Good morning I'ville. We are expecting almost 80 degree weather today. Playing hooky and taking DD to the happiest place on earth today for her birthday. Of course I'ville is the silliest place on earth!

FL big cyber hugs to you. ((FL)) sorry you are having a rough time.

Our MC session was brutal last night. I am really trying but it is so hard not to feel hopeless sometimes. My H has me locked into a person I was years ago and he can't see anything else. I will never be the person he wants and it kills me. Sorry, I should just update my thread on R board instead of bringing you all down.

FA-A--wow, read your thread. Sounds like you have the right attitude, but still be careful. YOu never know what will be there to bite you in the *ss.

AW--so glad Aussie is back and safe. Do you think when he sees DD fussing over you and you barfin' that he might figure it out? Take care of that man, sounds like he has been through h*ll and back.

Morning Mayor, Jelly, RH, Kimmy and anyone else I missed.

Mornin', ff.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My H has me locked into a person I was years ago and he can't see anything else. I will never be the person he wants and it kills me. Sorry, I should just update my thread on R board instead of bringing you all down.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I used to think the same about bringin poeple down here...HOGWASH! We are all here to support each other, and help, anyway we can. If it means me not being funny, so be it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
BTW, have you asked what he wants from you?

I'll check in later, idiots--before he!! (and fire and brimstone, today.)

HI LINY,

One of our major problems is he doesn't like to talk. We can actually have our only real convo of the week in MC. We did talk about that in MC. He feels that anytime I ask him about his day or what he is thinking/feeling that I am quizzing him or keeping tabs on him. He wants someone that accepts him for who he is and doesn't want to change him. He finally acknowledged that was what he was looking for in both of his A's. Since his view of me is locked into the angry, suspicious person I was years ago in his view I cannot meet those needs. Also, since my A happend first he has now come to the conclusion (which may be partially true)that I am more than 50% responsible for the demise of our M and what led to his A's. Ugh, sorry didn't mean to write a book. I am hurting so bad today. As if I don't beat myself up enough. I think it comes down to he really doesn't like me much. He says he loves me though. I am so confused and hurting. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

FF,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My H has me locked into a person I was years ago and he can't see anything else. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yup, i can relate to that!! that is exactly what was going on last night for me too.

during our conversaions, when dead silence was occuring, i would literally say to myself. past mistakes do not have to define the person i am now. and that did help. maybe you could try that too.

note, my post specifically stated </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> i've been a terrible and awful person</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">and that is a true statement. hence my need to tell myself, past mistakes do not have to dictate who i am today.

<small>[ December 14, 2004, 09:40 AM: Message edited by: FinallyLearning-T2M ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aussieswife:
<strong>Yes Liny is FUNNY !! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">STOP RIGHT THERE!!!

LINY IS NOT FUNNY!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> that I am more than 50% responsible for the demise of our M </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">wow FF, we are sure having the exact same stuff happening!!!

see why i asked for a hug this morning.

we have to focus on who we are now FF, i really believe that is the key for us. it's very hard, we have to allow our H's to show their hurt which will naturally lead us to feeling very bad, but we have to be able to build ourselves back up after these talks. until such a time that our H's heal and these talks are no longer needed.

FL,

I know you are right and I know that since we have been going to MC that my H is just learning to open up and express himself. I told him that it is through my actions that he will see that I do love him and want to rebuild our M. Thanks for the encouragement. Now I am going to run and be happy with DD.

{{FL}} Have a great day.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Originally posted by aussieswife:
Yes Liny is FUNNY !! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Naner naner naner <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm not the only one on thin ice now <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

you have a great day too FF.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> my H is just learning to open up and express himself </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">this is true for my H too. the thing to remember here is that is GOOD NEWS!! it may be painful right now but, down the road, that lesson learned is exactly what will make your relationship better.

ok, i'm done with heavy stuff now. i'm feeling better too.

{{{{{FL)))))

Chin Up!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

F-Again - How are you feeling this morning, all worn out?

Jelly - Yes a pill DOES fix everything. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Get some girl.

AW -((((((((Aussie&AW)))))))))
Thank God he is back from that hell. Take care of that tired warrior.

FL - You are not an awful person. You are here trying to make your marriage better than it ever was.

FF- Chin up, and stay the course.

A public announcement from the warden:

All Idiotville citizens are granted immediate clemency. We have all made mistakes in the PAST. We are here working on making changes and growing so that our futures will be brighter, using the MB principles.

That okay Mayor?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong>A public announcement from the warden:

All Idiotville citizens are granted immediate clemency. We have all made mistakes in the PAST. We are here working on making changes and growing so that our futures will be brighter, using the MB principles.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So let it be written...

So let it be done!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Robby - Can you keep that proclamation in the archives somewhere for the next time someone gets in trouble with Justuss, and she thinks this thread is not a marriagebuilding thread?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> So let it be written...

So let it be done!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey! It's Christmas, not Passover! No one said the 10 Commandments was on! I love that movie! Yul Brynner w/out his shirt! NUM!

justuss is female?? for some reason i thought she was a he. go figure!

as for the proclamation, although it sounds wonderful, my parolle officer (my H) still needs to be dealt with. i'm sure i spelled that wrong and that might be a poor choice of words because i certainly do not see him as a parolle officier, but you know what i mean.

FF and I (as well as countless others) are having to deal with the consequences, we are not just refusing to forgive ourselves and move forward, we are trying to deal with the mess we created.

Morning all.

Just a quick post before I head off to work. Whew! I am dog tired.

Thanks for all the support and the cautions that things might bite me back. Ya, I know. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

But, I have done and redone the worst case scenario. What if he own't budge? Okay, that isn't any difference. What if he gets fired? Okay, I can live with that? What if he hates me? UH DUH. He does now.

Military can't charge me. Only him. He has already left me emotionally as well as physically. I have never beaten anyone up. In my entire long life and I have been in some pretty ugly situations. SO, getting arrested for my actions is highly unlikely. Stalking? HHMM I am quite wily?

Am I missing any what ifs?

ENough! I am here to relax!

I never did get back for that drink. Fresh Coffeee with ashot sounds about right. CHristmas time and such.

Psst....as far as I could tell, Justuss IS a supporter of this thread. It was faceless/nameless others that complained. She even mentioned her defense of us and our Idiocy. Poor dear has to rein us in every once in awhile, but that's her duty to all, not a singling out of the Idiotians.

- Kimmy

FL - Actually we don't know if Justuss is male or female, but I think she is a she.

Dealing with the consequences is important, as long as no one is beating themselves up. Making changes in ourselves is the key.

Sheesh, enough marriagebuilding! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Jelly - Got those pills yet?

And where is RIF?