I thought that we had settled this with our discussion this past weekend. My wife is trying to pump me for information on how I found out about everything. I think she called the other guy and they have been talking about how I found out. I am afraid that this may give them a reason to keep contact and they may reconnect and meet again. When she asks me about what proof I have I just tell her that I know and we don’t really need to get into the how because that really does not matter. I am in a bind because I don’t want to tell her everything I know and how I know but at the same time I may be giving them a chance to reconnect. Just looking for some advice.

hurt3,

Remember, you are not in a court. You do not have to present your evidence. As far as deciding whether your W is having an A, you are the judge and jury. If you are convinced, it is enough.

But... on the other hand,
if there is a possibility that you are wrong, you owe your W a chance to explain herself.

Don't give her all your sources in any case. Meanwhile, find more ways to collect information and confirm to yourself what is going on.

Almost certainly you are correct.

And still.... if you want to save your M, the advisarial activity of proving her wrong is not productive. I think it is better to simply say "Look, you know the truth and I know the truth. Lets look toward the future."

In my case, I collected info without saying a word most of the time. I didn't react to each and every thing I found out.

Nobody likes to be followed, "spied on" etc. You need to do it so that you can understand what is going on, but if you want to go through the "plan A" cycle, you may not want to confront your W with each offense you discover.

Is OM married?

If you need evidence for anything, you might need to present it to OM's W.


-AD