UPDATE following on from my previous posting where I am getting ready to Plan B WW.
PLAN A and B Veterans

I threw caution to the wind and intentionally LB'd my WW big time this weekend, gave it to her (verbally) in spades. She was out with OM and but tried telling me it was with girlfriend. Unfortunately others have told me different and confirmed my suspicions.
I was so angry with her that I had to leave the house before I said stuff that I really really regretted. When I got back WW wanted to talk but I flatly refused and explained that if she was going to conmtinue lying about everything, then I had nothing to say. I have avoided her for the past few days and kept converstion to absolute minimum. I generally wouldn't do this but have had enough of her disrespect and lying.
Given I am going into Plan B shortly, is there really a need for me to pretend that everything is still fine between us or is it acceptable that we have little if any interaction / conversation?

<small>[ September 19, 2004, 11:10 PM: Message edited by: RenaissanceMan ]</small>

RM, I don't know what you said to her on the w/e but if you say you LB'd then I believe you. You cannot change that now. The rest of it sounds like you are simply protecting your boundaries, which is a good thing, not a bad thing. You cannot pretend all is well when it clearly isn't and its very likely that any conversation may end in an argument anyway. If you are avoiding this nonsense without seeming hostile then you are probably doing very well.

Have you done all you can in plan A? only you know when its time for plan B.

Hi Seahorse - Yes I have tried pretty much everything.
As for what I said, well I pretty much threw the book / library at her. I very bluntly told WW that I knew about meeting up with OM (which she denies);
* that this continued behaviour is very disrespectful to me as a person
* she is a major dissapointment to me at present
* that her behaviour is consistant with being a cheater (she hates being called this) so yes, she is a cheater!!
* that she is using me to get the best of both worlds
* that I do not beleive anything she tells me as it nearly always turns out to be false... etc.
There are probably several dozen other things as well but they revolve around the same basic theme.
WW is a cake eater (as well as a serial liar at present). From having read about Plan A and Plan B and the advice that I have been given I know what I did was wrong, but I can't stand by and take much more of this cr@p. I guess that's why we are heading into plan B.
If I understand what you have said, it's probably better to say very little / be quiet than to continue to LB' her as opposed to trying to pretend that everything is peachy?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> If I understand what you have said, it's probably better to say very little / be quiet than to continue to LB' her as opposed to trying to pretend that everything is peachy? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think you have said it all to her last weekend and if you love her and want her back it would be better to say nothing than to LB. Any interaction should be respectful and loving as you can handle.

If it is hurting you this much you should consider how you will handle the situation from now on - whether that be limited contact or a plan B - its up to you.