OM calls W and/or sends text messages to her all the time. OM says how he loves her and wants her and so on-(excuse me while I puke). Much of this she has hidden from me which of course doesn't help us. I honestly do not think she is with him but I have told her that she has to be honest with me about all of this. Anyway, this weekend things got a bit interesting. OM actually had the nerve to phone my mobile. It was about 11:30 at night. I didn't get it in time and when checked it my W asked who it was and I told her OM. He then called right back. I was going to pick it up but W said she didn't want us to get into fight so I didn't. She said she would call him. I said not to give him time of day but she did anyway. I guess it is better that I was able to be there. She called him and asked what the hell he was doing and for him just to forget about it and that he was selfish and only thought of himself. She then hung up. A few minutes later he sent message to W that he was coming. What nerve. Apparently he was quite drunk(a favorite pastime of his). He never did show up which is good. I didn't want a scene with our daughters sleeping. We went to bed and there was a message from OM saying he was sorry and he just hurt so bad and he loved my W and wanted her(again excuse me while I puke). Anyway it seems he contacts her all the time. She said he called last week to say he was going to kill himself and she ended up hanging up on him and wasn't answering his calls anymore last week so that is why he tried to contact me. I told her that was the best thing for her not to answer OM calls. He can call me all he wants. Anyway, how do you deal with OM who won't take no for an answer? Should I call him or what?

Staggered, I think the first step must be to make it as difficult as possible for OM to contact your W. Change phone numbers, e-mail address etc. Let your W send him a NC letter (signed by both of you) telling him that if he persist, a restraining order will be get against him. If the OM is married, tell his W about the A.

Good luck,
Suzet

Hello,

I agree with Suzet. In addition, you should contemplate a restraining order. It is simply ridiculous what is going on. No contact means no contact. Get a restraining order and throw him in jail.

I agree with both of you it does need to be made more difficult for OM to contact. Unfortunately my W contacted OM with her new phone so he got number. I would love to get a restraining order but I am living in Europe and not quite sure how that works here.

Has your W sent a NC letter? Doesn't sound like it.

The OM sounds like a troublesome child who wants any kind of attention. He no longer gets posative attention so he's now getting negative attention by being a "bad boy." Your W is not helping by calling him to "yell" at him. That's what he wants. Same with the suicide threats.

No Contact means NO CONTACT! That goes for you as well as FWW.

Don't answer his calls. Change yours and wifes numbers again if need be. Maybe W won't be weak this time and give him the new number.

cwmac

<small>[ June 08, 2004, 08:07 AM: Message edited by: cwmac ]</small>

Again, I agree. To give more info. My W used to work w/OM until the company went under. OM lost his job but W still does work for OM former boss. OM former boss(FB) was taking company failing very hard. My W thought he might kill himself. One evening W was leaving and thought FB shouldnt be left alone for this reason. So she called OM(with new phone) since OM and FB are very close friends. So he now has new number. My W has not sent NC letter. I have asked her not to have contact with OM but don't now how to get her to send NC letter or if she would.

Will check in later!!! Thanks!!!