BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN,

Liny isn't being funny again!!!!!!!!!!!!

<small>[ December 10, 2004, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: kyellow4 ]</small>

Now, you're probably saying to yourself that that joke was the crudest joke I have. Not as bad as the oil joke I have!
{rim shot}

AG=Attorney General....speaking of cars...Did you hear that Mike Tyson has been named GM of the Pistons? They'll get an earful!

How to sink a sub:
Have one crew working on the ballast system in the front of the boat, and another crew working on it in the back of the boat.
Then the nightshift all go to lunch at 11:00PM. They come back to the dock, and you guessed it - the submarine sunk. It was the Guitarro - at Mare Island Naval Shipyard.

Hey, Liny, your so not funny, even the hyenas have stopped laughing.


Heckle, heckle <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I see Jelly's not back again today!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

And just so you know Jelly Bing, I was trying to cheer LINY up by making him think he was funny...

But alas, you're right. It wasn't intentional! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'll be appearing in Las Vegas right after David Copperfield's show...that is if I don't disappear first!

That's right I'm not back again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

See what your encouragement did???

Now what do we do?

My timing was off -
but it was STILL the night shift


4:00 P.M.: A civilian construction group (nuclear) began an instrument calibration assignment which required the filling of certain tanks, located aft of the ship's pivot point, with approximately five tons of water.
4:30 P.M.: A civilian construction group (nonnuclear) began an assignment to bring the ship within a half degree of trim. This entailed the adding of water to tanks forward of the ship's pivot point, to overcome a reported two degree up-bow attitude.
4:30 to 7:50 P.M.: The nuclear group continued to add water aft.
4:30 to 7:45 P.M.: The nonnuclear group continued to add water forward.
7:00 P.M. and again at 7:30 P.M.: A security watch advised the nonnuclear group that by that time the Guitarro was riding so low forward that a one and a half foot wave action, stirred up by boats operating in the river, was causing water to enter an uncovered manhole in the most forward and lowest portion of the ship's deck. These warnings went unheeded.
7:45 P.M.: The nonnuclear group stopped adding water to the ballast tanks in preparation for their lunch break.
7:50 P.M.: The nuclear group completed their calibrating assignment and began to empty the tanks aft.
8:00 P.M.: The nonnuclear group left for lunch.
8:30 P.M.: The nuclear group emptying the water from the aft tanks and a member of the group noticed " sudden down angle being taken by the boat." At approximately the same time, the nonnuclear group and others, returning to the ship from lunch, observed in down sharply at the bow with a massive flooding taking place through several large open hatches.
8:30 to 8:45 P.M.: Efforts made to close watertight doors and hatches were unsuccessful due to lines and cables running through them.
8:55 P.M.: The Guitarro sank.

Please, please...You're all two kind...but I've got a royal staright so I win!
{rim shot}

Speaking of subs...I'm from the east coast, and I went out to Cali last week...I walk into Subway and ask for a hero. The clerk says, "Spiderman, Batman, or The Hulk?"

BROWN!!!

HELP!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

So I says, "You're funny, kid. can I play connect the dots on your face? No really, just playing, kid. Can I have a pop with that?" (Thinking I'll fit in.) You know what he says? Do you know what he says?!?!? Nothing. Takes his fingers and squeezes a zit right there and says, "There's your pop sir."

So I says, "You're funny kid." So I take him on the road...No, no...I take him on the Santa Monica Freeway and tie his shoe laces together.

So I's fly back to New york...Why didn't anybody tell me you get felt up at the airports? I would have been spending my time in the airports rather than paying Trixie 50 bucks a night!

All you crickets and grasshoppers: I LOVE YOU!!! Good night!
{applause track}

Oh lIny liny liny whats this Monkeying around you are doing heh???

speaking of Monkeying around . why DID the monkey fall out of the tree???


because he was dead

I say again, Good Lord!

Six pages to catch up on and now we're down to Henny Youngman jokes. Good Lord.


believer - I got in at the end of the singing - so sorry I missed it -- NOT!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby - I was hearing rumors of a coup? I am now sitting on top of the bank with my rifle waiting for the army to arrive (not you, RIF) so I can squelch this coup attempt.

I'm right with you Starz - but I will probably need a shotgun, and will have to be a little closer - maybe 5 feet away to fit anything.

I'll check the amory for some RPG's too.

Make that HIT - not fit.