First time poster here. I'm not sure if this is the right forum, but here goes...

My wife is a dedicated career-woman. She is currently on a 5-month overseas assignment for her job. Feeling lonely (i.e. horny), I decided to go to a "massage parlor". Boy was that a mistake. Read on...

They took me to a room, and brought in all the available girls. There was this one girl that stood out above the rest (let's call her "Annie"). She was stunningly beautiful. Absolute physical perfection. I could not believe that she worked there.

Anyways, we had sex. I released all of my sexual frustration that night, or so I thought.

This girl is Korean. I'm Korean. My wife is Caucasian. I suppose in a way, I felt I had a lot in common with her culturally. However, our communication is kind of spotty. I came to the US when I was very young, so my Korean is very basic. She just moved to the US a few years ago, and her English is as bad as my Korean. She is 8 years younger than me. My wife is 4 years younger than me. I've never dated or been intimate with a Korean girl.

Fast forward 2 months, and 6 more visits...all with Annie. What was going to be a one-time "sexual release" turned out to become an physical and emotional attachment with this girl. On our most recent visit, she asked me if I'd like to meet her outside of "work" to go for dinner. Without a second thought, I said sure. That night, we also talked about things like marriage. I lied to her and said I wasn't married. She also said that she loves money and is a high maintenance girl. She likes being pampered. She is basically the opposite of my wife in that regard.

I think that her physical beauty is blinding me to reality. I've even thought about what would happen if I let this relationship materialize and ended up losing my wife. Scary thought, but I did consider it. My wife and I have been together for over 10 years (married for 6). We have no kids yet. I still love her to death, but to be truthful, our sex life is not what it used to be.

What I don't know for sure is if Annie is simply playing with my mind in order to "earn more business", or perhaps to gain US citizenship by getting me to marry her.

I don't know what to do. She is extremely attractive and is showing interest in me. But everything in my logical brain tells me that I should stop seeing her and stay with my wife. My wife is better than her in MANY ways. She is smarter, has better values, is very successful, and would make a great mother. She's no slouch in the looks-department either. She gets hit on by co-workers quite a bit. 5'5", 105 lbs, a natural beauty -- she rarely wears full makeup -- usually slaps on some eye makeup and lipstick.

I'm not exactly sure what is missing in our marriage, but obviously something is. Could it simply just be physical attraction to Annie? Maybe I'm just a sex addict.

Please help me before I lose my mind and my marriage.

Whoaaaaa!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

This one is way out of my league. I'm sure other MB pros will respond in a minute. But I do have this to add. Your married, and made a vow. Stop thinking about yourself. Your hurting your wife. She is going to really hurt when she finds out. Did you stop and think what kind of disease you could of picked up from this girl as well. Goodness gracious. Don't lose your marriage over a prostitue.

You said it....."her beauty is blinding me".
WAKE UP!!!!!!! This girl just wants money! You have a wife who loves you! Stop seeing this girl and go into counseling. You have to confess to your wife!!!!
Why do people feel they can just destroy other people's lives????
I'm sorry...I shouldn't be responding to your post. I am a BS and am just ticked that WS do this!!!!!!
Hope someone comes along to help you. At least you found the site. Good luck!

You said it....."her beauty is blinding me".
WAKE UP!!!!!!! This girl just wants money! You have a wife who loves you! Stop seeing this girl and go into counseling. You have to confess to your wife!!!!
Why do people feel they can just destroy other people's lives????
I'm sorry...I shouldn't be responding to your post. I am a BS and am just ticked that WS do this!!!!!!
Hope someone comes along to help you. At least you found the site. Good luck!

Is this even a real situation?? It sounds like a movie.

-Caren

Sounds to me like this OW does'nt hold a candle to you're wife.

Stop now. If you are lonley while you're wife is gone get a dog. Rent a "movie", do something besides wrecking you're M.

You already know the answer to this, walk away now call you're wife and get in MC.

If the only downside to the M is sex is a little dull, well work on that. It is always fun to do new things behinde closed doors with you're W.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You said

"I don't know what to do."

Really? Are you sure??? Think REAL hard.

Pep

LOL Pep

-Caren

I'm with CarenMc is this real? This sounds like a dear Penthouse letter to me... I mean not that I would know from personal experience mind you.

Look, if it is I just have to say ARE YOU NUTS!!

Stop putting your wife at risk! Every time you have sex with this woman (who you KNOW has multiple partners) you plave the very life of another at risk (including yourself).

It is a prostitutes JOB to make men blinded by their beauty and skills. She may be nice for sure, but she's:

A) Not your Wife
B) Looking for material gratification (and legal help)
C) Not trustworthy
D) Not your Wife!!!!!

Stop contact, go to counseling, see a doctor (stat) and have a convo w/ your wife.

