I have tried to approach difficult topics with recovery with my H in various manners. But there's a pattern. I express my points, ask for his input, try to practice POJA, and do my level best to avoid LB. I don't get a lot of response. He looks like he's listening but doesn't give me feedback. Eventually, I get frustrated to the point of the old Angry Outburst. At this point, he actually responds and seems to listen more. ARRRGGGHHH!!! I don't want to get sucked into this being the only way to effectively communicate, but it's the only thing he responds to. I feel like he doesn't take me seriously unless I'm visibly (and audibly) upset.

BTW, my AOs aren't exactly tantrums. I show my emotions, swear only rarely, raise my voice without shouting, and don't resort to insults. I do DEMAND some sort of response.

Any suggestions on how to get the point across that I'm serious without getting ornery? Or is it better than not me feeling like I'm not getting the point across at all?

Hey Dobie!!!

How about the good old MB 2x4??

No seriously here that must be incredible frustrating...

Have you tryed the Policy of Undivided Attention???

I don't know maybe I'm way off base but maybe u are not picking the best of times?

Anyway also remember don't give up on IC and MC. Time sure flies, and it seems to me your H has not acknowledged his faults... So it's a time bomb. If you can, don't settle for less. I know now is not the best of times for it... but keep that in your agenda as priority #???

Please take care on yourself and little dobie <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />