I have come to the conclusion that, for me, this is wrong. Thanks for your responses. I remain, redi2moveon.

<small>[ September 01, 2004, 09:21 AM: Message edited by: Redi2MoveOn ]</small>

Redi

though I dont know your story as new here myself, I have to ask why you would bother. I dont wonder why I think its self evident.

Are you sure you are really ready to divorce or have you just got fed up. I am sorta there myself but find I have great trouble letting it go when maybe we can reconcile. Well hope springs ever eternal as they say.

To be blunt, if you are going to divorce, unless it can provide some info which might affect child custody & M assets all it can do is give you more pain I would think. Probably would anyway.

Fully understand it though, I admit I would do the same most likely, its very hard not to throw things you learn back into the WW face sometimes.
However does it help you heal from all this?

Oh well that how it turns out sometimes I guess.

I hope you find something better in your future than the hurt & betrayal.

I was dealing with the same thing when my XW and I lived together for 4 months until the divorce papers were signed.

My advice is that you resist the temptation to look at anything like that. The sooner you learn to be indifferent, the better off you will be.

Redi,

I too have access to my all my STBXW mailboxes. I started during our very brief reconciliation. In just under 5 months I have close to 1200 emails logged( yeah do the math. It is an astounding number on a daily basis). I learned a couple of months ago that reading them was pure torture. Occasionally I still peak but it is always devastating to read. I will continue to log her until the D papers are signed. My attorney feels that there may be things in those emails that benefit me in the negotiating process, but he also recomends I not read them.

There should be no secrets in marriage. Snoop away but beware of what you may find. I snooped and found a LOT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Whatever you choose to do,snoop or not. Do not do what I did. I threw it all in WW's face once I found out. Bad, bad move. She ran straight into OM's arms and divorced me.
I wished I had known MB principles before this happened.
If you decide to look at e-mails, etc. take some time to digest the information you discover and do not make any rash decisions like I did.
Good Luck

If you already know about the A, what do you hope to learn by reading the e-mail? My home e-mail was not working and my step-father was over here trying to fix it. In doing so, by complete accident, he opened up WH's work e-mail account and I saw how he did it so I could have free access to read through everything. However, I have no desire to do so and quickly had Step-father close it. Nothing I would read would make me feel better, the only potential was for more pain.

If you do read the e-mails be prepared for what they may say and the pain that goes with it.