Two years ago, I wanted to build a treehouse for D. Two years ago, my husband thought the idea was "dumb". "D will never use it."

This year, the treehouse has been built. Suddenly, my H thought it was a good idea. However, he said, "do you know how hard it is for me to be at the house building it..." I guess when you feel nothing, it must be very hard.

D is now starting to blame me for H's departure. "Ask him to come back, Mommy." "If you kiss Daddy, he'll want to come back." "You never do anything right, Mommy."

The fun begins.

<small>[ August 04, 2004, 04:49 AM: Message edited by: Broken Vessell ]</small>

Terrified - when he said do you know how hard it is for me to be at the house to build it -- you should have said - No , Why don't you tell me how hard it is ??? Opened the door of communication?? As for your daughter - well I am sure that she really doesn't blame you she is just young.... Talk to your ex about it -you two have to do something - you have to make a decision whether to try or end it - you cannot live in limbo land forever... I am thinking....

I am EXTREMELY concerned about your daughter's comment to you, saying that you "never do anything right". <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Is that something YOU have taught her?

Or is that something that your H has taught her?

Either way, it is INEXCUSABLE!!! If my 5 yr old said that to me, he'd have one heck of a "talking to", about what's nice and not nice to say, and how talking back like that to adults is punishable by time out and a full apology.

Karen

(((Terrified)))
Just a hug.

Dear T,

Glad your D got her tree house. Sorry to hear that the WS still has his head in the wrong direction. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

As for you daughter's comments, well she has been dealing with this a long time and her frustrations would eventually show. You encourage her to share her feelings and well now your have her insight.

Aren't you glad you have her insight so you know how to work with it? It isn't always going to be easy but know how to put the positve spin on it.

As for her suggestion, it may be time to show her how 'unloving daddy really is towards mommy.' You never know what her tender ears are being filled with when she is with him. It c/b enough to turn her against you. She is vulnerable.

I don't want to scare you but maybe it's time to do a bit of plan A and let her see you be 'nice to daddy'. Then let her witness his reaction. Remember she seems to think you are the one doing bad. Right?

As for him taking 2 years to reach your same conclusion, well you do realize that logic travels very slowly in the fog. LOL!!! So his current timeframe is 2 years. You'd better start asking him to fund her college education now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


JMHO,
L.

<small>[ June 21, 2004, 10:45 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>