the rest tomorrow. Let Mr. Blah wonder what will Orchid say to his W??!??!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

{{{{{{Orchid}}}}} Sorry to hear about you cousin.
------------

There is so much about the way WS and OP conduct themselves that just amazes me.

Wangi,

It took me a bit before I could respond to our post because the threat is so ludicrous. Let’s see your H is having an affair, your marriage is all but destroyed, but if you don’t let him have his way and have his affair he’s doing to divorce you? Huh? What did I miss? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

It’s most amazing. He can have an affair and do this to you and you are not supposed to get upset. But if you dare to interfere with his affair he will end your marriage???? Has it dawned on him yet that you may not want to be married to a man who has an affair, mistreats his wife and then tries to make it his wife’s fault?

Has it dawned on him yet that you are an independent person who can do what ever you choose just as he can? Has he realized yet that it may be you who ends your marriage?

One of the most amazing things about WS and OP the entire existence of their affair is bad, selfish and hurtful behavior. They are playing totally out of the rules of civil society. Yet they expect everyone else to play by the rules. And also by some rules they make up themselves. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Blah,

I assume you are Wangi’s husband.

Maintenance of your illicit affair is not your wife’s responsibility. It’s very interesting that your relationship with the OW is so fragile that you have to threaten your wife. It’s interesting that this OW is playing games with you. It’s amazing that you think you love someone who is willing to hurt another person the way the OW and YOU are hurting your wife.

You cannot control your wife’ behavior any more then she can control yours. She cannot make you end your affair. You cannot control how she reacts to your affair. If she says she is not then perhaps you should believe her and not accuse her of it. Not everyone lies and sneaks.

On the other hand if Wangi wants to meddle in your affair then so be it (as long as she does not cause physical harm). She is also not responsible for keeping your dirty secrets. If she wants to tell the whole world it’s her choice. That is her prerogative. Just as the OW has made the choice to interfere in Wangi’s life and marriage.

If my husband were having an affair I’d find ways to make their life miserable too… oh wait a minute, I did do that already. I would do it again. I do not like being played for a fool.

Blah, if your marriage ends it is your fault. You are the one who destroyed it. Not your wife even if she meddles in your affair. You may recall, in the moments when you have a clear head, that affairs destroy marriages. This is totally on your shoulders, do not try to blame your wife.

I am amazed that Wangi still cares for you and is still talking to you. I am amazed at your gall at threatening your wife on any level. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<small>[ July 07, 2003, 01:58 AM: Message edited by: Zorweb ]</small>

<<<There must be trouble in the make-believe paradise that made WH left me an angry v/m saying if he knew I meddled in his A or meddled w/his lover,he said no more, that means our M is over...>>>

What marriage?

He considers the situation he's put you in a "marriage?"

