“In love” is the same as infatuation and a chemical response to attraction we experience as a feeling of love. If a relationship progresses, the chemicals that cause the initial feelings of ‘in love’ eventually 'dry up', and if the relationship is to continue, then another kind of love takes it's place: A committed, stable affection that can grow deeper (hopefully) throughout the years. This is the real glue that holds a relationship together for the long term. And it's based on trust, truth and respect (among other things). So, in my opinion “in love” feelings is just temporary and characterizes the “honeymoon” stage of a relationship. If the relationship is to continue a more stable & mature love will take it’s place. So IMO, if a S says: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” it means exactly that (as I’ve described above), but often a WS in the FOG confuses and compare their “in love” feelings for the OP with the “mature” love they have for their BS. So, in reality a WS really then compare and cofuse immature “puppy” love (you usually find in the beginning of a relationship), with the real, mature love you can only find in a long, lasting relationship (like a marriage).

I love you, but right now my brain is so consumed by OP, and I have such bliss thinking of them, I must be In L with OP, and therefore just love you because I'm over joyed with the feelings for OP, and it has cast such a shadow on the feelings I feel towards you, so I must not be IN L with you.

I feel an abundance of emotion from the build up of constant flattery from OP, and I have put you in a place to only LB, for my justification of my A.

so therefore, I'm lost in my own mind, I have confused myself to the point I only Love you, like you are a fond memory, something of the past, something I once held dear and close, because the OP is my now my future.

The feelings are so strong for OP, they seem so real, they over ride the everyday feelings of IN love that I felt for you.

I'm now IN love with OP, and how can you be IN love with 2 people????

This post is feelings I have reflected back on, to try and give you all some insight. Yes, I realize how sick and wrong they are. I apologize to all of you that this hurts.

The WS, has a very messed up way of thinking.

MB Love,
KY-4

The second clue I got that we had a problem wasn't exactly ILYBINILWY but "I'm not happy and I want us to get a divorce." The first clue was "I moved out." My first question was "Is there someone else?". She denied. Ooooooo, people burn in hell for lying. My oldest DS asked me last night if WW broke up w/ OM and wanted to get back together, would I do it. Told him I really didn't know. He said he wouldn't blame me if we didn't after all she has done to me. He's 9.