Lisa 1 0 3,
As always Hello! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Still kicking butt at your new job?
As too your situation, I'm curious. (what a shock)
I know that you come here and have used the MBer principles for yourself.
How involved is your H in using them? (a little, a lot, never, always)
Another couple of questions:
Has your H always been like this with you (ignoring or not getting "it") or is this a newer action?
Does your H treat OTHER people with this same attitude?
(ie, Does he ignore others as well, or do they actually get his attention and focus and only you get the disconnect part?)
Is this part of his overall personality or just a behavior that you notice concerning his dealings with YOU?
In any case, You ARE entitled to your feelings.
I would hope that if you were to share them with him (instead of hiding them) that your H would at least then be more aware of how he treats you.
Although sadly probably for only the short term. As he apparently doesn't think the same way as you.....he most likely will need "constant" and continued reminders in how to respect what you say and how you feel.
(If your married to someone like this....telling them over and over is just part of the bargain).
It can improve but only if HE wants it too.
That's his challenge, not yours.
If you get angry or hurt to the point of NOT reminding him....then you are closing off your intimacy and your hurt will make you pull back into yourself. Then once the connection is weakened, you are once again vulnerable to an A. (Or at the least a hallow unfullfilling M).
I would explain to him how important this area of YOUR life is too you and make him understand that this "need" being met is was a core reason for your A happening in the first place. Try to get him to see that you NEED this, and you want HIM to be the one to provide it for you.
Perhaps if he makes the connection that IF this is not met by him...it may be met by someone else........and I doubt he wants that to happen again.
Your not threatening, simply stating a fact of what did happen.
Sometimes that type of reminder, works much better at motivation then simply telling him how you feel.
When he makes the connection that how he treats you, ultimately comes back to affect him.....maybe he'll understand and connect those dots easier.
Please don't hide your true feelings and then Blame him and get bitter because you think he should read your mind and just "know".
That's not fair.
However, once you DO tell him how you feel, then the burden does shift back to him to do something different.
Any way, just some ramblings.
Guess I should let you answer my questions BEFORE going off on some "advice" vest, Huh?
Sorry you've hit a bump...but take care of it now before it becomes a Hill.
till next time, take care <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
<small>[ September 02, 2004, 08:12 AM: Message edited by: top rope ]</small>
