This topic is for the discussion of the book Breaking Free by Beth Moore.

Anyone who is interested in welcomed to join in. I've never actually led a book discussion, cant say i have even participated in a book discussion so i'm not exactly sure how this is going to work.

I plan to comment on the introduction as well as part I (22 pages in all) next week.

I very much liked the prayer found at the end of the introduction and would like to include it here: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Oh God, as we begin this journey, our hearts are so full of anticipation. God, we want to be different. We invite You to do a work in us that we cannot even explain. We dedicate this study entirely to You. We pray, Father, that we will not raise up a hand to hinder or stop You, because sometimes the truth is going to hurt. We know, God, that You desire to have the fullness of our lives so You can cause us to live in the victory Your Son died for us to have. Now, God, we humble ourselves before You, and we ask You to do a mighty work in us and through us, so we can proclaim Your name for the rest of our lives. You alone are God. There is no other Savior. Thank You in advance, Lord, for everything You're going to do. We give You every bit of the glory. In Jesus'name, Amen. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

<small>[ August 13, 2004, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: FinallyLearning ]</small>

"sometimes the trust is going to hurt"

very profound

Pep

ok, did i type to fast??? it is supposed to say sometimes the truth is going to hurt!!

Oh my gosh! I just finished that Bible study!!! I did it independently. It was absolutely fantastic. Oh, how I grew! I did it every day this summer. It became a need of mine. You will feel so wonderful when you are finished, but you will miss it too!

FinallyLearning -

Hi. Just wanted to let you know that I mean to buy this book really soon, and I want to participate in a discussion. Maybe some more people will become interested as well!

Later -

Rose55

wontgiveupyet,

thanks for sharing, glad to hear the book was good for you. feel free to participate in the discussion here.

rose,

great!!! i hope you get it this weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

FL,
I'm in. What do you think about the memorization. I will start today. I know this will be geared for the ladies, but I learned alot from the reading and it gave me more insight to how women think. Thanks for your conviction and response to God's calling.
Roman

i have started the memorization...

The Spirt of the Sovereign Lord is upon me
because the Lord has annointed me
to preach the good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind the brokenhearted,
proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners.

I think that is right...

I'm torn about this verse. Seems like I actually need someone to preach to me and bind up my broken heart... not the other way around! but i am not going to focus on that right now, i'm just going on faith.

I read part one a few times over the weekend, looked up the majority of the verses. I am typically not one to care much about history, it was one of my least favorite subjects. That was my initial thought as i read this but again i decided to not "raise up a hand to hinder or stop Him" as the initial pray stated, instead i read it over many times and really tried to let the information seep in.

curious as to anyone else's thoughts/feelings as they read it.

(roman, I'm not sure why you think this will be geared more towards woman...)

sorry this note is so choppy, hectic day!!! have to go home now. have to turn over the baby squirell over to someone who can really care for him. (we found him sat morning, very young, eyes still shut, was able to get him to take some liquid but unable to really raise him until he can be introduced back into the wild!! luckily there are re-hab centers that are willing to take him)

FL -

I bought the book yesterday and have read the dedication, acknowledgment, and first page of the Preface about 3 times...sorry, I intend to get focused and read through Part I tonight. I'm starting on new anti-d's, and hopefully I'll be able to concentrate again soon! Sheeesh.

Rose55

Rose, no need to apologize!! i am thrilled you got the book and have started <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

i can really relate about the difficulty concentrating. i have a Dr appt tommorow, trying to figure out exactly how i am going to get the nerve to talk about needing meds <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

FL -

I'm on Pacific time, it's early morning here, so I don't know if you've been to the Dr or not yet, but the best way to get what you need is just to be honest. Dr's have to keep the info confidential. If you don't feel comfortable talking to one Dr, find another one!

A psychiatrist or therapist might be more helpful when discussing anti-d's or anti-anxiety meds. It depends on the Dr, of course, but my gynecologist (first Dr I talked to about my A because I wanted to talk about std's) told me just to take Benedryl. I understand that it makes people sleepy, and some people use it effectively, but I was suicidal and on the ceiling - needed a little something more!

I've read/heard the suggestion that general practitioners are likely just to give you whatever samples they have on hand. I'm sure it just depends on the experience and attitude of each Dr. (My dad was an M.D., so I'm not trying to badmouth Dr's, I'm just stating what happened to me, and what I've heard.)

ANYHOW, I hope all goes well at your appt.

Back to the book - so far, I haven't been able to memorize more than "The," but I'll keep trying. I really think memorizing scripture is a good idea. They can be comforting when called to mind during a crisis, but can't be called to mind if they're not in our minds! It also helps to be able to emphasize a point sometimes in a conversation.

The main thing I've read that stood out the most so far is in the introduction. Beth writes, "We're going to learn to be victorious by surrendering our lives to the Spirit of God, not by gritting our teeth and trying harder" (6).

