My STBXW has recently gotten a new lawyer and apparently has decided to make things as difficult as possible. She wants to get a separate attorney for the kids and have them interviewed in an attempt to help with custody. I HATE the idea of putting the kids through something like that but don't know what kind of options I have.

Has anybody been through this? Is it as bad as it sounds to me? I have a call in to my lawyer to see what I can do.

I have had custody of them for the last two years and believe it to be in their best interest to keep it that way. They are doing very well considering what has happened and I don't think making a big change in the custody arrangement is going to do anything helpful. I have given her full access to the kids anytime she wants, it just hasn't been a high priority of hers for whatever reason.

I have been confident in how this will all turn out, but now I'm a little worried. I wonder how far she will go or what she will try before it's all said and done.

starman :


My STBXW has recently gotten a new lawyer and apparently has decided to make things as difficult as possible. She wants to get a separate attorney for the kids and have them interviewed in an attempt to help with custody. I HATE the idea of putting the kids through something like that but don't know what kind of options I have.

AND YOU SHOULD HATE THE IDEA, I DO NOT KNOW YOUR STORY OR HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN AT IT WITH YOUR STBX. YOU HAVE PLENTY OF OPTIONS AND MOST OF THEM SHOULD BE DISCUSSED WITH YOUR ATTORNEY OR IF YOUR STATE HAS ONE A " LAW GUARDIAN "


Has anybody been through this? Is it as bad as it sounds to me? I have a call in to my lawyer to see what I can do.

I walked out on my wife with the kids and as soon as I got wind she was up to something I got a restraining order keeping her from the children, and to this day it is in effect, my sitch is a little diffrent but if she has been in and out of there life the courts will not remove the children from a well suited home unless there is some kind of neglect in the home.


I have been confident in how this will all turn out, but now I'm a little worried. I wonder how far she will go or what she will try before it's all said and done.

WW will go to any extent to mess with our heads and the lives of the ones they have hurt, blow it off and talk to an attorney, you should also be getting child support from her since the kids reside with you. If not then inform her, well since you want to fight for the children I will also mention that you have not paid child support in two yrs, see how she likes it.


1) How old are the children? this makes a diffrence as well.

Mschluter,

My kids are S15,S13,S11,D9,D4.

My STBXW moved out of to be with OM a little over two years ago. For the first six months she had very little contact with the four older kids. She would come over to the house and take care of our baby during the day because I had to work and it took me a while to get preschool set up for her.

After her A with OM fell apart she moved into her own apartment and has basically had the kids every other weekend, alternating holidays, and a few weeks each summer. She has not been very diligent with her weekends, having skipped quite a few and never requesting to make them up.

I have been keeping a journal of her time with the kids for the last six months. She has skipped three of her weekends and has averaged two hours of contact per week besides her weekends with them. This includes phone calls. She acts as if she wants the kids so much more but her ACTIONS show differently.

I have been able to keep the kids schedule very steady this whole time. They have even commented on how little things have changed since STBXW moved out. That's because she was gone a LOT for the last couple of years we were M, before she moved out completely.

I do worry because she was a SAHM and there was no abuse involved. I don't know if all the time she was gone would be considered neglect or not. She is not a very stable person either. I wonder if I could push for her to get a psych. evaluation to assess her fitness? Maybe if I agreed to have one too?

In my state, it's well within your rights to ask for a court-ordered psychological evaluation of your STBX, particularly if you also agree to one. It's called a custody evaluation, DUH, I know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Take your children to your attorney and ask for a Law Guardian. in NY any child over 5 can decide on who and where they wanna live, So if your children are really happy and secure where they are, No judge would make them move..Regardless of what your STBXW wants..


She has to be out of her Rocker to think after two yrs she can step back into the childrens lives and play God with them. I would even seek a mediator to help her talk to you about what she may really want.

I told my WW that if she stayed away and followed her court dates and followed what the judge said I would not ask for Child Support, maybe thats her problem..Is she paying child support?

Oh Starman,
I just got a different spin on your STBXW and I say block her from whatever she is trying to do. She seems a lot more unstable than I thought. Starman, she is trying to use the kids as pawns and as a product of a divorce situation, I firmly disagree in using the children as game pieces. It just rips their hearts to see their parents acting like kids themselves.

Starman, remain being the adult and be firm. Keep tabs on her do's and don'ts and be prepared to show that in court. I just can't imagine women who would use their kids as game pieces...as precious it is to have children (I just had a friend who just miscarried and another couple lost their 4 month old to SIDS), how could she treat them this way?

Starman, I got your back. Hang in there and be strong. You don't have to stay in the marriage if she is beyond repair...

Nomoregames

Starman,

You get yourself the best atty money can buy, and you fight to win!

As if those poor babies haven't been through enough. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Document everything, the more dirt on her the better. Keep a log of missed weekends, etc.

Start righting it all out from the beginning so your atty has everything to work with.

I have 50/50 of my DD and her dad is starting to play stupid games too.

Do what you need to do to retain full custody. Your wife is still a WS and by that definition alone unfit to be a full time or even half time mom.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by starman:
<strong> My STBXW has recently gotten a new lawyer and apparently has decided to make things as difficult as possible. She wants to get a separate attorney for the kids and have them interviewed in an attempt to help with custody. I HATE the idea of putting the kids through something like that but don't know what kind of options I have.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've never heard of this before. Kids with their own attorney?!?!? Why?!?!? How could this be in the best interest of the kids?!?!?

Tell your lawyer to send her lawyer a letter saying. The kids are happy with the current living situation and I don't intend on modifying it. No they cannot have their own attorney. If she suggests that she doesn't believe you, then tell her well that's the way it is and don't let the kids be drug into this unless the court mandates it. Then follow their rules not hers. This kids attorney thing is crazy talk!

I think it will be VERY difficult for her to change something that has been in place for two years if its been working.

Good luck!

Miker

Starman,
I just saw "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" over the weekend...IT WAS EXCELLENT! I suggest you take some pointers from this movie...look beyond the fact it is from a woman's perspective, but look at how that woman handled her situation.

I suggest that movie for everyone on MB.

Nomoregames