My husband had an affair. We are together and working on our marriage. I still feel like my heart just breaks and tears come to my eyes when I think of him having sex with her. Will I ever stop feeling like I could die at the thought of it? I feel like I can't always tell him how I am feeling. He gets really depressed and upset if I talk about it.

VeryDevastated -

You have come to the right place. We will support you.

The pastor at my church gave a great sermon about infidelity. In most cases, WS's don't plan to be unfaithful. They just neglect to "guard their heart".

Please read the "quick clicks" on the home page here about how an affair should end, overcoming resentment, restoring the marriage and reconciliation. I think they will really help you.

Of course you feel awful right now. But there is a lot of hope. The program here teaches you how to have a better marriage than ever.

Thank you to the both of you for your responses.

Believer,

Please pray for me. This has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. I am a Christian, and I love the Lord and my husband. There has just been so much hurt in this situation. My husband was a pastor of a church. I feel like my whole world has been torn apart. I don't know what I would do without the Lord.

Read the "quick clicks". You need to get more understanding of why this happened. Yes, it is horrible at first. But things can get better. Please believe that your marriage can be better than ever.

Has your H talked to anyone from your church? He needs to do that.

Two weeks ago I asked for prayers from the pastors at my church, for our marriage. One of them called me and I told him the whole sordid story. He told me to tell WH to call one of the pastors before he comes back to church.

I told my H this on Monday and H is mad at me. He says he needs the church right now. He needs some support, how could I do this to him, I'm trying to ruin him. Meanwhile he is still seeing OW. He is deep in the fog.

Your situation sounds much more promising.

VeryDevastated: It is perhaps one of the most painful experiences that a person can go through. Some people say that it is as painful as losing a child. You do not say much about your situation, but hang in there. The good thing is that your faith is still intact. In my case, I think I lost faith in everything, including myself. We both have been Christians for over 20 years. Seeing it happen in the church is devastating and it is worst when you have to go through it. When your spouse breaks the promises made to you at the altar and disrespects in the worst possible way, which is what adultery is, one sinks very low. Find a support system close to you.
I do not agree with telling others in the congregation, except your minister, if he is qualified to counsel. By no means should your H be teaching others. That may cause damage. Pray a lot and get ready for the roller-coaster ride of emotions.