</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LINY:
<strong>Robby--Great job, man! Way to go Flor-i-do! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't have it yet!

Decision will be made the week of 1/03. They'd be NUTS to pick anyone else!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Robby--woohoo!!! You da man!! Stay close to your S, you are needed! Doing a happy Snoopy dance for you. CAn you see it?

A2--I would guess the initial news was quite a shock. It will be so fun to have a little one around though once you get used to the idea. ARe you going to have to go back to Iraq or are you done? Wow, thanks for what you have had to endure for the rest of the free world. We do appreciate it.

YL--thought you were working? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ok, now I am off to run DS to get his wheelchair adjusted he has grown so much. Then try to make it back to work so someone will THINK I actually do something.

OH and A2, you need two more idiot things. Love the job though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kyellow4:
<strong>SERIOUS QUESTION COMING -

Are we, the FWS to have stricter (that's a word) boundaries than our BS???? OR is it an equal standard we need to set for both spouses?
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SERIOUS ANSWER COMING =

Yes, for a while...

I'll explain if I must, but don't really want to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aussie2:
.. it just opened its jaws and slide past me as I peed my swimming thong. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

KY said: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm a bit under the weather, the cold filtered weather.
--I think maybe Liny even made me laugh. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You must be sick. ST call the doctor.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Are we, the FWS to have stricter (that's a word) boundaries than our BS???? OR is it an equal standard we need to set for both spouses?

I'll explain if I must, but don't really want to. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">do you mean should you set stricter boundaries for yourself or for BS?

I think that might be one of those POJA things, at least until both of you are at a point where you feel safe. I know with NOW I have much stricter boundaries with her than I do myself. (But then I've never cross that line.)

FF:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> YL--thought you were working?

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I were...I mean, was...I mean, AM!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> DOH!!! You caught me - just don't tell my boss, OK?? Though I will say - they screwed things in this office up enough while I was gone, and I've gotten 65% of it cleared up in two weeks, I deserve a break!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

KY - OK, as a female, of course I need details! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> BUT, as your friend, I'll answer without them... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I think we ALL need good boundaries - sometimes I think the WS needs more, because they fell once, it'll be easier next time, right? Then I find myself edging closer to "that line" ...so, then I think well, maybe the BS needs more boundaries - they were hurt, they might be more likely to test those lines and "gray" areas to say "Look, I was tempted, and I didn't stray" - BUT in reality, I think it is SO VERY important for BOTH spouses to have good, strong, thought-about-before-it-happens boundaries. Heat of the moment situations can sneak up on either side, specially if somethings a little out of skelter within the relationship. Two, I find that some of the innocent things I use to do, H now raises an eyebrow at, kind-of like "are you gonna pay me back?"

OK, so now that you made ME think, can you tell us what you think?

<small>[ December 23, 2004, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: YL ]</small>

There are other issues that we are dealing with now. Things like her trust for me. Even though I was the one who strayed, she doesn't trust me. I think what she means is she doesn't trust that my care and attention for her will stay as high as it has.

RH - did you mean that since you were not the one who strayed that she doesn't trust that you'll love her the same way? I think my H struggles with that same issue - kindof like I said in that last post - he's afraid I'm gonna try to pay him back.

OK, it's almost 3p - gotta get packed up, wake up the little one, and get on my way home - I'll check back in there, and I expect some answers when I get home, People!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

{{KY}}

I think the fear of most FWS's is that the m will go back to the "old" m once the dust has settled and everyone's stopped being on their best behaviour. And it was the "old" m that left the way open for boundaries to be dropped.

Our m is completely different now but I remember just after d-day saying to Rob that I couldn't bear it if we ever went back to the stage we were at "before" and he agreed.

It's really a case for always being aware that all marriages need protecting and nurturing all the time (that's courtesy of our wonderful MC).

Jen

Hey freaks!

I am soooooo tired. It is so definitely time for a nap.

Did I mention that it is 76 degrees here today...hmmmm.

Things are going pretty well for me. Am happier, seeing a future. I did not think I would say that anytime soon. Funny how life is...

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year Idiotville

Oh yeah, dr appt: Well, I go for an MRI next week. X-rays showed a "Joint mouse." Exactly! What the H is a Joint Mouse. From as best I can tell, it's the doctors way of saying bone chip though she wasn't sure it was a bone chip. The other thing, when she moved my knee around and poked and prodded for pain, she said the joint mouse didn't correspond to where my pain was. So she ordered the MRI for next week, and expects that they'll have to "go in and clean it up" which is kind a what I expected. At least I don't need the cane to get around today (only to beat on NOW with). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> (Is that sort of like tying up? Or is it just abuse?)

<<<<Ok, so I won't beat on her jsyk.>>>>

Forget it, I know my answer. Thanks everybody.

<small>[ December 22, 2004, 02:26 PM: Message edited by: kyellow4 ]</small>

Xmas party at the lab today; drinking started at noon.

Guinness on my desk. Just think, if I telecommuted I could do this all the time...

GC

I wish I could tellecommute too... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

YL: I think KiwiJ. covered what I was trying to say. In that she didn't/doesn't/isn't willing to go back to what it was. Neither am I now. I was willing to coexist, taking what I wanted without really giving to the Marriage. Wrong, but that's the point I was and neither of us want that anymore. gotta go too. CYA l8r or tom.

Edit

<small>[ December 22, 2004, 03:14 PM: Message edited by: believer ]</small>

Man - I always miss the good stuff and catch only the edits afterwards!! DI!!!

KiwiJ - well said.

RH - Yah, I got that - just got confused - your post said she didn't trust you even though you were the one who cheated - I thought it was the other way around - but it's really immaterial - the point is this:
We ALL want a better marriage than we had before, and just wish we'd recognized that before we all had to be here!

DipiT!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Well, you said "Merry Christmas" AND you seemed almost "up" in your post - SO, how are things?? Is eyechart coming around, or is he gone for good now?

Believer, thank you. I wasn't comfortable. It was a reminder of how are past was, and I didn't like it. A boundary for me was crossed, and I will make it clear. We talked, but I think specifics need to be mentioned.

YL, I will mail you tomorrow, tonight, I have guessed coming for a pasta dinner. Steve, do you want to come? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

DipiT, Merry Christmas.