Hello Board.....Well I think my Plan A time has ran out. Although I was successful in getting WW to counsel independently with Steve H tomorrow morning, I'm tired and I feel my bank depleting rapidly.....

Please endulge me as I'm trying to shorten my posts but there is a question at the end......

I was "recharged" on Weds after C w/SH but a day later, I don't want to see WW. I've continued to Plan A as best I could. No LB's, no over-doing it, let WW know that what she is doing is hurting me. All has worked well...but......

For the last few days, I've been thinking "is this worth it?" I know deep in my heart that it is however, I have just as many thoughts like "I don't need this, if WW wants to figure herself out, then go do it! and quit showing up here at 0630 every morning and staying until 2200 (10:00 p.m.). Go do "whatever it is you think you need to do!"

Tonight was more of the same. I didn't bring up relationship talk - WW does! Says "I don't think we'll ever be the same or better". I said the same thing "I believe we can rebuild and have a better marriage".

Right before making dinner, I was on the patio and WW came out and we didn't say much to each other. I thought she may have something to say. We went in and I asked her "anything you want to talk about". WW says "I told you, I'm never telling you anything again. Look what happened last time. You talked to OM's mother".

I didn't say anything. As a matter of fact, I didn't say much at all the rest of the evening. Barely even looked at her. I know not to take stock in WW's words and the give without the expectation of anything in return, but damn I'm tired and pretty much don't to be around her.

Later WW tells me "I'm thinking about moving back home because of finances but I don't want to give you the wrong signals". I told her "that's probably not a good idea because I would rather you move back when you're ready to work on our relationship, our marriage and our family". I added "you're never even at the apartment". WW said "because I'll miss my DD". Not much else was said.

Mixed signals! How about the on again/off again hurt/confusion WW displays. I know WW's confused and I know there is a higher purpose. Like WW's nightly call to tell me she got in her apartment okay. It was short but I could sense emotion in her voice again. There's a mixed signal for ya!!!

Here's my delimma. WW says she has broken it off with OM. Checked her cell last night and no calls since Saturday. I don't know whether WW talks to OM at work. WW still maintains that "because of work, I can't help it if I talk/see him". I'm fairly confident she isn't seeing him because I know which stores she's working at.

Earlier tonight WW tells me during one of the conversations on the patio "I'm not seeing anyone". I do know that to be true because she has been here everyday and every night (at least until 10:00)!

Could this be her coming out of the fog and just too confused to admit that she made bad choices?? I ask that because WW also said tonight "how do I know I won't do this again in the future?" I answered in with MB principles without going into "education" mode.

I apologize for this being so long. I guess none of it matters considering we haven't moved forward and I'm tired of playing. I've executed an exceptional Plan A and I'm not sure how WW's C with SH will go. He's good and maybe I'll be recharged again. Not holding my breath and can't get my heart/soul/mind to stop thinking Plan B!

The only pause is if I'm missing the fact that maybe WW is trying to come home and recommit but just can't bring herself to do it. WW is very stubborn and when frustrated just keeps in all to herself........SIGH!....(borrowed from Bob Pure)......

Thanks for listening........LS