My STBX told me she wasn't going to wait for me.

I have not talked to her for a week. Her words are empty.

Since Christmas she has gone back on every commitment she has made. She has continued to lie to me, she has shown no remorse. Still expresses affection for her lover.

She says if I don't come around she is not going to wait for me.

I'm tired of talking. Her words mean nothing.

I told her not to wait.

I watched her actions, listened to her words.

There is nothing.

.

I hear you bro.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Tom Joad:
I'm tired of talking. Her words mean nothing.

I told her not to wait.

I watched her actions, listened to her words.

There is nothing.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are back to your whole yourself!
Congratulations!

I'm confused. She won't wait?

What won't she wait for? She won't wait before she has another Affair, or goes back to her first OM.

TJ, I'll bet that racked up points for her huh. Unless you come back, she'll start cheating again.

She won't wait. She won't wait for you to accept her lies? She won't wait for you to accept you can't trust her to keep her comittment? She won't wait for you to accept that the OM was, as you tell, "a good man"?

Good Lord Tom!

She should be showing you something, not making demands. Have you shown her how a real FWS acts on the threads here?

Does her version of "coming around" mean for you to accept her not meeting any of your conditions for rebuilding the marriage! Why should you cave in to her demands by "coming around" when she had the affair. From knowing your history on this board, and how she treated you, I would tell her Seeyalaterbye! Don't set yourself up for another round of emotional abuse by making any compromises on your conditions for rebuilding the marriage.

She was waiting? Is that what she calls it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Oh boy TJ, she's lost. Give her a map and tell her you've already left. Tell her you've hiked out of that mud hole a long time ago. Why is she still standing in the poop?

Then let her know that you have already started on your road to recovery and now wonder why she is still standing outside the A's door. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

<small>[ February 15, 2005, 10:28 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

I take that Back Tom. You can' tell a WS anything. Forget that.

The good thing about this, is that you will be so much better picking your next partner, and using what you learned will make you a grate partner too.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Tom Joad:
<strong> My STBX told me she wasn't going to wait for me.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I didn't know that she was in charge.

I am sorry Tom. I know this hurts you.

In your next relationship, the first rule is 'no badgering allowed'.

All the best,
Gimble

Tom - I think she is getting scared that you will not take her back. She is turning everything around. Don't pay any attention to her words. Watch for actions.

{{Believer}}

I have watched her actions. She has ignored me the same as before. I let her know how I felt, but it didn't matter. Just like before. She promised to make herself available and accountable for her time. She backed out. She promised no more lies, but she lied.

STD, (those are funny initials),
Yeah. Same thoughts here. She is threatening me with more infidelity. It makes me want to just run back home to that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

She isn't willing to do a thing. The strangest thing is she keeps saying she is doing things, but I have no idea what they are.

I've grown, she wants to drag me back into her gutter.

Orchid, I gave her a map. She won't read it. She can but she would rather take the dirt road, that just isn't a road I'm traveling anymore.

<small>[ February 15, 2005, 11:12 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom:

You're still trying 2 make sense of fog. It ain't doable.

I asked you on one of your other threads: When is the DV final? Might give you a clue as 2 why these things are coming up with greater frequency now.

2day, my W told me she saw a show about Adult A.D.D., and decided I've got it. Trying 2 make sense of that "observation" in the scheme of all that's going on in our lives right now just gave me heartburn.

Ignoring things like that is probably the right thing 2 do. But Orchid's R.B. might be more fun <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-ol' 2long

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is threatening me with more infidelity. It makes me want to just run back home to that.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That must make you feel really safe with her.

The worst part of moving on for me, was the feeling that the opportunity for a great relationship with someone I once loved was gone. The possiblities were so promising using MB principals.

But I was the only one using them.

Sounds the same in your house.

Wow,

You know..I just reflexively get this evil smile on my face every time a WS says that they won't do something.

What a thinly veiled attempt to dominate.

Glad you didn't fall for it.

Noodle

<small>[ February 16, 2005, 06:37 AM: Message edited by: noodle ]</small>

TJ...
Sounds to me like she's getting a little scared that you won't take her back. I would ignore everything she says. She's grasping!!!!!

Stay strong!!!!! {{{{TJ}}}}}

TJ:

STBX is actually doing you a tremendous favor by showing her true colors - at least for now. It makes your decision(s) so much easier and it look like you've got it in the right perspective. Good for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WS's live in fantasy (fog), BS's live in reality. Only when WS chooses to accept reality can they emerge from the fog!

You are a wise man TJ. Good Luck.

FR