Thanks Orchid, Zorweb,Psycho_b, I was not feeling well last night, I felt as if I am having everybody on my side against WH, I know as low as he has been lately, he never meant to hurt me but his cheating behavior defeated him, he later on emailed me that he was sorry that he left me the angry message because he "was" insecure..what made it difficult for me is that he USED to love me deeply, he put me FIRST, he was VERY honest & virtuos...he is GONE now, I am having a tremendous heartache, he revenged on my so-called EA with xbf that I used to confide in behind his back,didn't see xbf since I was married.
I was wrong not to confide in Blah but Blah could not forgive me over all the phone calls made,not to justify,I had only spoken to xbf,perhaps once a month max(min.quarterly)I had stopped after Blah caught me calling the second time,I ended the "friendship" altogether and realized that my M is more important than anyone/anything else, yes I was not working hard on the M,I was being comfortable in it and didn't see any need of changing it etc...so Blah ends up having an affair before confronting me about his needs not being met by me,some of you might know that I was brutally abuse both physically and sexually by my XH of 3 months at the age of 24..that haunt me even now, but gets so much better,some of the fears were huge..I do not want to get into this past right now. Blah was abused as a child and i understand,many times we tried to protect ourselves before other hurt us,therefore we did fight quite a bit, with OW,he does not get that,he feels as if OW understands and adores him much more than the W has, OW gets him in the BEST shape,in and out of bed from hotel to hotel,even he ended up paying for all the Hyatt hotel bills..for OW is soooo "high class" that she would not go to motel or anything cheaper, tell you what,she is not,she just wants to believe she is, there are times she always tell me she is rich and tell Blah she has no money(so Blah will pay)then all in a sudden she could offer "finacial supports" to Blah if he divorced me,OW used "moving away"(so that Blah & I can work on the marriage...BS) in late April,then Blah came to me...confided in me about what a S*** OW is,disrespect him,used him etc..I thought he was clear,then later on OW is not moving away(stay for Blah)YET Blah does not see she is playing game, one minute moving away,next minute stay to be with him??? (Talking about moving from Bay Area to San Diego...is it a joke? She has to arrange kids' school etc, right? Is Blah "not smart" or what?) Blah knows but OW has such power to control his weak mind,OW used the sexual encounter daily within the week to try to make him stay with her in order to let the divorce go through...Blah chose to dismiss the D,then sort of regret after he did that,though he still said "it was the right thing to do!" YET,he does not want his M but the destructive A! He is begging her,trust me. Blah seems to like to be treated badly by OW?? You know I love my WH but I know he is not coming around...you know I am the one that trying to avoid his A being known by others, whereas Blah has been the one that broadcast it mostly to people that do not know me,he would tell them what a lousy wife I was etc,all my personal problems etc..,like friends
that he hardly know,personally, most of them are gay friends...I think he was trying to get these people to support him to leave me and go ahead w/the D or maybe to tell him to be alone etc, just not that kind of people will tell him to go back to the W, you know,he is not even ashame of the A, really,he has, yes, some friends that think his A is good for him and he should
divorce me, they said thing slike the W will never trust him anymore etc,I always tell him that trust is not a gift, you must earn it...he wants to hear just that, therefore he will never come to MB because no one tell him to take OW but the poor W,WH always say that I am playing victim..am I?I have my rights, haven't I? Dammit,I am hurt,I trusted him sooooo much,the most! He betrays me big time and not feeling any remorse,yet he dares to compare me with a S****! OW's OM is not the Doctor w/ Boster(she wishes,oh she said she does not want him!)She has some guy
named BOB that takes her and kids to vacation(like last year to Cancun,even Blah knew it,perhaps her recent trip to Denver)Blah justified that they are just friends,(friends that sleep together)OW uses OM etc(what? use OM? Aren't you Blah being used as well?!) OM buys her diamonds,(CZ that look like diamonds! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )
Blah told me OW has a picture of Bob's niece with her kids in her wallet...is he really just a friend?OW slept with him when Blah returned home last Dec,confessed to Blah,WH thought she was being honest..and forgave her, as much as I know Blah,he would not even allow any phone call w/another guy that can be a threat to his relationship...you think he can just forgive the woman sleeping with another guy? Very funny,isn't it? Sometime last year,Blah & I were walking toward the car in a parking lot, a pretty good looking guy smiled at me, I smiled back,being courteous..Blah grasped me tighter. What did that tell you? Even then Blah BELIEVED he is deeply in love with OW and not wanting me or the M anymore, why couldn't I smile at another? I do understand, not that he love(d) me but he is just a jealous guy. I don't know what to feel anymore, the man I married to is gone, gone, gone... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I care about him deeply even after his brutal A, this is even worse than my XH's abuse( <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> even the sexual/physical abuse was not as bad, for this A continues.)I don't have a word to describe this feeling of mine. Thanks for reading..don't know what I had written.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Wangi,

Forgive me if I'm overstepping my bounds here.

I had to stop reading your post because I think you are allowing yourself to be abused and I feel for you.

Are you seeing a therapist?

I think Blah is emotionally abusing you. He has got you caught up again in his triangle with the OW. Somehow he convinces you that you belong in it with them.

Why would you be having conversations with the OW, Wangi? Remember, the only chance of reconciliation for you is to get yourself out of their crazy world. That's when you begin to think like them when you are involved in the triangle. You will be their scapegoat and they won't have to deal with each other.

You are not responsible for him, Wangi. As long as he has you to blame, he does not have to take a look at himself. I know. I've been there.

Try reading CODEPENDENT NO MORE by Melody Beattie or listen to the book on tape.

