Tom Joad,

Your W is extremely funny. She cracked me up. Does she know how funny she is???

What a mess you are in, but at least you have raggy towels, and old sheets to clean it up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

A firemen, yeah, you'll be picked up like Pamela Anderson, in a Maximum security prison. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Nothing like a man in uniform, that goes for Pizza man, ice cream truck driving man, Godiva chocolate man, oh, sorry, day dreaming again.

Hey, they have those really sturdy plastic end tables, for patios, that might go nice with your living room furniture, they come in green or white. I think they will make the folding chairs POP!!!

Sorry Tom, feeling very bad for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
KY

Oh my...a job list for you to complete before she forces you out of your home and away from your children?....ummm...I hope you told her where she could store that list while she waits for the jobs to get done. Seriously, if it's not something for your kids, please don't even consider helping her out.

I know I have no room to throw stones as I've been just as foggy as any WS around,,,but her level of AUDACITY is amazing.
I agree with ky...funny girl that WW of yours... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

PS: the signature line was something i picked up while i was trying to withdrawal from the A. I hung out on a 'Ending Affair' support board for a while looking for help, and only found that most of the women (and a few men) there did a whole lot of whining about how they 'Just couldn't end it' or 'Just couldn't live without the OM/OW'...couldn't do this, couldn't do that, and most of them didn't really even want to hear what they HAD to do to end it for good (No Contact)...so I found that qoute and adopted it as my own (Not a DC original unfortunatly, but i didn't get the author either)...It was the last thing I posted on that board, I hope it made at least one person think about not what they 'couldn't' do....but what they have the power to do themselves.

Well, my lurking WW was upset by this post. I have to admit I was being mildly sarcastic and partially wishful thinking.

The actual list my WW gave me was the following:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Bookcase (I built it when I was 22 years old)

Big Speakers (as mentioned previously)

Christmas Tree Platform (4x6 sheet of plywood with train tracks)

Small Christmas Tree. (We have two artificial trees, the small one is the oldest)

Coffee Table (Scratched and wobbley, used on porch)

Blue Couch (commonly reffered to as moldy couch)

Wood valence (a decorative wooden valence/shelf I built 15 years ago and mounted over dining room window.)

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My WW asked me, quite pointedly, WHO said that I could take the radio, lawn chairs, and some canned food. She said that she never said I could take any of that!! Not being sarcastic now, she was actually upset that I thought I could take the lawn chairs and some canned food

She said she never agreed to let me take any of those other things I listed, like the garage sale items, or the old silverware. And she didn't think it was right for me to tell people I could have them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Then she told me that </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's just impossible to be nice to you. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, I guess she isn't coming around. I was a bit presumptious thinking I might get some of the garage sale items.

But on the bright side, maybe if I get up early I can buy the stuff off her when she holds the sale.

Mrs Joad:

Well, nobody is likely 2 accuse you of being a dead ringer for Mother Teresa... ...quite.

Sorry if that comes across as disrespectful. But I must disagree with you in that I do believe it 2 be possible 2 be nice 2 Tom. Heck, I LIKE Tom because he's been nice 2 ME.

I can understand why this thread upsets you, though. Justified or not, it's no fun being on the receiving end of someone else's humor, even if that humor is purt near all that's sustaining them right now.

Question, though: Why not just give him half the $h!+ in the house? It's just stuff. Most of it will break or wear out even2ally anyway, and have 2 be replaced.

This isn't about "being happy" with OM or someone else. Your life, just like mine and Tom's is about the LEGACY you leave behind. As Peter Gabriel so beautifully put it in one of my favorite songs of his:

"What better measure of what you were doing here
Than by what you can leave behind?
All of the children of your children's children
Do you ever think what they're going to find?
Make tomorrow, make tomorrow, where the sacred meet the scared!
Make tomorrow, make tomorrow, where the dreamer's dream is dared!"

Most people don't get remembered beyond their decendents who knew them personally, unless they did something memorable or their character had an impression on a wider circle of people (good or bad).

How do you want 2 be rembered? As a bitter old woman who threw her fireman husband and father of her 2 children out of his house with little more than a "blue" couch 2 sit on in the condo? Or fondly as a mother and ROCK at the center of a family with values that meant/mean something?

Choose wisely,
-ol' 2long

SORRY OL 2 LONG DON'T THINK MRS. JOAD HAS THE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> CAPACITY TO UNDERSTAND YOUR QUOTE.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by SerendipiT:
<strong> I am going to start calling FamilyMatter "Tony Robbins of MB."

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm actually considering this <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I've done some radio work and writing for a local paper. Who knows? I might be able to turn something positive out of all this grief, saving my M and finding a new career.

