So this guy walks into a bar and says, "Gve me two beers."
The bartender obliges him.

The guy looks into his wallet and says, "Give me two more beers."

So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man went on like this until he had put down ten beers, and keeps on going in his wallet and asking for two more beers.

So the bartender asks, "What's in your wallet that you keep looking at?"

So the man opens his wallet and says, "The more I drink, the prettier my wife gets."

FF. Bats in the Belfry? THey were sure driving me nuts this summer. All I could here was this skittering noise over my head while I tried to sleep. Creepy. Yucko. BLECH!
I don't know..... Okay. Yup. Otherwise why would I be here? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yup those flowers would be uncomfortable. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Another hour gone by and no one's posted...skeleton crew tonight. (At hell too--actually got my work done! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> )

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And we won't talk about the teenagers that thought it was their right to walk throughour yard every day, ten times a day, tease my dogs and smoke dope. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Didn't know my sons walked that far.

Sore subject--once again, brown and I got into it again because of them.

Anyhoo, if i don't see everyone: Happy New Year's! (especially to AW, A2 & .!!!!)

(Believer--good to "see" you!!!!)

FF

taking lessons in humour from Aussie & liny ????......... stress yes thats what it is stress..twists your mind I guess........LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So just because I can Idecide to help some new Moms & dads out by ans all those common questions .........

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he/she finishes high school.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?

Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him. SNIP SNIP

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.


Dont want to overload you with wisdom on the last day of the year.....hehehehe <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And keep it going til after they move out! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

BTW, told brown at work about that woman on the skylight? (She hasn't even been lurking last few days...)
Well, the looks I got in my office! I thought she was gonna pee in a 7-11 cup!

G'nite all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

PS Hey GC...how'd it go with your "interview?"

She was "frazzled" and postponed 'til tomorrow.

But my friends from CA who wer supposed to leave today got bumped, so I spent some time with them instead.

GC

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I thought she was gonna pee in a 7-11 cup!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Liny found his funny!

morning Iville! Happy New Year to Jen, A2 and especially a very funny AW! LOL, loved the pg jokes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Robby should be safely off the ground by now and on his way to brrr...Ohio.

My DS way up half the night barfing. It was a fun night for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Morning Everyone. I have my ginormous latte coffee. How is everyone. Who has plans for tonight? Me, alone contemplating life. Trying to keep an optimistic outlook for the New Year.

OT, I went to www.tarot.com and got my cards read for fun(free after you register). Whoah! It can sure be interpreted to fit my sitch. Even the warnings! Strange but a good diversion.

Hullo I'ville !. Hope you all had a great Christmas !

Just got back fronm Margaritaville and am jet lagged and tired up the wazoo. Thought I'd check in though and say a TRULY happy new Year to all folks here of good heart. May 2005 bring hope, love , joy and SF to all of us !

{{{{I'ville}}}}

Hey FA-A! No plans this evening. Just me and the family at home. Sorry you are alone tonight. My DS is sick so I don't even know if I will stay up til midnight.

My H and I are going through some weird stuff. I think he is having some angry spikes? Hard to deal with but I am hanging in there so far.

Bob, I see you posting out there! Welcome back. How was your holiay in Florida? BTW, very good response to TA.

FA-A, where's my coffee? I am dying here.

Hi F-Again, FF, and Bob and family.

New Years Eve, I'll be cooking stuff for sons, roommates and neighbors. Also usually babysit for couples that want to go out. I don't like to go out New Years Eve - never have - the clubs all overcharge and are too crowded. I think it is highly over rated.

Hey FF!!

10.49pm few hours to the New Year to go ...........all so scary quiet around here.

We were going to the dogs - I mean separately from Aussie & I heheheheh - but someone hurt their leg last night so its swollen to about 3 times the size it should be. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

(Did a very bad thing today - LB do you think???- ..I called his CO and told them his leg was stuffed for 6 weeks - broken etc so he was washed out of any Thailand or assistance work ......yikes did A2 go off at me)

well hes talking to me so we'll see how the temper is later.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Hi B, Happy New Year to you! I don't go out either. My H and I don't drink and I worry about drunk drivers on the road. I like to be safe and warm in my house watching movies or watching the ball drop on TV. Bought us some sparkling apple cider to drink and my DD has a friend spending the night.

Hey Bob welcome back...hope the hols were just great!!

Believer how are things with you ???

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey FF, Here you go. Extra large and just the way you like it.

Bob, welcome back.

Yes, I am alone. I am seriously looking at all my options for the next year. So I am a tiny bit lonely. But, I need this time to regroup. I am so battered right now that my LB is so low, I might never recover. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Enough serious talk. I am strong. DOwn but not out. Yet. BUt, seriously considering whther I even want WH back. Only thing in his favour is that working things out will be best for DD. NOt for me. I just want a mountain to drop on him. Slowly. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi FF, Believer !

Had a lovely holiday in Fla thanks. Very little R talk and the sound of both of us breathing deep and easy as a result abounded !

I spent so much time with my kids that I'm a litle sick of 'em, and them of me which is great !!!!!!!!!

Miami was exciting and great, the keys were varied and peaceful. Lovely.

Lots of work to do still tho'. My expectations from my Marriage are far higher now than before the A. I won't settle for 'pleasantness' any more.

Good holiday though ! I LOVE Florida ! Got a Xmas card from Friend FNCJ too which was lovely !!!!

FAA - there you are I can see you hiding behind that ginormous latte coffee ...how are you..less than 1 hour to go then ...woo hoo a new year!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />