How long AFTER d-day did the affair continue?

Very interesting, Chris! Thank you for posting this. I am curious as to the average data after you have more than 3 responses. Do you suspect a particular pattern after all your years on these boards?

SS

Chris - curiosity or you have a hypothesis?

I answered that my XW's affair is still in progress, although some creative thinkers might reason that it ended when she married OM. Of course to her, it was never an affair to begin with. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

WAT

Just found out this weekend it continued during a time we were trying to work on our M. I had felt guilty all this time for asking him to leave because he was so cranky and not willing to work, now I know why...

Another post got me thinking about this.
I answered that my XW's affair is still in progress, although some creative thinkers might reason that it ended when she married OM.
I'd agree it's still an "ongoing affair", as is my ex's, even though we are divorced.

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 11:05 AM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Chris,
My hypothesis (based upon my experience here at MB as well as my various readings) is that the marriages that do end in divorce have a larger percentage in which the female is the WS and the male is the betrayed spouse.

Can you revise the poll to ask if a divorce was complete was the W or H the wayward spouse. Just an idea.

cwmac

I answered that the adultery is still ongoing(less than 2 years) and that I,the BS has filed for a D.Or rather I am initiating the D proceddings by filling out the paperwork and my WH agrees,he says it's over now.I know he feels better that I have made the move but I had no other choice but to continue on in despair with him cheating on me.I can't take it anymore.

I need to be able to sleep again and find some peace somewhere,it's not with him and he is stubborn and determined to keep on committing adultery to the detriment of us all.

o

Can't revise a poll once it is posted. I'll put up another one.

Do you think that most times after dday, that the A will continue? It would be sort of magical thinking to suppose that it would just stop when we discovered it, and even takes time after exposure to get an end to the devil!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you think that most times after dday, that the A will continue? It would be sort of magical thinking to suppose that it would just stop when we discovered it, and even takes time after exposure to get an end to the devil! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mine ended immediately upon exposure.

I think the poll results indicate that it either ends immediately or soon thereafter in most cases.

Low

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by StillHereMakingIt:
<strong> Just found out this weekend it continued during a time we were trying to work on our M. I had felt guilty all this time for asking him to leave because he was so cranky and not willing to work, now I know why... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I also found out AFTER I kicked my WH out of the house that he was still in his A. He was not willing to work either and I just thought he needed more time...but I was so frustrated about his "waffling" that I needed some peace. all along he was still fence sitting <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> But he is home now and the affair has ended.

Here's another option for future polls:
Affair ended BEFORE D-Day

That's what happened in my case. Three years ago, FWH confessed first two affairs. October of 2003, he confessed last summer's affair. And in all cases, NC was already firmly in place before I even knew about the OW.

Scary, huh?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

BH03

is the poll for people that are either in recovery or are divorced? just want to make sure i am able to participate. in other words, if the WS is still in the A and the BS still wants the M, do you want us to vote?

Yes please, all vote, regardless of situation.

Interesting (and encouraging) results, Chris.

I answered that the A ended 0-3 months after DDay; the lovey-dovey stuff was over by then, I'm pretty sure, but occasional argumentative contact continued longer.

Lucky for me once she started LBing, she was a real pro!

I think cw made an interesting observation; I believe the affair does have a proclivity to continue upon being discovered if the wife is the one in an A. Mainly, I believe that a OM is more supportive of her not going back than the OW. There are many other reasons I believe the WW has a tendency to remain in the affair, but that is just one.

My wife remained in her affair and is still in her affair. He is all she has as she has turned her back on the entire family, but subsequently, right now he is all she needs. He takes care of her. He is willing to take care of her. Many women will not be willing to take care of a WH nor will they need to. Also, I think many times the WH is out there just for the sex and oftentimes are really not in love with the OW. It is easier for reality to set in with a WH in an affair. For the WW however, I believe (this is only my belief) that she feels more love when it comes to the OM; she feels as though she has found her soulmate. It becomes more difficult for reality to set in. She ups and leaves her family for the love of her life and no can tell her otherwise. For reality to set in, I don't know how long it will take, but from what I see, more than a year.

just my opinion

I'm confused on the poll....

My WW has had so many affairs, I don't know where to start.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> or <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> ...hmmmm!

Nothing like a little self-deprecating humor every now and again, huh?

Remind me what I'm hanging onto again......