That's the definition I adopted for "faith" years ago, and something that has really been impressed upon me the past 2 years since d-day. (I just realized that d-day was exactly 2 years ago today!) The only way I was able to begin to calm down and begin to feel safe was when I gave up and surrendered all to God.

The example on page 15 about God healing Hezekiah with medical treatment brings us back to the topic of medication! I can dig it. LOL.

God bless,

Rose55

Hi Rose,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> If you don't feel comfortable talking to one Dr, find another one!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">problem is, I can't see me feeling comfortable with any dr!!! i am comfortable with my ob/gyn and she is aware of everything, i just didn't think i could go to her for meds.

my counsoler and i did talk about meds, she thinks it would be a good idea but she is not able to perscribe them. doesn't have the right credentials. i'm really not crazy about the concept of meds. actually, better stated, i very much dislike the idea of meds. but i dislike the idea of my inablity to stay stable impacting my H and kids even more.

i'm central time and the appt is not until 4pm.

back to the book...

unfortunately i don't have the book with me at the office. i may have to change if i plan on reading or posting while here.

i can't believe i missed the line you mentioned...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We're going to learn to be victorious by surrendering our lives to the Spirit of God, not by gritting our teeth and trying harder </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">what an impacting thought!! i really had been in the mode of going between convincing myself that i need to just grit my teeth and try harder and feeling so void of hope that i didn't care what actions i was doing just as long as i could feel ok some of the time. thanks for pointing that line out! staying calm and feeling safe is definitely what my life has been missing for so long.

congrats on the 2yr anniversary. do you feel recovered?

FL -

No, I don't feel recovered. Summer is hard for my H and me because of all the "anniversaries" of things connected with my A. Triggers and even some unrelated stress have set us back quite a bit in the past couple of months.

My H recently said that every day he thinks he can't do it (stay married to me) but also that every day he thinks he can do it. His rollercoaster is still in violent motion every day, whereas my rollercoaster has been rolling smoothly for weeks at a time, and then suddenly makes a large loop.

I've been doing very well for about a year, but recently I've found myself spiraling downward. That's why I went to IC this month and got back on meds.

Right after d-day, our pastor asked us to commit to the process of recovering, even if we couldn't commit to each other right away. We're still committed to the process.

I get mixed messages from my H as to whether he wants to commit to me completely. He is understandably afraid of being hurt again, but of course the mixed messages hurt and confuse me, and it goes on and on.

Yesterday we agreed that this is the first time we've both been "out of steam," which is unsettling. Usually one of us has at least a little strength for the battle when the other one feels like giving up.

When we talked about giving up yesterday, the thought panicked me a little, and I think I began to gather some more steam to keep on fighting. Anyway, today we're still together and haven't given up yet.

How did your appt go? My gynecologist did give me a little xanax one time for travel jitters (fear of flying).

As per the book: How many chapters are we going to read and discuss at a stretch?

Roman - are you still with us? Any comments?

Rose55

rose,

it is hard to read that after 2 yrs, your marriage is still having a hard time. when you say "We're still committed to the process" what is your process? do you guys spend a certain amount of time together each week? does it include recreation as well as deeper conversations? do you guys talk about what is it that needs to happen in order for the roller coaster to go away?? do you have some stretches of time that is just calm and nice?

i worry that we are not pro-actively doing "stuff". stuff being perhaps counsoling or reading books. i have 3 affair books as well as the five languages of love book. i have not picked up his needs, her needs but i have printed off the questionairs (although i have not followed thru on having us both fill them out).

i am the type of person that is generally more pro-active, at least at work i am. i can do that at work, i am very confident. but at home i am much more shakey so i don't want to risk rocking the boat. BUT i do think we are doing good, we are much better at communicating with each other on current issues that arise and we more likely than not are learning to work together to resolve those issues.

it is very good that you recognized you were spiroling downward and sought out help. good for you!!!!

my dr appt went ok. she is very nice. there was just so much to go over, my thyroid, my heart concerns (it has been having an irregular heart beat off and on), depression. she did a quick ekg, looked fine, is considering having me wear somethign for 24hrs to see if we can catch what is happening that way. also took blood to check my thyroid levels and ordered an ultrasound for it to monitor the size of the nodual. it was first found about 12 yrs ago and for a while we were watching it more closely. i have not had it checked for many years now. my mom had thyroid issues too. levels were always fine but had a growth on it that was slowly suffocating her, she had to have it removed. for that reason, i need to keep an eye on mine too. and she gave me zolof, but i didn't take it this morning. i really still hate the idea of taking meds. H was kind, said he didn't understand why but understood it was hard for me. i told him it is because taking them makes me think i am just like my mom (not a good thought!!!). i have counsoling today.

