I got a call from OM's land lord today...He told me that this guy XXXX stoped by OM's place yesterday and threaten OM ...XXXX found out that OM had sex with his girl friend this time last year......XXXX just broke up with his girlfriend 3 months ago because she left him for another man....Last yr OM was up our house and he told us that he had sex with XXXX's girl friend....Well I never told XXXX about it when my WW left because it would get back to WW...well guess what I ran into XXXX at wal-mart yesterday and he told me that him and his girlfriend split up...(Girlfriend is my WW new friend when all this started and was the one who told WW to get me for child support).... I was the one who told XXXX that OM had sex with his girlfriend last year and I told him that This other guy was there to .......well when XXXX slammed on his breaks in front of OM's house yesterday ,OM was working on a car and XXXX asked OM if it was true and OM denided it...XXXX told om if he does find out it is true he is going to kick his [censored]......OM pussied out.....then I found out that WW is burning all her bridges.....The girl next store tolsd WW that she could stay with her last week when OM and WW had another fight and as soon as OM came back home 6hrs later WW went back with him and kissed his [censored]......made up...Lond lord told me that he is tireds of trying to help WW too because she keeps running back to him......I think WW still needs more time to mess up but it is looking grim for WW.........landlord told me that he told WW if she keeps up this stuff she is going to lose Daughter.........I will just sit back and watch......should I say any thing to WW or just act as if I don't know.......

Frank, I would be up at your attorney's first thing on Monday talking to him about getting your D out of that trailer trash soap opera. I can't believe you are sending your D over there to that mess. It's bad enough that your W has lost her mind, but to send your D in into that sleaze is just outrageous. Your attorney should take all this information to the judge to get a new hearing to get Meagan out of there.

Frnak, I would also suggest that you are probably PROLONGING your W's affair with your Plan A. One of the reasons she can endure it is because she knows you are there for her. If you weren't there to meet her needs and pick up the pieces, she would quickly burn out on her troubled affair.

Do you realize that your contact is only working AGAINST you and prolonging the affair?

I do have meagan with me now......

Frank, did you read my posts?

Frank
I am going to be very blunt with you because I think that's what is needed to get through to you. You need to leave these people alone! You're adding fuel to the fire by telling things that are none of your business. What if this man had hurt your daughter and your wife because of what you told! How could you live with yourself.

I think it's a shame what you and your wife are doing to your daughter. You're exposing her to Jerry Springer trash that sounds more like dogs in heat than human. Do you want your daughter to lead such a life? No? Well, your giving her an example to follow.

You need to stop talking to this land lord, stop spreading gossip, stop participating in the garbage your wife is living in and focus on Meagan. If you don't watch out, child protective services will step in and take her from both of you and I wouldn't blame them! You're both destroying each other and she'll be destroyed in the process.

You should not talk to your WW about this matter or any other matter except Meagan. You've started all this garbage by running your mouth about so and so having sex with so and so. It's as disgusting as their behavior.

Frank,
I must agree with the others. You believe that by Plan A'ing, you will win back your w. The fact is that she has been living with this scumbag for over 8 months and your daughter is being subjected to a horrible environment.

I know that only you can make the decision of how much you are willing to put up with BUT, my advice is to go to Plan B. Your WW is using you to continue her affair. She has you to fall back on and she knows it. she is talking to you but I don't see that as progress towards a meaningful relationship or a healthy family situation for your daughter.

By allowing yourself to be involved in this continued drama, you are not making any changes towards moving on to a productive and happy life without your WW. You are right in the middle of it! STOP playing these games. Your daughter is not with you all the time, she is living in an unstable and unsafe home and I think that you should be pounding on your lawyer's door demanding that he help you remove an innocent child from that filth!

Don't talk to people in Wal-Mart or anywhere alse about who is sleeping with who, rise above the disgusting soap opera and make a life for you and your daughter.

I'm sotrry if this seems harsh, but I call it like I see it and I am concerned about your welfare.

Plan B is intended to show the WS what life will be like without you in it. Until you take that step, your WW can continue to sleep with another man, have her child in his home and have you at the other end of the phone any time she pleases. You are a pawn and you deserve better.

Listen guys I am so afraid that if I go to plan B I will lose her for ever.........I know in my heart that you are so right.......I have meagan most of the time here lately....My is letting her stay with me.....I thlnk she knows that it is the right place for her....I am so scared....She is playing me ......you are saying...RIGHT........she has been nicer.....This is so hard to do..............I wish it was all over......I wish I could take a pill and forget she ever excisted........I wish I could go back a year ago and know what I know now.........I wish I wish, I wish.................Why me lord..............I am so upset right now.....Sorry..........

Frank, you should be afraid of losing your W if you DON'T go into Plan B. As it is now, she has no motivation to come back. You are doing nothing more than aiding and abetting her affair.

There is absolutely no reason to stay in Plan A, Frank, it has gone on so long that it is working AGAINST you now. It is enabling her to stay there longer than she could if she didn't have you propping her up. You owe it to her and Meagan to move forward, Frank.

Frank,

As hard as it may be, let your WW's affair run its course. It sounds as though there is enough trouble in paradise without you having to stir the pot further. Listed to ML and go dark. Let your WW find out that you will not fill her emotional need for companionship and conversation by starting a good Plan-B right now. Act confident and secure around your WW and do not make yourself 100% available. Tell her that you have made plans for the evening and let her realize that your world can function outside of hers. You have a really bad habit of asking the same questions over and over, our answers will not change. Follow the MB program, or go it alone, but do something.

If she calls tommorrow what should I tell her or how should I answer the phone or should I,,,,

Frank, you have to make a decision to go into Plan B first. If you decide to do it, it is best to send her your Plan B letter just like we discussed before. Send a copy to the OM also.

Frank,
I'm sorry that you are hurting. Now is the time to make a decision and stop sending mixed signals to your WW. Stand up for youself and your future. It may be with her and it may not, but your current relationship is not healthy and you need to make a change.

I thought that you had written a Plan B letter and were waiting until the hearing to mail it. The hearing was a few weeks ago, correct? Why are you continuing this? Her actions show that she has no intention of leaving the OM, she just wants contact with you for her own benefit. It is not benefiting you in any way. You are not moving on or repairing your relationship with her. You are basically sitting in a pile of crap and watching it get larger every day.

Plan a is not working, stop it today! Write the Plan B letter and post it here. Melody is really good at this, she can help you tweak it if necessary. Start this week fresh by making a decision to stand up for yourself and force your WW to see what her life will be without you in it. If that's what she wants, it's time to move on. If not, you will see changes.

PLEASE do not continue swimming in circles, we are trying to help you! Ladysing

I will post my letter.