Thanks SerendipiTTTTT

Tom/Tom's W
Do you really feel that Tom doesn't deserve more than old furnishings that you no longer desire? The courts use black ink, you on the other hand do have the gift of compassion within you, if you so chose to exercise it. What does that list of furnishings say about you as a person? How do you want to feel about yourself after the smoke has settled?

Just my opinion and observations.

Take Care

FM

<small>[ September 11, 2004, 09:41 AM: Message edited by: FamilyMatters ]</small>

OK....I'm going to be really frank here.

I think your WW needs to get her head out of her a$$ and realize what kind of message she is sending to your children with her treatment of you in this whole situation.

But then again....it's all about her isn't it?

It's amazing how she thinks that she has a "right" to all the things that the 2 of you have acquired over the years while she gets to pick and choose the things that she will "allow" you to have....and those things are things that she would either throw out or sell to strangers....and then she gets mad about canned goods. Seriously.....I mean....with all the $$ she will have coming her way from you I'm sure she could afford 60 or 70 cents to replace them....not a problem...since you'll be paying for them anyway.

She actually said that it was impossible to be nice to you?

OMG.....in what way is she being nice? I've yet to figure that one out. It's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE not to be nice to anyone. We CHOOSE to be nice or mean....someone deosn't MAKE us do it. We CHOOSE how we react to things.....and we CHOOSE the reaction that we will have.

As for the work list.......Tom.....if the house isn't crumbling down around the kids....then don't do it. She wanted the house....she is now responsible for it.

Your WW is a class act. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

BTW.....did she allow you to have your tooth brush?

<small>[ September 11, 2004, 10:36 AM: Message edited by: Miss Priss ]</small>

Thanks for the comments <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

What really bothers me most isn't the divorce, or the money or the things. It is that I wanted so much more for my Wife, I thought and wanted her to be a better person than this. It is kind of like having so many hopes and dreams for your kids to have them slip away into a life of sleaze and addiction. It hurts to see what they have done to themselves.

I've stopped believing in the FOG. She is not in a fog. She is..... I'm not going to say it on here. But it is very very disrespectful, and it is not a judgement - it is an observation. She doesn't need to watch Jerry Springer, she lives that life now.

It just hurts that someone I care for, (yes I still care about her) is so lost and bereft of any sense of morality or decency.

I was in the FOG thinking she was more than what she is.

<small>[ September 11, 2004, 11:56 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Stinky Double Post

<small>[ September 16, 2004, 04:11 PM: Message edited by: FamilyMatters ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Tom Joad:
<strong>


I was in the FOG thinking she was more than what she is. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've VERY OFTEN thought about this.

Just because I fell in love with this person, want my M to survive and I'm willing to work at it...that doesn't NECESSARILY mean that she is the person she used to be. OPPS Then I remember my own mistakes, indiscetions, crappy decisions and I realize people are too complex to be defined by some small time frame of their lives or some stupid action.

TOM I had an A and I was a jerk during it, I have changed but I think it's a process. Your W is under there somewhere just like my W is, will you and I keep enough love in our hearts for them so they can make amends??? That's a question that only we can answer or time.

I slip in and out of BS fog from time to time...hey I'm only human. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tom,

If this is an example of your wife being "nice", then what the heck is she like when she is being "mean"? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

If your wife is that materialistic, let her have the moldy couch, the lawn chairs, and the canned food. That won't make her happy. She will end up being miserable and alone.

You on the other hand, will end up happy. Someone will appreciate you for the love you have to give. Your children will love and respect you for the man they have seen struggle for what he believes in. No matter what, you will end up with everything in the end, at least everything that counts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Cathy

Tom -

I just read your reason for your MB name -

How cool!

I had to read "The Grapes of Wrath" when I was in school, but I think it was my mom who really got me to read it, and I loved it.

Forgot all about it until now.

Cool!

I hate to say it but this is how I would handle the situation. I have a very twisted sense of humor. Quit your job and take up a job that pays just enough for a one bedroom all bills paid apartment, furnished of course. Let your then WxW have everything else and then let the dust settle. You may have to pay some child support, but they can't squeeze blood out of a turnip. Child support is set on wage rate if I am not mistaken. You will still get at least partial custody of your children. Your WxW will then have to sell the house, unless the OM has money, which you have already said he does not. Her fantasy of shacking up with the OM while you foot all the bills will be gone in less than a NY minute. Poetic justice IMHO.

Tom:

"She doesn't need to watch Jerry Springer, she lives that life now."

I've had the mis42ne of seeing some episodes of that jerk on the lobotomy box. The almighty dollar. That's all he cares about. Sadly, there ARE bushels and bushels of pitiful twits that are PERFECT for his little freak shows.

Peter Gabriel has a song for those types as well:

"The Barry Williams Show" -Peter Gabriel

"Let's go...

