IM A 32 YR OLD WITH 3 KIDS, I JUST FOUND A FEW MONTHS THAT MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFFAIR AND HAS A 1 YR OLD DAUGHTER. MY HUSBAND DID MOVE OUT AND SO DID I. BUT ONLY AFTER A MONTH HE MOVED HOME,BUT IM STILL IN A LEASE. OUR MARRIAGE WASNT PERFECT. WE WENT OUT SEPARATE WAYS. I ADMIT I DID LIE ABOUT MONEY AND OUR KIDS. I WENT OUT ALL THE TIME, BUT I COULDNT DEAL WITH THE PROBLEMS OF MY MARRIAGE SO I JUST LEFT. HE THINKS I HAD AN AFFAIR BUT I COULDNT DO THAT NO MATTER IF MY MARRIAGE WAS BAD OR NOT. I REALIZE NOW THAT I LOVE MY HUSBAND WITH ALL MY HEART AND I TELL HIM EVERYDAY AND I DONT GET NO RESPONSE. HE DOESNT WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON BUT HE DOESNT REALIZE THAT I WANT TO KNOW IN ORDER FOR ME TO GET PAST THIS AND MOVE ON. HE TELLS ME WE CAN GET THRU THIS BUT HOW CAN WE IF HE ISNT WILLING TO TALK WITH ME. I KNOW MY HUSBAND ISNT A TALKATIVE PERSON. I NEED TO KNOW HOW HE FEELS ABOUT ME AND IF WE HAVE A CHANCE OF SAVING OUR MARRIAGE. I DONT DERSERVE TO BE 2ND ITS NOT FAIR TO EITHER OF US. WHAT CAN I DO?

sounds very confusing...

are you both together now? What are his thoughts and plans on OW and his other daughter? What do you want out of the marriage?

sounds very confusing...

are you both together now? What are his thoughts and plans on OW and his other daughter? What do you want out of the marriage?

ME AND MY HUSBAND LIVE APART. I CAN ACCEPT HIS OTHER CHILD BUT I CANT ACCEPT THE OTHER WOMAN. HIS ONLY RESPONIBILITY IS TO THE CHILD AND NOT THE WOMAN. I WANT MY MARRIAGE TO WORK WE HAVE TO MUCH TO LOSE. IM SO CONFUSED

have you started reading the basic concepts on this site? have you read the HN/HN or SAA books?

If you want your marriage then you need to formulate a plan that will bring you too back together. Start with plans on moving back in and what its going to take for that to happen. you also need to set some boundries for you and your husband....what you will tollerate and what you wont....not in a argumentative way...but in a loving way...

read-up on the posts here and gather all the information you can. Keep coming back often and post as much as you like. people here will help...

You will have to come up with a plan for recovery.
Read all the concepts on the main part of this site.

Including the following:
The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage

Buy a copy and read: His Needs Her Needs, and Surviving an Affair. (you order them on this site or in a bookstore...your library may have them)
If he is willing, you can ask that he read them too.

(Try not to use all capitals when you post because it can be perceived as shouting and can be more difficult to read. Also try to break up the post to have more paragraphs within it to be easier read.)

You can also look at the pregnancy and child forum on this site as there are many there in your situation with an OC (other child).

It's good that you are at the first step of wanting a better marriage than you have had and that your H (husband) is receptive to getting back together. At some point after you agree on a plan you may need to save to buy your lease out so you can get back together. Or maybe you can sublet your apartment.