Mimi, the last time I talked to OW was when Blah decided to have me move out when he contacted OW after a 2-week NC(6-24) that was the last, I called her to ask her for a favor that to make sure Blah studies and I regret over it now, very much so. I do know I ENABLED Blah to walk all over me and that is why he would not come home, I know, I am trying...Mimi sometimes I hate myself for being weak this way, I want the M and I want to have a normal marriage life..it is simple, I want to start anew. But there is no M w/o H...but Mimi, can't you see, my heart is dying...sooner or later. Why us? Thanks Mimi, sorry to let you down. I WON'T talk to the loser(OW) anymore, but Blah keeps blaming me that I meddled w/OW's wicked mind..I know, so that he is not taking his own responsibility...c'est la "Blah"! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Wangi,

I really, really understand what you are going through. Blah and my WS could be the same person. They are so much alike. My WS has said the same things about the OW (admiration, etc.) that Blah said when he was on MB. Plus, my WS left me and went back to his OW after being home for 3 weeks. I understand you, Wangi.

I was weak for my WS too. He knew that and used it to keep me in the triangle. Like Blah, he wants me and the OW. Their way of thinking is sick Wangi.

I've opened up to my friends and they and everyone here has finally convinced me that I was being brought DOWN to their GUTTER level. I don't belong there and neither do you Wangi. The only way that Blah and my WS will get better is if we detach. Plus, if they ever come back to us Wangi we have to be strong enough to help them through the storm. We can't allow ourselves to be destroyed by them.

Don't worry about letting me down. Don't let yourself down as someone on here told me. The greatest loss would be the loss of YOU!

Tell yourself like I do that the ONLY CHANCE of reconciliation is if he comes back on his own and the A is not enabled. Regardless of whether Blah knows about it or not, I would suggest doing YOUR OWN PLAN B on your own terms and try to stick with it. We can struggle through this together.

Stay on the BOARD or they will catch you in their web. That's what happened to me, Wangi. I'm trying to warn you because I've been there and it's an awful place to be.

Mimi,I admire your strength, and I remembered reading your reply to Blah's post when he had his NC, he is really no one special, just as the OW,any woman can be devious..OW intimidate me in many ways, the power she has over Blah,you know
what,the fact is I am a better person,w/moral,not to mention prettier,taller and sexier except not hornier,that is what capture Blah,the exciting part since I had some kind of fear of being sexual
due to my severe sexual abuse in my last marriage for 3 months. Blah knows the differences between me and OW but he is afraid because he hurts me,he fears I would not forgive him ,too much pain and guilt,I believe..and OW enables him to escape from these fears and unwilling to look in depth or work on the problems, instead he dreams to start all over in an affair that he thinks his problems JUST go away if he lives in an exciting life w/OW, always wondering her whereabout as she is a typical low-life flirt. I do believe that WH knows all these but just don't want to face the reality. The fog is only thick when he won't try to come out of it, perhaps that way he can forget his fears and pains within..this is more than just the A that Blah is running from...have you read Princess' replies about Blah's fear, it is indeed..to substitute his A to his fear/pain. I had said if it is just the A,I would have left him already, I told him as well, he never had two women fighting to be with him,he never knew how "nice" to be able to lie and not caught(before DDay)he never knew something this exciting outside his M, he never knew how he had affected many,he never knew the things call selfish and thoughtless...he must be liking all these or he would have stopped, he does not know how to stop lying and cheating,he is losing many over this A, family,friends...no one know how to trust a liar anymore. I am willing to forgive him for all these wrongs he had done to many esp.me, I know deep down,he is painful, but he is not willing to LIVE RIGHT,he is afraid about being judged and all,everyone that loves him(still) await for his return, no one is going to accept OW except for his couple rotten friends that support his A because he bad mouthed me to them. It is their ignorance to believe him, just a way to justify an A is OK...since your W is so bad to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I am going to be strong,OK, I promise myself, it is good to know there are people like me, that been there done that. MB helps, Blah said MB is depressing..because no one support his A w/the devious OW whose name is LOVE in Spanish...how ironic?! Blah sometimes justify that we are from different cultures, excuse me, isn't OW from the same area,yes,with "almost" the same culture as me,S.E.A.,definitely different family values and background. Thanks, just venting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Wangi,

I definitely am not strong but I am getting stronger. The answer is my greater detachment from my WS.

My WS has emotional issues, too. He acknowledges using the OW as a cure for his depression. I decided that he has the choice to see a therapist, to get antidepressants, etc. He has chosen a self-destructive solution and I have no control over his choices.

Remember those are BLAH's emotional issues and not yours. It does not matter what the issues are if he does not choose to work on them. He is escaping rather than facing his problems. The same is true for my WS and I do not choose to go down that road trying to rescue him anymore. Now my life is at stake. Everybody has been telling me again today how I need to put on more weight. I have to remind myself to eat.

I also have the problem of envying the OW, being concerned about her power. I keep reminding myself that the power she has are evil influences-not any way that I want to be. She will pay a price in the end for her actions. It never fails. God has his vengeance on EVILDOERS. I've put my situation in God's hands and I believe that HE is working it out for me.

Take Care of Wangi. This is exactly what everyone here kept telling me. Now I've progressed to telling you that. Wangi you will get here. Focus on yourself, not on him. Focusing on him is like beating your head up against a wall. I know, Wangi. Remember, I've been there. The OW is trash. She's a pig. You do not want to wallow in the mud with her.

<small>[ July 07, 2003, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Mimi, I am so blessed to have people like you,Princess, Orchid, Ark, Melody, LIR, Nick, Just Peachy,many many more...I will be stronger, and I can not let myself be in the dysfunctional situation anymore..I grew tired and weak at times, again, I feel like my WH will never come home never mind Plan A or Plan B, he is gone, why should I even worry about his coming home when he is giving up his most precious woman-the one he married to, the one who is not an oink oink but a cool creative woman, the one who still care and love him after his destructive A and still
on..why? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Let go and let God, I really do know that God is with me though Blah insulted me with the God I always talk about to him when all I could do is to be angry...by reading Bible verses nightly help me, at least help me to continue walking in the light. No need to look over my shoulders, I am bold and beautiful...tee hee. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I lost 16 lbs(down to 94) during DDay through April or so, now I began to grow side wayyyyy but I try to keep myself healthy,Blah could only tell me that I did it to myself, I didn't want to take care of me or I tried to have his sympathy etc, he didn't care or understand it is call being depressed and destructed by his A, I could not help it. He was all depressed when he went through his depression over some oink oink and not doing anything that is healthy for himself but to be depressed...why one always have the mirror to look at others and not himself? Thanks Mimi, always, from my heart.

Good morning..what happened this morning was I got to work and found an email from WH---he was sooo angry, the first thing he said was "Follow their(MBers) advice and keep meddling" and he said he is on the edge right now, keep pushing and watch happen...of course he meant to divorce me and be w/OW, used all the F words in the email,he is thinking I am meddling, anyway,he said I talk big and full of Sxxx, I am a liar, how dare I talk sxxx about him,I have no moral base to stand on, there is no love in my speech or actions,pure hatred, stop distracting him from his work, I can have an influence in HIS success or destrction, I am choosing to destroy...Fine, he will take care of himself. He also hope that I can live with myself for I continue to do to him...WATCH WHAT YOU DO FROM NOW ON YOUR FINAL WARNING...these are his exact words, I am not even afraid of them, he can be mad, this is the kind of evil strength from that OW,only her can give him such strength. I am not going to say much. When he reads this, he will realize how rotten the content of his emai. He claimed if he received anyymore nuisance calls or email trashing him?? GAME OVER! You know I never believed that OW,she has the power to have her people to destroy things between Blah & I, but she made it all look like I am th eone who did all THAT...
Anyway, I am going to Santa Barbara this evening, drving for the first time, my firm allow me to rent a Beemer, cool huh,there will be an arbitration tomorrow afternoon, Blah's voice in my head telling me "you can't do it" (driving)even though I just have my license couple months ago(not having licence was one of his top 10 list about me---part of the emotional needs? So I went ahead to have my license when I moved out and I have it now, so what? I never thought I needed one, ok)I am going to do it, I chose driving instead of flying, I need to breakthrough my fear,
and I can do it. Wish me luck, OK. Thanks again.

Man, is he selfish or what?!

Maybe you need to talk to a lawyer now ..
be pre-emptive
no more contact with OW

When my FWH talked like this while in FOG (this time last year) I went on-line and bought a divorce book for my state (with workseets, papers, etc.) and contacted my sister. I told her what was going on and to begin sounding out my parents to see if the kids and I could move into one of their rental properties (they live far away and this would be a big move).

FWH (Myad) began to get the idea that I was serious -- that I was not going to be drug around and shaken like a dog's toy.

Is there something like that you can do here?
really plan B now?
start building your own life without blah

oh and --- Good for you!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Break through your fear -- it will help yo in the long run .. esp. dealing with blah

way2

<small>[ July 08, 2003, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: way2 ]</small>