Orchid --
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You are aware that both plans A & B are NOT about doing anything to or for the WS right? Those plans are about you and for you as the BS.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I disagree that plan A is not about doing anything for the WS ... in plan A we put the taker on hold and our giver has to be active 24/7.
To quote
Bramble Rose </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But in Plan A, our Giver has to step up to the plate and we have to put the Taker on hold.
This means having to smile, act cheerful, perform acts of love (fill ENs), and root out lovebusters - when our Taker is raging inside, wanting to scream, cry, hurt back, beg, appease - whatever it takes to get our needs met, our world fixed and to get everything rebalanced.
This is why Dr. Harley says we can't follow our instincts - our instincts get us into trouble. Our Taker wants us to withdraw, to defend, to attack, to demand, to force the situation back into control.
We have to ignore our Taker in Plan A. It means having emotions, but choosing actions that are not emotionally based, but rather rationally based.
This means that we will FEEL like a doormat. That FEELING is because of a restrained Taker. This is why Plan A is only a limited timeline and Plan B is so important...because Plan A, done well, WILL drain a lovebank - since there is no Taker standing by to plug the leaks.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This does not mean accepting abuse from the WS -- but it does mean doing things to and for the WS.
It also means setting up boundaries and providing for safety. But you still need to meet WS ENs in Plans A -- which does mean doing things to and for them.
Maybe I misunderstand what you mean.
way2