This week my H went to a prominent hospital to get one of those fancy smancy physicals that insurance doesn't pay for, you know were they prod and poke everything along with cat scans and psych time. He just turned 45 and both his parents died at 48 he feels he's a walking time bomb.lol.
Anyway part of the physical was an hour evaluation with a psych dr. She explained to him how our primal brain works during times of stress. I'm sure many of you have heard about it from psych 101 the "flight or fight" response. Anyway she explained how everything in H life was going wacko, stress in his business, his age and fear of dying, loss of control, law suits from people he trusted etc etc led him to "flight" to OW as a way out per se. Even though he has been going to a C this explanation seemed to click with him. She told him she is surprised that he stayed at all as most in that predictament go all the way and fly far away only to realize that they made a mistake after it was too late.
So don't know if it helps anyone else but like I said it clarified things for H and I think it also let him take some of the blame off himself. It helped me to understand also how he could do this deep down even though I know alot of issues were with us and alot with himself.