One man at the window
One girl at the bar
Saw that look of recognition
When they know just who you are!
I seen you on the TV!
I seen you on that show!
You make the people crazy
And then you let them go!

Before the show we calm them
We sympathise, we care.
And the hostile folk we keep apart
'Til the red light says 'on air'.
Did you see our leather lovers
All tied up to the chair?
Did you catch those child molesters
No one else goes there.

What a show! - The Barry Williams Show!
What a show!
Dysfunctional excess is all it took for my success!
The greater pain that they endure
The more you know the show will score.

Showtime!

Got the reputation of a surgeon
'Cos they cannot feel the cut.
It looks so very simple
But it really is an art.
They call our studio 'the hospital'
Making money from the sick.
We let people be themselves
There is no other trick.

'My lover stole my girlfriend'
'Keep beating up my ex'
'I want to kill my neighbour'
'My daughter's selling sex'
'My s/m lover hurt me'
'My girl became a man'
'I love my daughter's rapist
'My life's gone down the pan'

What a show! The Barry Williams Show!
What a show!
Dysfunctional excess is all it took for my success!
And when the punches start to fly
The ratings always read so high

Showtime!

'That girl has got no scruples'
Not a wrinkle on her face.
You would not believe the plot she conceived
So they'd let her take my place.
Well, no man is an island.
No man is a sea.
But this display of emotion
Is all but drowning me.

What a show, oh what a show.
On my show, The Barry Williams Show
It's my show.
What a show.
Dysfunctional excess is all it took for my success.

The best TV you've ever seen
Where people say the things that they really mean.
I hear my name, I hear them roar
For the one more time i take the floor.
Just one more Barry Williams Show
We're gonna take you where you want to go.

It's showtime!

Come on down
Come on down"

-ol' 2long

I've never heard that song. But I do like his music. From way back to his Gensis days.

I have lost all respect for her 2Long. I can't look at her with out the contempt rising in my throat. TRASH.

Last week she said she didn't do anything wrong, and I better be able to prove it to the Judge. Today She asked me today if I hired a PI, told me that I better quit wasting the kids money on an investigator. When she asked I told her "maybe".

She brought it up at least 4 times today - telling me to stop having her watched. It was kind of a hoot.

Guess maybe someone has been checking up on Homewrecker Steve. Maybe it should have occurred to her that it might be one of his other internet playthings husbands, or maybe even the women. (Hate to say woman, that word denotes some type of maturity)

I am so ready to move along right now. I'm a planner. Plan your work, work your plan. I'm planning for a new life.

Just regret the kids have to stay with that Trash wife of mine.

I know, I shouldn't say that. But I don't care anymore, I being kicked out of my own house by a creature that sat on the couch for 15 years and did hardly anything.

I have a great GIF of a spoof springer show, it's hilarious. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ September 12, 2004, 06:15 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ September 16, 2004, 06:23 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom, you okay, today?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

What's up..?

We're here, Tom.

After dinner last night the STBX and I had the occassion to speak to one another. Blah! In case you didn't notice I will not refer to her as a W, it isn't fair to people who really are W's and even WW's. She is now STBX!

The subject of her $1,000+ cell phone charges over the past few months came up. I wondered where she got the money to pay for the bills when the only job she really did was dust the couch with her a$$.

While this job didn't pay much - it was a supervisors job and did provide some benefits; such as a roof, New furniture in every room, new wood floors in every bedroom, a company car and gas, cigarettes, Heating and A/C, indoor plumbing, all you can eat buffet 24/7, free tv, cable and highspeed internet access, and of course her very favorite web cam and cell phone ( now with over 4000 minutes a month. It even has two employees (our kids) who can be bossed around to do some housework and laundry.

I'm sorry, I digress.

Anyway, about the exorbitant cost of the cell phone bills due to her addicktive behaivor. I'm sorry, did I say "addicktive", I mean addicted <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I asked where she got the money to pay for them. ( I guessed it had come from the $7,000 she took out of the bank for herself, or the more than $30,000 that had dissappeared from our account over the past 11 months. ) But NO! She smiled her quait smile and told me </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Maybe Steve paid for them <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I didn't really suspect that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

So now I'm thinking a little more of Homewrecker Steve - he pays for his fun, maybe he isn't as manipulative and exploitive as I thought. The price he's paying is still probably cheap since I'm guessing phone sex must go for at least $1/minute. That would be about $2500/month. That doesn't even include the free webcam shows! So he is a smart consumer.

And now I'm thinking, and I didn't really think it was possible. But I'm thinking a little less of my STBX. She gets paid just like a Jerry Springer ....... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

But maybe, just maybe, she found a career oportunity.

<small>[ September 16, 2004, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>