WW is still pursuing her own dreams and ambitions (basically the A) and not committing to fixing our M. I am now approaching 4th month of her not committing one way or the other. Other than on the odd occassion having said "I still love you and she wants to fix it" but not doing a single thing to fix it. I have been doing a "plan A" but find that this really isn't working and am pushing for plan B (separation). Sadly once she is out on her own for a while, I do not feel that I will want her back as I know what will be occuring.
1. Is it normal for a wife to want to go out with her friends every Friday Night and any other time she can to be away from us? We have never had this happen before as we did everything together. 2. If we did manage to overcome the A, she has indicated that this is part of her new lifestyle and she would expect me to accept this. Am I unreasonable to say that I cannot accept this?
Fast approaching the end of my tether...

B-trayed,

I can’t remember if I have read some of your previous posts… You said your W is pursuing her own dreams and ambitions (basically the A) and not committing to fixing your M in any way. You also said if you did manage to overcome the A, she has indicated that this is part of her new lifestyle and she would expect you to accept this... Does this mean your W is still in contact with the OP and continuing the A in spite of you following 'plan A'? If so, this can’t be accepted or tolerated AT ALL and then I can understand (and agree) that you need to go to plan B, but otherwise I’m not sure if this will be the right thing to do... I don't know all the background. I’m sure others will chime in soon to give you advice on this. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Is it normal for a wife to want to go out with her friends every Friday Night and any other time she can to be away from us? We have never had this happen before as we did everything together.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"></strong>
B-trayed, I don’t think this is normal…especially if this didn’t happen before and is an instant & radical change in your W’s behavior...

Last week I’ve said to someone I think it’s very important for a couple to spend quality time together and to spend most of their recreational time together, although it can also be a good & healthy thing for a relationship if the spouses sometimes spending time apart from each other with good same sex friends… Especially if there is much strain and stress in the relationship, I think it can help the spouses to ‘breath’ for a while and recharge their emotional batteries. However, I don’t think this is the case with your W and the motivation for her behaviour…

Spending some time apart and having outside interests can be a very good thing for the M and help to maintain balance in a M, as long as the spouses POJA on this and have a enthusiastic agreement with each other… Otherwise there will be resentment, LB’ing and feelings of rejection etc. Maybe you can try to discuss this with your W.

Blessings,
Suzet

Hi Suzet - yes she is still seeing OP, but not admitting to it. Apparently I am crazy and it's all in my head. Basically I have to piece together bit's of information after the fact which confirm my gut feelings and suspicions. This is very frustrating for me and I am really having trouble dealing with anger / jealousy as a result of the actions. I had to walk out of the house and go to a friends place last night after she came home all cheerie and happy from clandestine visit to OP otherwise I would have seriously LB'd.

Might be time to think about Plan B. I don't agree that married people of either sex should go to bars alone or with friends on a regular basis. There is just to much temptation, and plus drinking makes them more vulnerable to poor choices.