Hi Sprezz, it's me.
Saw that you're almost in Plan B. Here's my latest. I think I was first plan b, last we spoke. WH cracked after about a week. Said he wanted to come back and work on marriage, but needed to time to "unattach" to OW. "Know that I love you and want us together to work on our marriage." Me: Does OW know this? WH: Well she knows something's up given last week (I had sent her plan b letter, per SAA). Didn't pan out. Went to Plan be again. Lasted three days. WH emails: I'm not seeing OW anymore. Broke it off. No contact. Told her I need to go back to my family and fix what I broke. I am 100% sure that I want to focus 100% on you. I am alone. OW has gone out of town for the week" (this should have been a red flag)
So we meet later that night at a movie for the family (already planned). By that evening he was already depressed, withdraw. We talk a little and he says he wants to take it slow. I say it will be very hard at first, but we need to use these first few weeks to establish trust. He goes back to his own apartment.
Next night comes over for family dinner. I ask if any contact. He says no and mutters "this is ridiculous" (I think he is referring to the feelings that he still had for OW that he thought would magically go away). He's says later that night that he doesn't think he wants to come back. It's been too long since he had any feelings for me. I say, you need to give it time. There will be withdrawals. He says "i'm not addicting. I'm not a drug addict!" He says: I have been working on it (marriage) when we were married and after. I say: Umm, we are still married. He: I mean after the break up (break up!! are we in HS?)
Says he's looking at the big picture, how he has been emotional detached from me for so long. (apparently "big picture" doesn't include our decision to have kids, life together, etc.) Says it has nothing to do with OW! (really??)
I said you need to find in your heart to fight for us. He said he is digging hard. Hmmm. Said he wants to stay at his place Friday night to read book I gave him (The case against divorce--found it before MB). Double hmmmm. WH never reads and probably wont. WH said: "I'll be over Sat. am" Seems he misses me when I'm not around, and her when she's not around.
So, back to Plan B for me. Don't think I'll be here on Sat. Packing up the kids and going to my sister's for the weekend. Leaving a note on the door: We're gone. She's in the next town and has a big house that fits all of us (very nice for kids and me). My mom will be there and other family too.
So I sit and wonder...will WH call today? Will he show up tomorrow or leave some message tonight that he will not be over tomorrow? If he sees note, will he try to contact me or run to OW (I'm guessing she's at some beach within 2-4 hours).
OW won't put up with this for too long as is. Doesn't like spending only every other weekend with WH. Kids have spent a total of 2 weekends with WH and I insist that they have no contact with OW. But she's smart. I bet she starts to see someone else quickly to make WH jealous. He an idiot (in the nicest sense of the term)--wants what he can't have
WH big problem: To choose between "what I have now, or the risk of working on my marriage and it not working". Isn't he a fighter?
