Has anyone here done this and how is it going?

Jeff:

For me the answer is an unequivical NO !

Not even with Green Eggs and Ham.

The reason is simple...after my wife had three affairs (we have two sons, and yes they are ours together) realized that I had been in WD much of our marriage. After all of the attempts to put it back together, I realized that this is just the way she is..and there just had to be a better way to live.

I have thought about this since I am on my way to a D.I honestly do not know.Right now I would say no way but never say never.

My WH would have to basically be a different person.Right now I find him to be very selfish,uncaring,hurtful,thoughtless,sick and many more undesirable characteristics.I guess I would have to cross that road when I come to it.

But for now,I plan on being alone for quite some time to heal and then if I do find someone that interests me,I make take that leap.Sometimes I find myself looking forward to finding someone that will treat me the way I have always deserved to be treated.I have asked so very little of my WH over all these years that I think I short changed myself a great deal.Now I will not settle for less than all I want.

O

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

I am still M and have not filed, but am possibly heading that direction if things don't change.

I would say that even if a D was final, if I were still 'unattached' and if the WS showed true remorse and a changed heart and truly wanted to be married again and was willing to do the work it took to ensure the same thing didn't happen again, I would be open to the possibility.

LL

dj,

Probably in the next reincarnation and I don't believe in reincarnation <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .

You might want to page hopeful_person, she is FWS and her exH is taking her back and they are in rebuilding.

The question that you will face is "would I be happy and be able to rebuild the R w/ ex ?."

You have not Dv yet, you have not test the dating world ... Focus on you & your kids ... there will be a time that you will say "no way, Jose". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-rh-

RH,
I'm leaning real hard toward "no way Jose" now. I know one should never say never but hmmmmmmmm I don't think so.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Would you take your WS back after the divoce is final?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You mean her divorce to OM?

Are you kidding?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Nope

As long as I'm still his wife, I feel an obligation to be open to reconciliation, to help him overcome his problems.

If he goes through with the divorce, I'm free from all such obligations.

We have been separated for over 2 years, this was his 7th affair (just counting the ones I found out about), and this will be his 2nd divorce. Our 3 daughters think he's a total jerk - 2 don't even speak to him anymore and the 3rd only agrees to visitation with him off and on (sometimes going weeks on end refusing to speak to him and saying she doesn't have a dad anymore).

When the divorce is final the OW and in-laws can be his family, try to help him...

I will start dating (gradually) and remarry.
I will continue Plan B with EX-WH for the rest of my life. Not that I wouldn't forgive him - already have (he rejected my forgiveness as he claims he and OW didn't do anything wrong... EVERYTHING was supposedly totally MY fault...) I just see no reason to keep in contact with him.
I've already lost him and now he will lose me. There will be no "we" or "us" baloney anymore.

<small>[ May 26, 2004, 08:41 AM: Message edited by: meremortal ]</small>

A big NO!!! NO! NO! NO!
See this pair of scissors? Cut! cut! cut! Happily cut him out of my life. Why do I want a fink back in my life?

Now if he comes back as umm, a scottish terrier or big purry [censored] cat, MAYBE!!!!

Unfortunately, I ain't divorced yet. Just dreaming of it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If my H was remorseful, probably, but its according where I am in my life. We are only separated and haven't mentioned divorce.

I've been having this dream lately.

I move on, met a wonderful man, we have a great life together, we get married and I even have a baby. Then one day my WH comes to the door and begs me to come back to him, he realized what I said was true about the OW and he totally sorry and wants to get back together.

I'm torn--I know my WH has my heart but the man who took my pain away, I truly care about and I don't want him to suffer the pain, that I once felt when my WH left me. How could I do that to someone I care about? Then I wake up, I never make the choice in the dream.

That is my biggest fear, moving on and giving up on man I still love. Maybe that is why the percentage of remarrying your ex is greater than marrying the one you had the A with.

Maybe we give up to easy or in some states you can get a divorce right away. I know the state I am in, its a year and half. The OW's state (which is only a few minutes away) is six months. Her divorce should be final soon.

Maybe we rush into things we are not ready to get out yet.

uhhhhhhh.....i would have to say yes. Not popular but the truth. My lovely W and I were heading that way or she was. I didn't want a divorce and told her that I would be there for her as her husband for as long as I could even if we divorced.

If any of us would take them back after an affair or affairs why not after a divorce?

Call me romantic....or stupid. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />