Jenny...are you out there??

Jenny

Sorry, I guess I need to tell you who this is. This is Lisa103 with a new name of stillstruggling <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> !! I think I found out why I wasn't able to receive your emails. I believe that we had set a block on it a few years ago when my daughter was using this address. When you get a chance try to email me again at
lillissie13@aol.com

Lisa, I'll definitely e-mail you.

I did try that address again after you said the block had been lifted last time but I still couldn't get through, but I'll have another try.

I wondered if you were still lurking. I'd love to talk to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jenny

let me know when you have tried again, ok?

Lisa, you have mail (I hope) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jen

I didn't get your email!! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Lisa, e-mail me at jenmbl@netscape.net and I'll try replying to your e-mail. That might work.

Jen

Jen...I sent you an email. Please let me know if you received it.

Lisa, I've sent a reply.

Hope you get it.

Jen

Lisa,

Why are you still struggling?

How is your new job?

How are H & you doing?

Wondering minds want to know.

I'm with RAG:

Yes indeed, "why" still struggling?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

And why the name change? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

And where have you been (and for so long).

Guess all these questions may be "one" of the reasons, Huh?. (perhaps? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )

top rope and RAG. I couldn't remember my password for Lisa103 when I came back on to post so I selected a new name and then I remembered my password. This getting old thing is bad. The memory is not what is used to be.

My marriage is what it's always been. We are like brother and sister. I love him dearly but our marriage has never been normal. I have accepted that as the nature of our relationship. I suppose that's one reason why I was so vulnerable to OMM to begin with. No excuses here, just the truth of the matter.

My struggle now is this built up resentment that I have for OM now. I don't understand why or where it's coming from. It just doesn't seem right to me that I had to leave my job of 17 years, that I have suffered through knowing how I've hurt my family and he has suffered absolutely nothing. I'm been afraid to come back here and post this because I really don't need any 2x4's right now. I have beat myself up sufficiently enough.

I want to release this man from my heart and mind...period! It has never been my nature to hold a grudge or to wish bad things on people but when I hear his name brought up in my new office because I still work in the same industry, about how good him and his wife are doing, it's like a knife going through me!! Life is good for him now, I'm completely out of his life and with that he no longer has to be reminded of this whole mess.

I have suffered enough for the both of us.

What is my problem????