Bob, I am so glad it went well and your kids had a good time. Sounds like you and Squid did too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am taking your example and told my H that I do not want our old M back. I want to work on a newer M with us being happy together not tolerating each other. Slow going though cuz he is still recovering from my Dday. Has been in an angry mode the past few days.

HEY AW!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! you here me shouting all the way from California? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Morning AW and believer. Coffee's on. WHere are the funnies? COmics. UH DUH, the paper AND the funny joke. Funny like AWs pregos stuff. I could sooo relate <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

ok---ive read and kept up with this whole thread...figure its about time i say hello and ask if i can move to I-ville. whenever i need a break from reality i find myself here anyway.

happy new year to the ones celebrating it in a bit!!!

Hi Nikko,

Welcome to Iville! Robby is the Mayor, Jelly is the Queen (Jelly rules shh don't tell Robby). You need to tell us three non A idiotic things you have done and then get a job! I am the part time short order cook and 411 information lady. We have a sharp shooter, activity director, umm boy do I need coffee cuz I can't remember anyone's job this morning. Well...I AM an idiot!

SURE CAN hehehehe

can relate to the angry H mode right now.......... oh well I'll enjoy the new year ven if he doesnt want to..kids are up..oops correction DD is up DS is asleep...I have 1 niece & 1 nephew watching catrtoons on foxtel 10 yes old & 6 yr old determined to see out the new year...35 mins to go

Now jokes for FAA hehehe

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for. (Husbands?? ...... we're working on that one)

Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.

Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? When you see teeth marks?
A. NO. When you FEEL teeth marks.

Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in the 5th year of their own marriage.

BTW Nikko, if you have kept up with this entire thread you ARE an idiot! LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

KNOCK KNOCK FF. It is right in front of you!

You ARE in I'ville. It is extra large, too! Did someone else take it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I think AW snuck off with my coffee! AW that is a no no! How's the pg going? Feeling better? Hug that man of yours for us ok? He is a gem. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

AW! NO coffee for the mother-in-waiting! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> FF a fresh one on the way.

Welcome Nikko - this is our little hideaway from all the stress on this board.

AW - your teeth joke reminded me of something. I nursed my sons until they were 3. I was standing in line at the grocery store one day with my oldest in the grocery cart. He started unbuttoning my blouse and yelled out "Mom - give me a tit." That was the end of his nursing days.

got it thanks FA-A.

Where is Liny this morning? He is usually on here right after I get up. I have 3 sleeping kids in the house and rain outside. H is at work and I am OFF today!! Woo hoo! Been sitting here for an hour snickering at the 'puter in between putting sheets and towels in the washer from DS night last night. Yuck, my jammies, the sheets, two changes of his jammies, towels etc. But fortunately he stopped barfing about 4 am.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Mom - give me a tit." That was the end of his nursing days.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is funny b! I nursed DD until she was 19 months old. I weaned her when she started saying "boob". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

ok---get a job......gonna need help with that one.

one of the stupid things ive done...let me see...dont think i can top AW incident on the roof or the waxing incident....(dobie, you had me in tears..lol),

oh ok i got one...there was this ad on e-bay for a diet. sounded so good and i really need a good diet. the last one i was on was very unhealthy(the infidelity diet). i got real sick from that one! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> so anyway i see this add and i think---wow--someone to actually design a diet especially for me...sounds good! i think im gonna go for it!!! i need someone to keep me on track and design a diet just for me....10,000.00 or not---i'll find a way. sell a kid or something....lol

but i never really got a good answer to my questions from the seller.....oh well.....

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ok Nikko.. nice try but the Mayor's diet doesn't count!

AW, YOu are very funny. Welcome nikko. Are you evading the 3 things/

Hey I have a great idea! WHere is that lightbulb emoticon? I would love to see a separate thread with I'ville 3 idiot things for each user. That would be the comic relief for a quick hit. An I'ville application form so to speak. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

What do you think? I would even volunteer to put them together. But I think I need a consensus. Mayor, Jelly? Everyone?

Welcome Nikko <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

well you already have ONE idiot thing...keeping uop with this whole thread he he he NOW thats a good one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Now you just need 2 other idiot things <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

New Year's Resolutions

As we all start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so important New Year's Resolutions. I have faithfully made such resolutions in the past, and while I haven't been able to keep all of them, I have tried my best to continue making progress on them year after year.
Following is my revised list of "New Year's Resolutions - 2005 Edition":

Resolution #1 2002: I will try to be a better husband to Marge. 2003: I will not leave Marge. 2004: I will try for a reconciliation with Marge. 2005: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.

Resolution #2 2002: I will stop looking at other women. 2003: I will not get involved with Wanda. 2004: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another marriage. 2005: I will stop looking at other women.

Resolution #3 2002: I will not let my boss push me around. 2003: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide. 2004: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me. 2005: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.

Resolution #4 2002: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2003: I will read at least 10 books a year. 2004: I will read 5 books a year. 2005: I will finish Airport.

Resolution #5 2002: I will not get upset when Charlie and Sam make jokes about my baldness. 2003: I will not get annoyed when Charlie and Sam kid me about my toupee. 2004: I will not lose my temper when they tell the guys I wear a girdle. 2005: I will not speak to Charlie and Sam.

Resolution #6 2002: I will get my weight down below 180. 2003: I will watch my calories until I get below 190. 2004: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200. 2005: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

Resolution #7 2002: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m. 2003: I will not touch the bottle before noon. 2004: I will not become a "problem drinker". 2005: I will not miss any AA meetings.

Resolution #8 2002: I will not spend my money frivolously. 2003: I will pay off my bank loan promptly. 2004: I will pay off my bank loans promptly. 2005: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2006.

Resolution #9 2002: I will see my dentist this year. 2003 I will have my cavities filled this year. 2004: I will have my root canal work done this year. 2005: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

Resolution #10 2002: I will go to church every Sunday. 2003: I will go to church as often as possible. 2004: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation. 2005: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!


WOO HOO lets hope that for all of us it will be a GOOD year too!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


Now how many girls out there can relate to excuses their husbands gave them for not being home for their wedding anniversary …….my first!!!
More years ago then I want to count when we were not long married - the first year - Aussie was posted to Thailand for a short period and came out of the bush up there after a few weeks dirty smelly and very tired..

Now any normal person would want to get clean & sleep but not him oh no.

So he & his mate grabbed a bottle of Thai whiskey each - skull cracker homemade juice you can buy up there - and started drinking, and drinking, and drinking ..you get the idea..

So they climb on top of the command office roof to hide from the SM who was looking for them and drop down into a watch post set on top of the roof and continue drinking, its getting dark, and so these two heroes decide it would so much fun to set the flares off they found in the watch post.

Aussie flicked one while holding the handle down and threw it over the edge.
Nice big bang opened the nightly entertainment I understand and then they send off some more ...then the whole box.
Laughing their heads off. Nearly totally para I an told the two of them

Now they must of thought everyone was getting to the swing of things as sirens started going off and perimeter lights came on and saw people running all over the place………… what a fun pair you would think…

However, what they did was set of warning flares for a insurgency attack and well when the watch officer saw the explosion he added 1 + 5 together and got 2 …………. And that’s why he was 10 days late for our first wedding anniversary …………..he was under detention and I sort of wondered if this was the real Aussie ,,sigh more often then not ..until he went to officer training where he was made into a gentlman ... sgt fists must of been pretty sore by the end of it though
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />