So let's take another survey..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Who here has actually done phone counseling w/Steve, Jennifer or Cerri?

If so, what has been your experience and would you recommend it to others? Please provide a brief explanation.

I'll start. WS and I had 1 session with Steve a little over 1 month after d/d. It was worth every penny. Though it was the just get acquainted session, Steve saw through the fog. He gave me hope. He also gave me homework. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am glad we had the phone session. WS balked but he talked for 40+ minutes of our 1 hour session. I got approx. 7 minutes and Steve had 13 minutes for intro and conclusion.

Wish it could have been more. I also read 4 books: Surviving and Affair, His Needs/Her Needs and Giver Taker all by Dr Harley + Love must be tough by Dr. James Dobson.

Had a MC I phoned regularly at the beginning. MB posting here helped me also. Created my personal support group and hung on for dear life.

That roller coaster ride lasted from Nov 2000 to Sept 2003. Ended with a false RO charge from the OW.

Would I use Steve and all the MB tools again? Yep. Keep plan B in my back pocket. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

How about your story?

L.

I used Steve 1-time about 5-months ago after D-day. WW refused to speak with him each time I offered. Even though he only heard my side (I was as objective as possible) his "diagnosis" has turned out to be scary accurate. He even predicted what WW would do w/o help of some kind. She is doing exactly what he said & sadly is destroying herself. His input also helped me with closure.

FR

I haven't but what does it cost? TT

tt. 185/hr which is why most of us can't <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Add me to the list L!

I counseled with Jenn 3 or 4 times alone way back when. When [H] pulled his head out of his a** we worked with Jenn 3 or 4 times also. We LOVE her.

She and my MB buddies gave me the hope I needed. Like Orchid, I had my personal support group, which included her. Together with all the support, I thrived and [H] and I are thriving. It wouldn't have been possible without it.

Would I do it again? YES! Would I recommend it to my friends? YES!!

It was $125/hour 4 years ago but somehow, the money was always available.

I've read Surviving and Affair, His Needs/Her Needs and Giver Taker all by Dr Harley, Love must be tough by Dr. James Dobson (actually it's Orchid's copy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) Private Lies by Pittman, Torn Asunder (sp?), Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass and a couple of others I can't remember.

I didn't read Not Just Friends until 3 years in recovery. It's good!

We're coming up on 4 years and doing just fine. Thank you again Orchid for all you did for me.

Love you!!
K

Whoa.A post from Knewjie! Glad to see that you are doing well still.

I never had the chance to counsel with Steve,Jennifer or cerri.But I would have if my WH was really home for good and was honest about recovery.Sadly, he never was.

O

I did ~6 times with Steve. Mx ex did one time after she left.
No surprises for Steve. He knew pretty much what her attitude would be and what she would say.

He helped me keep focus and redirect my efforts as well as clear up any misconceptions about MB.

Best money I ever spent and I HIGHLY recommend it to everyone here.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you again Orchid for all you did for me.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I want to second that, but all you are DOING for me.

There are a few people on MB that I think about all the time, and whenever I feel like I am not sure what to do, I ask them for advice. You are one of them. I look up to you Orchid!

Also, I have been considering phone counseling with MB. At this point in my situation I am not sure if now is a good time though. WH is one lined....straight to a DV...

Danielle

I have had two sessions with Steve. I find his advice very helpful - he gives me specific actions or things to say that help me communicate with H. I will be talking to him again, and part of our counseling is to try to get H to participate. He won't, so far.

As to cost: $185 an hour. I put it on my Mastercard. If I save the marriage, it will be worth every penny. My lawyer charges $200 an hour, Steve only $185. Not only cheaper, but the possibility of having the desired result instead of D. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You can choose either Steve or Jennifer. I chose Steve because I thought my H would be more willing to talk to him than a woman. Jennifer's hours were better for me (afternoons) but Steve only does mornings. So my sessions are at 6 a.m. So Steve and I meet over my coffee!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I have met with SH many times over the last two years. My STBXW did meet with him a couple of times during our false R.

It is expensive but has been worth every penny to me. It is very hard to think through so many of these issues in a productive way because of all the emotion involved. SH has helped me to focus, get a handle on my situation and act in a confident manner.

My M has not been saved, only because my W has been unwilling to try. What this counseling has done is enable me to be in a position of strength. I have protected myself and especially my kids very well over this time and am very much in control of my life. This is largely due to the counseling I have received and guidance from so many of the thoughtful, intelligent people on this site. It REALLY scares me to think what would have happened if I would have tried to do all this on my own!

Thank you sooo much for your responses. I hope these experiences will help others see that phone counseling always gives support and strength to the BS and family. The WS benefits only if they choose to work with the phone counselors.

Why do I recommend Steve, Jennifer and Cerri? Well I also recommend one finding a good MC or IC in your individual areas but as you can see, Steve, Jennifer and Cerri have developed a knack for getting to the heart of the matter ASAP. This savings of time has helped many reach that turning point where the heart and mind get in sync sooner. It still takes some time but why lengthen the pain?

BTW, this isn't a paid advertisement for the MB phone counseling service. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> It's the truth.

Hope it helps and keep those experiences coming. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Aloha,
L.

ps: Dani, thanks for your compliment (knewjie - U 2). But if you really knew me like Knewjie, Redhat and a few others.... you'd know that it w/b hard to look up to someone who is only 4'10" tall. LOL!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Another thing to consider:

If you're separated and geographically very far apart, phone counseling may be your only option if your spouse is willing to do it. This is the deal in my case...we can't go to MC because we're so far apart.

Hopefully he'll start the phone counseling as he said he would.

WH and I have counseled with Steve a total of 7 or 8 times since August.

It has been worth every cent and I plan on continuing to do it when needed.

Should the cow jump over the moon and hell freeze over and we ever get to the point of beginning a recovery, I will insist on at least monthly counseling with Steve.

He has the ability to get through to a WH like no one else has and makes sure to keep the BS on track, realistic and hopeful. That's a hard combination to achieve.

So, if you can, find a way. It's worth it.

I call SH about every 2 weeks. Without Steve I wouldn't have made it this far. My wife had one session with Steve and it definately changed her attitude.

Steve talked to her about how people "Fall in Love, and then Out of Love."

He also talked to her about "Conditional Love vs Unconditional Love."

At least she opened up a little after that conversation. She has talked to no one since. She still wants the marriage over with as far as I know, we haven't brought it up in quite some time. We'll see what happens over the next few months. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I would not waste my time trying to do anything until you have called Steve at least 1 time, it is definately worth every penny and more.

My FWH and I counseled with SH about 6 times it was worth every penny. He gave us each concrete assignments that helped us. He didn't take sides he just listened and coached us through. We felt that though expensive it was worth every penny...can't put a price tag on your Marriage. We also did individual and regular MC with a pro marriage counselor who helped us work on our individual issues (which SH doesn't do). The combination are two of the keys to our quick recovery. 2 years later and we are stronger and more in love then ever!