This is not a riddle. Trust your conscience on that one.

This is how affairs start, along with all the lying and rationalizations.

You've dug a very deep hole and now you have to decide to do the hard work to climb out of it or to simply stay down there and get buried alive.

With respect to STD's: No sex with your wife until YOU are tested for all possible STD's. Second, you may be the "latest" possible john, errrr...ticket to permanent resident status, but did you miss "sex 101" in those health classes?

You are having sex not just with "Annie the prostitute," but with everyone that SHE has sex with. She does it for money. Do you really think she asks for a medical checkup before performing with each john, or even demands a condom be used every time?

If you truly want answers and help, then stay here and post. But be warned, infidelity is NOT something that we "put up with" or condone, so wear a thick skin for a while.

IMHO, you flatter yourself if you are thinking that you are in an "affair" with this prostitute.

You are one of her johns...just another paying customer. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

committed

Thanks everyone. Yeah. You all are absolutely right. I am very confused right now. I'm living in a fantasy world, and I don't seem to want to wake up to reality.

As far as STDs...protection was always used, so I'm not worried.

As far as a conversation with my wife...absolutely out of the question. I might as well kiss my marriage goodbye if I did that.

I've never been in a situation like this. I feel like I'm doomed. I think about Annie constantly...day and night, and dream of playing the role of her "big brother savior", so she can quit this and start a REAL life. She says she's only doing this for a year to help with her finances. Believe me folks, we're not talking about just any prostitute here that you see in the movies. This is a real genuine girl that has a future if she wants it.

Why would a real genuine girl with a future cloud her present character and values by choosing to prostitute herself? One would think she could have found something more 'respectable' than that profession.

Aren't you compromising your own values and morality by induldging in this fantasy?

A full reassessment of your choices is in order.

It sounds like you are deluding yourself...big time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Believe me folks, we're not talking about just any prostitute here that you see in the movies. This is a real genuine girl that has a future if she wants it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">mindsink - Not buying any of it.

Think about it.

Let's see what other excuses you can come with until you are ready to face reality.

By the way, while we are waiting, I need some cash to fund the future I want. So I'm going to steal what belongs to others, but just until I get enough to fund what I think I want.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As far as STDs...protection was always used, so I'm not worried. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Righhhhhhht. And there was no kissing, no leakage, no possible way that anything could have been transmitted. No possible way for ANY bodily fluids of any kind to have been transmitted. I guess that's why the Red Cross won't let anyone donate blood who has had sex even ONCE with a prostitute.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As far as a conversation with my wife...absolutely out of the question. I might as well kiss my marriage goodbye if I did that.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That might well be the price you have to pay. But you have already made the decision to "kiss your marriage goodbye." A marriage lived in lies, with self-gratification as it's basis, is SURE to be a good loving marriage.

Here's the "scoop", mindsink. Your marriage, as you and your wife knew it, is already over. It ended when you committed adultery. YOU no longer "control" whether or not the marriage will survive this Tsunami that you've brought into it. Your wife will determine that.

For your sake, I hope the two of you are Christians, because if she's as unforgiving as you seem to think, I'm not optimistic without Christ's model of how to forgive.

Foreverhers...

Ok ok. You're tough, but you make some good valid points.

I'm very thankful for your responses.

After posting and reading back the messages in this thread, I've already lost about 50% of my desire to see Annie again, and I miss my wife 50% more.

Let's hope that no permanent damage has been done here.

Thanks again everyone.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She also said that she loves money and is a high maintenance girl.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I may be speaking out of turn here, but why would you want to have a future with someone that shallow? Wouldn't it be much more fullfilling to have someone who wanted to be with you for WHO YOU WERE as opposed to what you can offer them? If you are dissatisfied with your sex life, isn't it YOUR responsibility to try to spice it up? Why do you expect your wife to be a mindreader? It is your responsibility to your marriage to convey your needs. You didn't even offer your wife a chance to meet them before you threw it away and destroyed her life for something cheap and shallow.

<small>[ January 06, 2005, 07:47 PM: Message edited by: frozen1229 ]</small>

Just out of curiosity, instead of spending all that money for bought sex, why did you not jump in a plane for a week to see your wife and heat up HER SHEETS??? That would be more fullfilling then any empty bought soul I would think!!! That and it would leave your wife feeling loved, cherised, special, and remembered!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by mindsink:
[QB] Foreverhers...

After posting and reading back the messages in this thread, I've already lost about 50% of my desire to see Annie again, and I miss my wife 50% more.

Let's hope that no permanent damage has been done here.


Need a push to the other 50% side? My brother got involved in a similar situation as yours. He had a wife and 3 children. He is dead now, he died a horrible death from aids contracted from the prostitute. Enough said?

{{{{{{{{{{{{Ladysing58}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry to hear that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />