Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1268953 01/30/05 03:35 AM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7
S
StillMe Offline OP
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
S
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7
My WW attempted suicide this evening. She tried to OD by taking muscle relaxers.

We were taking while she bathed and I noticed that she was very down. Much more than I had seen earlier this morning. There were long silences in our conversation that led me to ask what she was thinking about. She paused for a long time, then said we need to go to the hospital. I asked why. She said the same thing again. I asked had she taken something. She said 10 Soma. I immediately call 911.

It seems that her extreme despondence over the recent rejection by the OM, when combined with some depression over a yet unsuccessful treatment of a painful bladder disorder, was more than she thought she could take.

She is now in the ICU under suicide watch. Tomorrow she will be transferred to a psychiatric ward for evaluation and start of treatment. She will be hospitalized for at least three days.

Having been through this trauma and 10 hours at the hospital, I am too exhausted mentally to write anymore.

I ask for your prayers for her speedy recovery to mental health, physical health, and to a healthy marriage.

StillMe


OM Called Me

#1268954 01/30/05 04:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Still,

U got it. It is a turn that will require extra healing time but at least she is now putting it out in the open.

I know this is hard on you and your family. Get some rest and let us know later how you are doing.

take care,
L.

#1268955 01/30/05 05:20 AM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
It is hard to put into words the dispair and worthlessness you feel when it suddenly hits you what you have done to your H & family and I guess the OM and their family too.

OM was never an issue with me but H certainly was, my kids were as well.

my IC picked up how I was feeling and very quickly got me over 4 very bad days.
I dont know if I would have done anything but I was preoccuppied with the idea that if I was just not here all the pain I caused would go away. All very incorrect thinking & logic.

as bad as this is, look at the GOOD part...she changed her mind & asked for help and is now getting treatment for her deep depression.
AND she asked YOU for that help.

I dont know how this will play out in the end for you, but I think this has to mean your shoulders and arms are those who lifted her up in her mind, YOU kept her safe, and while she mends she'll remember that. Dont know if thats enough to loosen the OM's hold on her thoughts but one can hope.

If you are not in MC now would this be a good time after she is released from hospital to start? She may be receptive then.

All the best

#1268956 01/30/05 05:44 AM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 935
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 935
I am really sorry - just wanted to say that I will pray for both of you.

I know how hard it can be - we lost our SIL to suicide three years ago. And six months ago, my best friend attempted suicide and spent a month in psychiatric hospital - she was depressed after the death of her mother. It is very difficult, but she can recover...she needs help, and she obviously wanted help or she wouldn't have alerted you to the fact and asked you to take her to the hospital...

I know this will be exhausting for you physically and emotionally, but this could be a turning point for her, and for your relationship, especially if you give her all the love and support she needs right now...

Saying prayers for you.
LIR

#1268957 01/30/05 06:28 AM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 729
R
RHM Offline
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 729
She's going to need all the love and support you can give her. Make sure you let her know you love and NEED her. We'll be praying for your whole family.

#1268958 01/30/05 06:44 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,399
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,399
prayers for you and yours, StillMe

#1268959 01/30/05 08:27 AM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
The upside to this Stillme, as the others have said is that this is a beginning. A beginning of healing and rebuilding.

I will say a prayer of thanks that she reached out for help before it was too late. And that you were there to help her.

The pain on this board this morning is almost over whelming. But I think for you and WW, the journey towards healing has begun. Sometimes we must tear apart the old (your wifes desparate plea for help)before we can rebuild.

As Lady in Red said, it might take months for her to get to a good place (it took me three years after my suicide attempt) but I didn't have the help that your wife has (you and the professionals). So try to look at this as a blessing in desguise.

#1268960 01/30/05 09:21 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
I agree Weaver, the pain on this board this morning is overwhelming.

I felt suicidal at the beginning of this month, it is the worst feeling I can imagine. It really does feel like things would be better if you weren't around, like at least if you did it, it wouldn't hurt anymore. Thank God, and my parents/family that I got myself straightened around, and haven't felt that way since. I know it's not the answer, I'm sure she will find it's not the answer too.

It is a good thing that she told you. It was a cry for help that she did......meaning she decided that she didn't want to die, and asked you to help her.....and you were there, I'm sure that will mean the world to her in the coming days.

You are in my prayers,

-Caren

#1268961 01/31/05 01:41 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,255
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,255
SM...prayers your way for you and your family...

Blessings,
LINY

#1268962 01/31/05 01:53 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
This is now your chance to

***be the lighthouse***

Hope YOU are doing well enough yourself to accept this job of lighthouse.

Take care

Pep

#1268963 01/30/05 04:15 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 490
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 490
Still Me,

I truly do feel for you. I hope you have the strength to pull through this terrible event and move forward.

I have a terrible feeling that my WW may be headed for disaster as well. Its been overwhelming a lot of my thoughts lately and I am truly worried that I will end up in a similar cicumstance as you and I have no power to avoid it.

Miker

#1268964 01/30/05 09:40 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 891
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 891
Still Me,

First of all, prayers to your wife. I hope she'll be okay. At least she's in a safe place for now, and she'll be in treatment.

I can understand your wife's depressed state, as I was a FWW and my OP left me too. I guess that people are more callious, because they figure that it was an A, you were "asking for it" in some way. The fact is that the end is hard, especially if you were hurt in the process. My H picked up the pieces and supported me when I cried over losing my "best friend" after the A ended. He knew how lost and desperate and depressed I really was. So, I could understand your supportive tone, and I admire it. Takes a very strong person to be that supportive! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Let us know how your wife makes out, and how you're doing. Take care.

CC

#1268965 01/30/05 10:17 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
SM,

Hopefully, during the next 72hr's the doctors will be able to convince her she's needs extended counseling. And I hope she's receptive to getting that help.

And how about you? How are you holding up? This is VERY hard and trying on you too,,,I know.

#1268966 01/30/05 10:30 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 683
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 683
Hi Stillme,

I think its great that you have reached out for support here, because I know it can be just so hard to support someone you love through something like this. Make sure you look after yourself in every way you can!The only way you can support her is if you are coping yourself.

Also I feel for your W. I have also had an A, and I also went through a long stage where I felt terribly, terribly depressed. In my case it was about realising how much I'd hurt my H and how terribly I'd behaved, violating my own ethics, my own dignity and self-respect, and in the process destroying my M, for something that was just a meaningless bubble. The contrast between who I wanted to be and (previously) thought I was and who it seemed I actually was, was just too much reality to cope with.

I'm not sure of the exact reasons for your W's depression, but just wanted to let you know that it might be a combination of a whole lot of conflicting emotions at once, not just her missing OP.

And also having been on the other side, trying to help a depressed loved one, I also know how hard that is. PLease, please look after yourself.

#1268967 01/30/05 11:58 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,612
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,612
Oh Still me, Bless your heart. My ex commited suicide so I am glad that she is getting help. Suicide attempts are serious so I hope she will get help after the hospital stay. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know it is a cliche but so true.

Rest and know that we care.

Tiggy

#1268968 01/31/05 06:03 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
_
Member
Offline
Member
_
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
StillMe,

It could just as easily been me posting a story like that. I thank God that your W is safe right now and that my w hasn't gone down that road.

-AD


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 783 guests, and 56 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5