as for the book (seems like we are talking less about the book everytime!!!) i really don't know if we should just pick a number of chapters at a time, some are small, some are big, some go together, some don't. i think we just have to figure it out along the way. i guess i am about ready to move on to part II although i still have to finish memorizing the verse, i have not gotten any farther yet. we are going to our lake house tommorow afternoon until tuesday (i will be away from the computer while there) i expect i will have time during those days to read. do you have any thoughts on how much to read at a time? are you ready to move out of part 1? i've looked up the verses, i have taken my time to learn about each king's struggle and tried to reflect on it all.

did i mention i've never done this before??? so please don't think i know what i am doing!!!!

i'm sure roman will pop up sometime.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by FinallyLearning:
<strong> ok, did i type to fast??? it is supposed to say sometimes the truth is going to hurt!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"sometimes the TRUST is going to hurt"

is probably true.... especially if we trust humans too much.... that said, I think trust in your *higher power* is always safe (using the AA-speak right now) ... FL ... a sort of profound typo you made! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

"sometimes the truth is going to hurt"

often true. Then we have to look at our hurt, our reaction, and DO SOMETHING with it. make our hurt mean something. You know, Mom died last March. The truth hurts like hell. And the pain and hurt are teaching me something and it is up to me to remain open to the lesson of that hurtful truth.

But.... the opposite of being with the truth hurting is living a nothing existence.... One cannot live "the fullness" without experiencing that truth hurts.

You've come a long way baby <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Pep

Rose,
Since this is an open thread, I can use it to respond to you and encourage you at the same time. I have no clue as to why after 2 years your H is "unsure" on your future? I don't think it is trust that is holding him back. It is lack of commitment by both of you. The only way you can recover is when you are both committed to each other. God's design for M is not meeting needs. God's design is mutual submission to each other. If you want to recover, at least one of you must commit to the M and to submission.

Your question is why just one? B/c someone needs to be strong and remove thier pride. Someone needs to take the lead and say I will not let my pride destroy this M. The fact that you are both still holding on shows you have what it takes to survive. In Proverbs, it says "God hates pride". Also, it says "God hates divorce". If God hates somthing, you need to pay attention to it. I work on my pride issues every day. If we are not careful, our pride will falsely justify our poor choices.

I too struggle with fear and doubt. It is somthing we have to battle. Then I get to a point where I realize that I need to seek His will for my life and stop focusing on His will for my W. We take those fears to God and leave them there.

Let me encourage you that you can do this. You can go to your H and commit to him and your M. Tell him you are there for him and committed to him. If you don't "feel" it in your heart, thats okay. Your choices can and will lead your feelings. You may have to do this several times a day. When you get discouraged b/c you don't see results, go to God for your needs. God is looking for people who don't quit and come to Him when discouraged.

When you read Beth's book, she correctly identifies the downfalls of each of those kings. Please look at the list again and , if possible, see if your H will at least look at the list. If not, you need to be the one who removes those items from your life. The process you need to commit to is the changing of your life and walk. Leave his changes to God. You be the example he needs to see. I know you will gain more peace and satisfaction from doing that than you could ever imagine.

Christ's love,
Roman121

thanks pep.

hi roman,

pride was talked about in part 1 alot. it was the downfall of 2 of the kings, right? the first king mentioned (started with a U) and the last one. (i sure wish i had the book here!!!!)

the point is, i had (have) a hard time getting myself around the definition of pride. ok so it is not good to decide to burn incense if that is the role of the priest. but what was quouted as pride for the other king didn't make a lot of sense to me.

it took me a while to get the point of how one must not "legalize". i.e. decide that God loves me more now because i did this or i did that. but i did finally really get to a point of understanding. but i'm not so sure i can recoginize what is pride and what is not.

and here you are roman talking about how you are watchful for pride in yourself. how do you personally recognize pride?

the point being, i cannot guard against something i am not sure i understand.

FL,
I have my verses and am starting the memorization. The way to memorize is to work on it as we go forward in the book, but she does stress that it needs to be done. Think of it as a sword and shield. The word is the sword we use to slay the ememy. The enemy is threefold. First is Satan, second is the world and third is our own flesh. We need to slay all three. Then we have the shield of faith. Faith is our shield from the attack of the ememy. "A man who lacks faith(belief) is like a city without walls". In those days, cities were only as strong as the defensive wall around it. As we get into the book, Beth points out that our belief is key to our defense against the attack of the 3 enemies. As we are able to apply the Word (scripture) we exhibit and exercise our faith and can hold off and even defeat the enemies even in the worst circumstances.

I know you'll be away, but I will continue to monitor this thread. Let's see where the Lord takes this.

Christ's Love,
Roman

roman, did you miss the post i added right before your last one? i'm thinking you did so i'm bumping this up.