What is TOW? Anybody???

TOW = The Other Woman - there is a web site just for them - its disgusting for me to read in this site - so beware if u should visit this site -

I believe Way2 (correct if I am wrong) knows the link to this site -

Got it. Thanks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My advice - don't go there - it's like opening Pandora's box or Eve eating the apple.
DB

I agree. I went there yesterday for the first time and it made me sick.

sss

I wouldn't recommend a visit either, unless you want to make your soul sick.

TOW = what you need when your car breaks down. And the bill will definatly make you sick *yuk yuk yuk* <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Neb & Nebulous (from TOW) = Not the same? Nebulous on TOW is an Xmm on TOW.

STBOW mean anything Neb?

Hi all ...

I was so busy yesterday I only got to post once <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The TOW (The Other Women) site is linked through my web site -- under MB Spin Offs and Other Infidelity Boards.

DO NOT go there if you are still really emotional or not strong enough in your recovery. It is a very sad and fustrating place filled with people who believe you the BS is a bitter person and that they experience a "PURE" love with the WS. (even though the TOW board has an article linked to it that disputes that idea. I linked to in Recovery. )

For a while there, maybe 12 hours, the TOW site featured an altered logo. Usually the logo has a couple in gray and and another women standing a little distance from the man and she's in pink. The altered Halloween logo had the BW as a witch, the WH as a devil and the OW as an Angel. It's not there now .. but I was on the board when the change took place for the few hours that it was up.

Me thinks it was taken down because too many OW objected to their MM as being portrayed as a devil. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Those active on the TOW board would like WS to come and learn ... things I've learned is how sad, delusional and narcissistic people can be. I have caught myself thinking when reading many posts, "Hmmmm, that's why the pysch profession says xyz" Many of these people need help, they don't strike me as being bad/evil so much as so totally lost in their own self and selfishness as to present with a mental illness -- narcissism being the biggest one.

(OPs don't take heart -- I haven't changed my thinking .. a BS can vent and see you as horrible/evil and dump more on you than their WS so that they can survive, work and save their marriage. The is a psych. princple involved -- and I used it and encourage it's use.)

Very few display any values I'd want to see in my children. Though on the "ending" board there does seem to be hope.

My views have not changed since I posted here in September page 4 and page 5

Oh and if you post there.. please be aware that Emerald and MaeWest will censor you and your post if they feel it necessary. Esp. if they feel you are hurting the feelings of the OPs there.

<small>[ October 29, 2003, 11:15 AM: Message edited by: way2 ]</small>

bumped because i added info in the post above

<small>[ October 29, 2003, 11:06 AM: Message edited by: way2 ]</small>

Went there early in recovery...couldn't take it, went back later, learned just what way2 said plus how these relationships work. Very self centered people, no morals in general (not all). Followed stories for over a year, most relationships didn't work out or the MM is keeping them on the side. I needed to learn the natural history of affairs to recover and this helped a great deal. I left them alone because they are hurting too. No one gets off easy, some people ask for trouble and the BSs don't.

Well, if the BS throws WS out then sometimes they live together until the WS gets another woman or tow gets smart. Some marry...stats are against them, but they deny it to the death-really sad if you keep reading, kinda like an accident, you can't look away. I haven't followed the long term marriages, don't know if there are any, I think they move on by then. There is always an exception to rules.

They are a sad bunch too. No one really ends up happy, maybe just those who are married and recover. I feel that I am blessed and lucky that my H and I were able to grow. He sometimes says we should thank the OW for helping our marriage so much. Maybe he feels that way, but I don't. Well, maybe that little sex trick....only kidding! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

things I've learned is how sad, delusional and narcissistic people can be.

Only one term you forgot way2...hedonistic. And yes, Emerald will not only delete your posts, she will ban you completely. LOL..ask me how I know. Funny part is, she left the posts where I was just downright mean, but deleted the ones where I presented an intelligent argument against their self-destructive behavior. Some very sad people there indeed. What's worse, (one of my points that was deleted) is that some of the OP's there are actually (seemingly) decent caring people that are selling themselves short in being with a married person whom they know will never give themselves to them completely. Yet somehow they justify the hurt they are helping to place on the BS's. Many of them will tell you they feel no guilt for what they are doing. One of them even put up a lengty post about how monogamy is the reall evil in a M. Whatever helps them sleep at night I guess.

MTD

lol mtd -- I did forgot hedonistic

in my defense I have always felt that it was a part of narcissism

hmm you got banned <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
no I'm not surprised .. last week atleast 3 people were banned ... I had to laugh at how they complain about MB and other infidelity sites .. but I've only seen one person get banned here after being on here for almost a year.

And I very rarely have seen the moderators delete any posts -- hmm that happened the same time as that one person got banned.

Gosh I guess we are the evil censorers aren't we. lol

I said before that I didn't see TOW doing any good .. just a bunch of people perpetuating the sad, sick place that they are in (despite what some TOWers want you to believe) -- for them to leave it and get healthy defeats the purpose of the TOW board.

The fact that only your mean posts stay up (there by perpetuating the idea the BSs are just vindictive and bitter people) while your well thought out posts were deleted and banned ... well heck what does that say? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Emerald needs to sell her books, I guess.

way2

<small>[ October 29, 2003, 01:14 PM: Message edited by: way2 ]</small>

I have noticedt there are a few BS's there. But they are the ones who maintane the "It's all my fualt cuz I'm a horrible spouse and they deserve to have the OP" attitude. They seem to be very welcome <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . I do believe there is a lot of perpetuating going on there. After all, my calling them hedonists is just an example of my bitterness isn't it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . LOL

MTD

BTW...has anyone ever heard of/visited the philanderes website..and we thought TOW/aka/GloryB.com was a sick site....

no I've never heard of them until today ... but went on the website when you mentioned it (now got a link on my website)...

Wow more sick puppies!

Wow, Way2. Just went to your website. Cool stuff. How long have had that site up? Got some great links there. Good that you warned everyone about the TOW and Philanderes sites. Nasty stuff over there. Don't know if I should despise or pitty those folks.

MTD

P.S. I clicked the link to the "bite me" post. That led to your webpage???LOL. Oh, and BTW...Okra???....YUCK!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

MTD said:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just went to your website. Cool stuff. How long have had that site up? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .. it's been up since July 2003

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I clicked the link to the "bite me" post. That led to your webpage???LOL. Oh, and BTW...Okra???....YUCK!!!!!!!!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But did you print out a BITE ME sign? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

OH and BTW .. Okra, good!
turnips, bad! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

way2

<small>[ October 29, 2003, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: way2 ]</small>

Yea-it's a discussion board, but if you don't agree with what they say they banish you. It is like an affair, a fantasy website that gives support to women living in a fantasy,

If you give a different opinon they banish you. They won't let you post on OW/OM because they just don't want to hear any other opinion or the truth...again, keeping the fantasy. They just can't handle the truth so they hide in a closed forum where people tell them what they want to hear, not the truth-sad. The truth comes out though and over time they figure it out.

Again, I don't mean to generalize, some of them are very sincere, young and in over their heads. Growing up is painful.

Uhm excuse me folks but you all are really generalizing about TOW and it's members. First of all if you have an opinion that does not fall in line with theirs, you will NOT get banned. They have members who are perfectly capable of having a stimulating dialogue on any wide array of topics. Just like this forum is meant for the BS primarily and posts aimed at insulting us will be censored, that forum is for them. I post over there occasionally and I DO NOT have the "it's all my fault" attitude.

<small>[ February 08, 2004, 01:10 AM: Message edited by: Lovely ]</small>

Hi DG,

Yes I know there are people who post both there and here. There are people who post here and on other infidelity boards too (sometimes the exact same post -- lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

I have spent over a week there lurking and reading TOW. I never made a 100% statement that TOW doesn't help people, I just don't think it helps the majority of people there.

During my 7+ days there I have read about 2 to 3 pages of threads on General, 1 page of threads on Endings, the entire Surviving Divorce board --- and then there is is OW/OM Only board -- well since I'm not one of those . . .

Look I went in as asked .. with an open mind ... as I said I don't see the majority of these people as evil people... but I saw more support for wallowing and staying in that place.... I even saw bitterness/hatered to the BW, but no one would call the OW on it ... we get called on bitterness toward OW/OM all the time.

I did not say ALL .. I did say many or most .. that's based on what "I" saw and read.

Actually the TOW site did help me recognize what MM was telling MissLilly .. so some good has come of my hanging around there.

way2

<small>[ October 30, 2003, 10:15 AM: Message edited by: way2 ]</small>