Tomorrow is my ex-H B-Day. Would I be too pushy to offer to maybe cook dinner or something for him?

I want more than anything to be back together with him but I am trying to just give him his space. So I don't want to push him away further.

We are getting along really good right now, and I think he might say yes but I don't know for sure. I'm kind of scared to ask. I did buy him a gift from the "kids".

I would love some opinions.

thanks
sad*ex

sad*ex, I wouldn't consider it pushy. you have children together, they have gifts for dad, why not ask him to dinner. Would be a nice event for all concerned. Especially the children.
Don't we do things like this for dear friends as well? He's much more than that.
Just keep it pleasant conversation, happy time.
Good luck and enjoy. LouLou

Thanks NB,
I think I will ask, all he can say is no right? I guess I can handle that.

sad*ex, glad you're going to ask. If he says no, don't let it be too upsetting. I am reminded of a saying my MIL always says. "Remember, you are not the target"!
People have to deal with their own feelings in time. Fears are the worst!
I'm betting on his coming for the dinner you're making and enjoying it!
Please keep us posted. Good luck and God bless, LouLou

P.S. just wanted to share something I felt and did as a BW.
It was actually painful to be around my H after the A. It was almost impossible.
I would go away for days, even to daughters for a month at time. Even when I was away the pain was there, I missed him. I wanted to be home.
Weird! I couldn't find peace with or without him. But I had this awful fear of being hurt more. This could be your H's feelings. We do work at trying to shut out and close down our feelings out of fear.
The best thing you can do is make him feel safe with you, Secure, and reassure of your love regardless of his feelings right now.
LouLou

LouLou,

Thanks so much for your responses. I did ask him and he said yes!

The reason I asked if that was too pushy is because I have been pushy in the past.It has been almost 2 years since he moved out and I have never been a patient person. But after finding MB I am really learning to be.

I have learned that I have no right putting time limits on anything. He will come around in his own time.

I do still slip up sometimes, for one thing he has a female friend that I feel very threatened by and I do sometimes ask about her and where their relationship might end up. He says she is only a friend. And I'm even learning to deal with that a little better. That's my biggest fear is that he will meet someone else before he sees me as the person I can be.

There hasn't been a day since he left that we haven't talked or seen each other, so I try to look at that as maybe he still does care a little. Even though we have children together he could just be calling them but he always asks for me too.

He does put up walls, he has said that is really what he fears most, getting hurt again.

Thanks again,
Teresa

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"He does put up walls, he has said that is really what he fears most, getting hurt again.
"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know what is the best way to prevent an affair from happening? Radical Honesty. If you can get the point across to him that what contributed greatly into your A was your lack of honesty with him about your emerging feelings towards the man who later became your OM, he MAY see that you have indeed learned a lot from your blunder of 10 years ago. Knowledge , you can inform him, is what gives you the edge over any other woman who might come into his life seeking his love.

sad*ex, I'm so happy he accepted your invitation.
As for patience, I get the crown for "Queen of Impatience". LOL So I know what you are dealing with.
When we realize something we want to fix, have, or do, it's like yesterday we want it done.
But patience in this situation will pay off, we pray!
You're already showing a great tolerance in my book, as I could not deal with H having women friends without me.
Not only share your knowledge, but when he is coming over, spread a few books around that you are reading, (And do read them) on healing relationships! Try subtly to let him see you are truly working on you!
And always, always ask about him, how work is, and his interest. Strokes the ego.
LouLou