"J" Sorry for the delay but here are the answers to your questions.
...Am I correct in reading that it's been nearly two years since D-Day for you?
Yes, it has been almost 2 years since D-Day.
...Would you give us a little information about what's happened since then?
Well...2 Psychologists, 1 Psychiatrist, 1 Kind Stranger (Wolf) and 1 MC. Found second psychologist/MC at the same time I stumbled onto Dr Harley's series. Early on struggled with suicidal thoughts, gallons of tears, months of sleepless nights, feelings of worthlessness and not being "right" for my WS.
WS has had NC with OM since May '02. She has been a model wife since the Affair. Problem appears to be all mine. I still feel "ugly" and like I'm second prize. I feel WS is making the best of it with me. I feel that while I may be her best friend, she has never had any "romantic" love for me, only for OM.
... What have you done so far to try to repair your marriage?
Counseling, talking, loads of face time, cosmetic surgery, weight loss, weight training, travel, gifts. All have left me still feeling like I'm still not as good as OM for WS.
Before Affair, I felt a high level of security and contentment in our marriage, like we were the perfect match for each other. Now, security has been replaced with the feeling of pity and duty on the part of WS.
Now, onto WhyMe's question
Yes, my wife and I met when I was 15 and she was 22.
My response to Yosh's comments..."IMO if your wife is not remorseful and not working her butt off to rebuild the marriage get rid of her and move on. Life is too short to stay in a marriage in which you feel like you are second best".
My WW has shown a great deal of remorse and has been working very hard. I don't know how she can stand to be around me. Before the affair, I was very strong and confident, now I am a pathetic depressed cadaver. There is no fire left in me, no joy or happiness just cold and lonliness.
