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#1141875 05/31/04 04:09 PM
Joined: May 2004
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Have any of you told your WS about the MB message board?

And... Please are there any success stories here. I feel like I'm in a horror show!

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Yes, several have and it has worked well when they were in recovery. It hasn't worked well AT ALL when the WS is still seeing the OP. This should be a sanctuary for the BS where he/she can come and get help in ending the affair. If the WS comes here, that can't be done.

We have had a few situations recently where the BS had brought the WS here and ended up LEAVING this forum because it was counterproductive for the WS to read their posts.

So, if you do bring your WS here, just make sure you are well into recovery lest it blow up in your face.

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I think it all depends on the WS. If the WS has the type of personality that refuses to accept advice and continues to act in ways that are hurtful and negative, it is not useful. If the WS is humble or has really opened up to recognize his or her flaws, then the suggestions made here could help.

Everyone is different and what works for some does not work for others or viceversa.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
<strong> We have had a few situations recently where the BS had brought the WS here and ended up LEAVING this forum because it was counterproductive for the WS to read their posts.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Unfortunately, this would be me...I used this board as my safe haven...when we went into what I thought was recovery I showed my WH this board in hopes that he would use it as I did. Well, he abused his privleges and lied to everyone. He was still in the A the whole time. When I went into Plan B, I had to leave the board and post elsewhere. I am staring to come back here, but am still not very comfortable posting on my own threads.

Yes, we are TRYING very hard to be a success story. My H does know about this board, but he said he will post when he is further into recovery. I think he is ashamed of himself from before.

dont push the WS to do anything they do not want. And if you are not into recovery, then dont show them the board, this board should be some place you can come as a safe haven and vent all you want to US...NOT to WS. HTH

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I told my FWW, she lurked for awhile. It may have helped her to read some of my threads. I gave her links to some of the threads I thought might help her and got a message, "please don't send me anymore threads. I'll use it as I see fit." I take that to mean, she's not really using it much any more. It has definitely helped me to understand things, still difficult to deal with though (that's the roller coaster for you). Good luck!


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