Options,
You're the one who had the courage to do it.

Also I hate to be a pessimist but just remember your wife will go thru withdrawal. Despite the in person meeting she should write an NC letter.

Mac

Opt, I am so glad you had a great weekend! I don't want to throw a wet blanket on your enthusiasm here, but this is far from over as long as she still has contact. Please don't allow her sudden niceness to distract you from your path, which is achieving permanent NO CONTACT. It is likely that this affair is probably not over but in a remission. Please be very wary of this fact.

We tend to be so grateful at any scrap the WS throws at us that we forget to protect ourselves. It is at this point that many BS settle for scraps and live to regret it for many years.

Where did she go this weekend?

Will she send a no contact letter?

Thanks cwmac.

I do realize it is not going to be all roses from here on out. Good idea on the NC letter. I will try to get W to realize the importance and write one. I tried in the past but I think it was too early.

Opt.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by options:
<strong> Thanks cwmac.

I do realize it is not going to be all roses from here on out. Good idea on the NC letter. I will try to get W to realize the importance and write one. I tried in the past but I think it was too early.

Opt. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You can guage her sincerity from her reaction. I would also start talking to her about ending contact permanently, as in leaving her job.

Opt, I cannot express how important this step is. The worst mistake I see BS's make on this forum, behind not exposing, is not setting a boundary for absolute no contact. And that is because your W cannot withdraw from him until ALL CONTACT ENDS. Do you see what I mean?

If she does not withdraw, your marriage does not have a chance in hell. You will be dealing with this for years.

Are you talking to Harley today?

Thanks Mel, That is what I need is for you all to keep me on the right path here.

She went out with GF shopping.

I am not sure if she will send a NC letter. I am going to work on that with her.

You are right, the A is probably just in remission. I will watch out for that and continue to protect myself. W and I have to talk again about NC and the importance of it. Right now I don't believe she realizes the importance of it. I do truley believe she wants to end the A and make things better though. Probably in her mind she thinks she can do it the way she is trying.

Opt.

Opt, if she is truly committed to ending the affair, then she will GLADLY send the letter to him. That is why I say this is a guage of her sincerity.

And remember, she probably won't ever see the wisdom of leaving her job and ending contact. [at least not until she is withdrawn] That is ok, because it is YOUR BOUNDARY that you can't afford to vacillate on.

You are the one who has been victimized here, she is not in a position to negotiate away your boundaries, Opt.

I would also continue to try and contact the OM. I think that will help you in the short term to keep the affair at bay.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by options:
<strong>

She went out with GF shopping.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can you check her cell phone logs?

I hope to be talking to SH today. I left him another message.

I can see her cell phone logs. There are no calls to OM on there.

You are right, if she serious about NC then she will send the letter. Tonight should be interesting. We need to have a talk about setting boundaries. We have never had that. I started to talk to her last night and she said she was in a very good mood and did want to ruin the moment by talking about it now. I told her ok but we needed to talk about it another time and not brush it off.

Opt.

Options, I see it’s a while since you’ve last send a post/update… I was wondering about you and I hope you are okay…. I hope you didn’t have problems like so many others here to log in or to read on these forums. Anyway, I hope we will hear from you again soon. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Blessings,
Suzet