Gotta admit it. Kimmy's answer about the clown was WAY funnier than Liny's.

Can it be? Is it true? Liny isn't funny?

.

The Test

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your **** without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ December 20, 2004, 03:20 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

Uh oh. I'm losing my posse, one by one. Or is that starz taken em out from the rooftops? (Have ya figured I'm in a pent up, frustrated, where do turn this anger towards kinda mood?)

The Big Test

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an
assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill,
and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved
before you can even be considered for the position.

After sending some applicants through the background checks,
training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to
2 men and Starz, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which person would get
the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test
took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter
what the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you
will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill
her."

The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be
serious! I could never shoot my own wife!"

"Well," says the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man
for this job then."

So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a
gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter
what the circumstances," they explained to the second man.
"Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this
gun and kill her."

The second man looked a bit shocked, but nonetheless took the
gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes,
then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in
his eyes. "I tried to shoot her, I just couldn't pull the
trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the
job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take
your wife and go home."

Now they're down to Starz left to test. Again they lead her
to the same door to the same room and hand her the same gun. "We
must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what
the circumstances, this is your final test. Inside you will find
your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."

Starz took the gun and opened the door. Once the door
closed, the CIA heard the gun start firing. One shot after
another for 13 shots. Then all **** broke loose in the room.
They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This went
on for several minutes, then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood Starz. She wiped the
sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun
was loaded with blanks! I had to beat the ******* to death with
the chair!"

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ December 20, 2004, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

Robby, LMAO.

I've got to go to work now. Counting down the days to time off - yay.

Kimmy, see you when you get back here. Am I an idiot or what? I read you were going but forgot...

Jen

LOL!!!! Bet the chair hurt, eh?

(Off all week. According to some--off ALL the time.)

Mayor: Definitely brought a chuckle to my face. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Bet even Starz laughs at that.

****On another note, looks like Pat will be busy****

Gotta go pay some bills online and do some work around here--it ain't really a "vacation". Who am I trying to kid? Silly me. Have a good day all.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> (Off all week. According to some--off ALL the time.)
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Um...hello? That was soooo very-un-funny.

Blech to you LINY.

Actually, the way I meant it you just agreed with me. I meant "off" in the humorous sense. And, when one has to explain onesself--definitely NOT funny! Hence, I was not trying to be funny cause I knew it would have to be explained. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Have a <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> day [edit] you old fart! [end edit]

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ December 20, 2004, 01:02 PM: Message edited by: LINY ]</small>

BROWN!!!

Would you please muzzle your dh?????

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Jelly, thanks for the gift. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your very welcome Faith.

You guys have been in, um, form while I napped.

Poor Pat, no time off during the holidays, must edit Idiotville. Can you guys ever filter yourself??? Like ME!!!

They really must get an angel graemlin.

I woke to the drive way dusted with snow. It is all white out there. And I love it. I would take snow over tuna bait any time.

Go take a shower in it. That will make your peeks stand out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ December 20, 2004, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: Recovering H ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Go take a shower in it. That will make your peeks stand out.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A MUZZLE, that is what you get for Christmas, a MUZZLE.

Would that help my knee?

Yeah, I guess it couldn't hurt any worse.

Oh, are you still hurting? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I really am like one of those little dogs today that won't stop yapping. Guess I really do need a muzzle.

Feeling frustrated that I'm going to need to have the other knee scoped and won't be able to get the damn shed done before winter sets in. Uggghhhh.

RH, you having surgery?

I LOVE surgery!! Especially knee surgery!! Scope is no problem. Quick & Easy!! Be sure to ask for the neat cooler system that pumps ice water around your knee. Speeds up recovery time. Should be up and around in less than 3 days.

I'm afraid you'll have to finish that barn after all!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Got a doctors appointment for tomorrow. Maybe they'll give me a cortisone shot and I'll be on my way. I can't even bend my knee today and all I did Sat. was stand, walk around and ride on the tractor for a bit. I can only figure I have some loose bodies in there that are getting ground up from all the joint movement.

The left knee is still not right after surgery last June. I walk with a limp, just like an old man. Doc said there was nothing he could do unless I was willing to go with a knee replacement and I'm TOO young for that.

(Well, Jelly, there should be plenty of material up there for the rest of the day...to joke about, you know.)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I would take snow over tuna bait any time.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> My DD would die if she read that. Big dolphin fan that girl.