This has been a very difficult year. After a 6 month separation we are back together and have been in IC and MC for 6 months. We have a long history of counseling for the same things. I thought I was doing well until recently.
I don't seem to be progressing in counseling and have found that I don't really believe anything my WH tells me including when he says I love you. I love him as he is the father of my children but I really don't see us growing old together. His controlling behaviors are on again off again and I am emotionally drained. We have a wonderful support system at our church but I am afraid to open up there as to my feelings about my H.

Our counselor has told me my H has a sexual addiction and that sex is his drug of choice. This whole thing is so embarassing and has my stomach tied up in knots. My H refuses to discuss any issues and we have only been to one counseling session together. I feel like my sessions are to tell our counselor how my H behavior is during the week.

I feel like I am privately spinning out of control and feel a bit of anxiety. On the outside everything looks fine, great kids, great life etc. I know trust is lacking but after he was caught last time and the level of his lies I know he could still get away with it if he wants to. I don't spend any time anymore looking for clues but I now think I am being parinoid because I swear I could smell another woman on him. He denied it and gave me that hurt puppy dog look.

I think I am offically going crazy and those that love me must be afraid to tell me. Is there anyone with knowledge about sexual addiction and/or has been the spouse of an addict?

Yes there are some

Look for posts from:

Angelia, Roberta, Drucilla among others

Thanks

Yes , my H also has a sex addiction as well as lying. His affairs have been physical not emotional on his end.

As far as counsling. My H sees a counselor on his own. His goal is to realize that his decisions affect other people , as well as why he can't tell the truth.

unfortunatley it took hurting me as well as our children to get this help. He also has a OC born early Aug. Our son doesn't speak with him and his work is aware of his cheating on me.

It is hard to realize that people can have an addiction like this, but some people do. You are not alone in feeling anxious and like you are on a rollercoaster. I'm there as well. Just hang on!

Lori

Thanks for responding Lori. Sometimes this whole thing seems like a bad dream. My H doesn't think he is "really and addict" but from what our counselor says and from what I've read he is. I have not told our children the extent of our problems or about his addiction.

Our son has asked if he cheated and I told him that was a really good question for his dad. Maybe I should have told him but I didn't want to hurt him more. I don't think a 14 yr old can understand this addiction. Maybe I am wrong.

I think your right in not telling your 14 year old the extent of the problem.
My 14 year old son knows of the affair and OC. Not by choice, but he knows now and the relationship with his dad is really strained right now. He trys to be the man of the house now and it's hard on all of us.

He should however know that your having problems but assure him that your trying to resolve them if indeed you are. Some things kids just shouldn't have to deal with.

Good luck
Lori