Discovery Health channel has a new show about couples and their problems. It began tonight and happened to be about a H who is having an affair with a co worker and the W knows about it. They are taped in their house on how they interact and at the lab on how they discuss etc etc etc. Extremely interesting and the Drs who are married say they can predict 90 percent if a couple will stay together or not by the data they gather. I've seen a documentary before on this love lab but now it is a series.
The funny part was how pathetic I felt they both were at the beginning. The W was a mouse who allowed her H to flaunt OW in her face and the husband put all the blame on the W. But I began to realize they fit the mold and could be my H and I. W went through a metamorphisis just as many of us do, from shock to acceptance to independence. The H realized childhood issues are what made him feel if he committed he might get hurt.
The Dr's observances were right on the mark and their recommendation was that the H needed NC because trust cannot be built without commitment and without trust their is no relationship. The Dr told the H that NC would be like jumping off a cliff, extremely painful but he would not have anything without it.
In the end the W gave the H a date for NC and he wouldn't do it and when she kicked him out he said he had to go to the ow's because it was so sudden lol. According to the drs observations H was scared to death to lose W and didn't really think she would leave him. In the end she divorced him and then ow left him. The wife said "he chipped away at my trust until there was nothing left, he was always protecting ow yet I am his wife". Gosh it was painful to watch, but true. I really wish I'd taped it so H could watch it, it made me realize what I looked like and would probably make H realize what he looks like.

I found the listing on disocvery.com. The last showing was at 1pm EST today, so I missed it. Here's the link:

The Love Lab TV show listing

Thanks for the info. Looks interesting. If anyone else knows of another showing, please let me know.

Mahalo,
L.

I saw the latter half of the show - it was very good - and the H's FOO issues were similar to my FWH's, so I was really interested in it.

The "Love Lab" is in Seattle, WA and is run by the Gottman Institute, which was founded by married doctors John & Julie Gottman, who were seen on the show.

They have written the following books, as well as others and I have read two of them and would reccommend them highly to others:

- The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work
- Why Marriages Succeed or Fail... And How You Can Make Yours Last
- When Men Batter Women: New Insights into Ending Abusive Relationships
- Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting
- The Relationship Cure

Other information regarding their work can be found on their website:
http://www.gottman.com/about/

My H was in the room watching the show with me, but did not say a word - but I know he heard what they told the WH and I hope he took away something from it as well. They were right on target - for that couple as well as for us.


Take Care,
Shelle